Queer As Cat | Page 36 of 74 | gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual

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March 12, 2018

on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

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May 12, 2017

? queer is

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October 17, 2017

my #WakandaForever✊? is not your #WakandaForever✊

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April 21, 2018

gender feels; racial trauma.

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December 6, 2017

Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 52 – Non-Binary vs Trans Identity | “Transitioning” | #NonBinaryYT

August 16, 2016 / No Comments

as someone who is non-binary but who does not identify as trans, i have a rather complicated relationship with the term and concept of “transitioning” and with trans-specific community, resources, etc in general. this video, a submission to the #NonBinaryYT collaboration project, is about my personal relationship with trans identity, my coming out process, what has and hasn’t changed for me during the 4 years that i’ve identified as non-binary, thoughts on “transitioning” as non-binary and conflicted feelings about rejecting trans identity. ————– TIME POINTS ———— @ 00:00 – Intro: What is #NonBinaryYT? ——– (ie. you should totally participate if you’re non-binary and interested) @ 01:00 – Q1. Do you identify as trans? What does that mean to you? ——– (ie. not identifying as trans and why that is uuggghh) @ 02:58 – Q2. What did coming out for the first time look like for you? ——– (ie. discovering the word…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “So I think that I’m aromantic?”

August 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I think that I’m aromantic? Because like in all my 20 years of living I’ve never ever had any kind of crush or romantic feelings at all. The thing is, the idea of being in a romantic relationship sounds really nice to me. Is it possible to be aro but want to be in a romantic relationship? Like although I don’t get any kind of desire in regards to romance I still kinda want a relationship… I’m so confused it most certainly is possible to be aromantic and to want to be in a romantic relationship. while it is true that some aro people do not want to be in a romantic relationship, being aromantic is still by no means synonymous with not wanting to be in a romantic relationship. in my humble opinion, being aromantic in and of itself says nothing about the types of relationships…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)
July 21, 2013
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story time: when “African” is more important than “American”

August 14, 2016 / 2 Comments

a former coworker (W) and i were in Tokyo today at Sensoji, a major tourist trap in Asakusa that’s in every foreign EVERY guidebook ever. a place that i generally avoid except i was playing tour guide for the day. i was off somewhere snapchatting, as i do, and when i came back to where W was there was a random middle-aged Japanese man excitedly talking to him about where he was from (Colorodo). i’m standing there for a minute or two half listening to their convo while taking random photos, as i also do, when the man realizes that i’m with the guy he’s trying to chat up in broken English. he decides to do the same with me, except… man: ooh, where are you from? me: Las Vegas. man: no, where?? me: Las Vegas…? America…? *confused as people generally know Las Vegas* man: no no, where are you from long…

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Vesper H.

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random convo with mom #1996

August 13, 2016 / No Comments

me: btw, dad kinda sorta found out that i’m non-binary, queer and asexual but i still don’t know exactly how much he even knows or if he even understands what those words mean. and i dont think he knows that you know, but just thought i’d let you know that he kinda sorta knows something in case he comes to you about it. mom: Well he hasn’t said anything. Ok me: if he does mention it to you… let me know? he always talks to you more than he talks to me, so he’ll probably talk to you about it eventually. mom: Maybe. He may think that I will freak out. me: ….to be fair, you did lol… but yeah, he might not come to you because he doesn’t know that you already know. fair enough. but on the off chance that he does, i’d like to know. you dont have to tell me what he says…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 24.5 Life Update: Tokyo / Asexual Pride + Outted Again + More
June 3, 2014

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Q&A not Q&A: “Do you know the queer artist Ezra Furman?”

August 10, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Do you know the queer artist Ezra Furman? I’m mad about him. i hadn’t heard of him, actually, but i looked him up thanks to this ask. the music style isn’t what i tend to listen to, but i still enjoyed it and the music videos especially (because cinematography as an extension of photography is totally my thing). Ezra Furman is definitely an artist that i recommend others check out. thanks for the heads up, anon! 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Do you have any tips for dealing with an unsupportive family?”

August 10, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Do you have any tips for dealing with an unsupportive family? See, I came out as nb/pan awhile ago and while they weren’t happy they weren’t bad about it. However, me and my father got into a massive fight in which he yelled at me that he’ll never see me as anything other than my agab, and a whole litany of other homophobic and transphobic comments. I haven’t been talking to him because it’s far too painful to do so, but now my mother says I’ve rejected him and am causing too much tension and that I’m tearing the family apart, and that I need to get over it because I’m being selfish. How do I smooth things over with my family, because I don’t want to tear my family apart, and look after myself at the same time? This situation is causing a lot of mental strain.…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
[A]sexuality, [Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

re: …outted again?

August 10, 2016 / No Comments

thanks everyone for the kind, supportive replies to the above post. it means a lot. <3 as a sort of update… i ended up emailing him (because calling would have been too awkward) and finally, after tap dancing around the issue by joking about him spying on me, we had one of those extremely-rare-between-us conversations about something serious. my dad, a man of relatively few words, caught me totally by surprise. me: i saw you followed me on Twitter using a newer account than the old one that had been following me. trying to get back into Twitter? dad: No I just signed back in to the account. Just never looked at it much. That’s all. Is that why you thought I was spying on you? me: ….i was joking but yes. 😛 dad: No I’m not spying sweetheart. And you’re old enough to feel how you want. I’ll always be…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)
July 21, 2013

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…outted again?

August 8, 2016 / No Comments

………that feel when you walk into the staff room in between teaching classes, check your phone and see notifications on Twitter from your dad. your dad, who you’re in no way out to because you barely even talk to him. on Twitter, where one look at your profile totally outs you and links to your extremely personal and queer as all fuck YouTube channel. so not panicking. SO NOT PANICKING. been outted to a parent by social media before. it’s not like i wasn’t prepared for this to happen eventually. it’s not like i haven’t secretly been wanting this to happen because i didn’t feel like actually coming out to him directly. NO PROBLEM. so like…. do i call him now or what because he literally only calls me when there’s been an earthquake or some other disaster (or near disaster) in Japan. that, or it’s my birthday. ……..ugggghh. fucking…

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Vesper H.

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May 17, 2016

QAC 28 – On “Blackness”, Queer Identity & Intersectionality (a rant)
July 14, 2014

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September 15, 2016
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Q&A: “My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else… he just told me he hasnt been telling…”

August 8, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey, I rly just need an outward view. My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else(pretty sure I’m full ace, pan-rom but still figuring that out)&he just told me he hasnt been telling me when he’s had sexual feelings for me because it’s “not a thing you want and I don’t want to feel like an asshole for having sexual feelings.”I explained the difference between attraction&arousal&now he is really not ok with me not having sexual attraction towards him(cause he just realised it maybe?) I have no idea what to do because he can get rly insecure and he has no idea about the pan thing. I’ve mentioned poly things too, not saying I want it but if he did I’d be okay to try it, but he said he’s done if I ever want anything like it. I guess I just feel weird about things…

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Vesper H.

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Re: “”Visibility””
September 18, 2017

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
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Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “All the pronouns in Italian are female and masculine, “it” in Italian doesn’t exist…”

August 4, 2016 / No Comments

johncatwatson said: I have the same problem of the last ask. All the pronouns in Italian are female and masculine, “it” in Italian doesn’t exist. The only alternative I have is say words at masculine way. (re: this post) indeed, Italian does share linguistic problems with French when it comes to gender, although (as you’ve pointed out) unlike French, Italian doesn’t even have a commonly used pronoun for “it”, among other differences. i can only imagine how frustrating that must be. :/ i’m embarrassed to say that i studied Italian for two years in college but know / remember even less of it now than i do French…! nevertheless, i used what i remember to go digging and see what i could find about non-binary anything in Italian and was really disappointed. i don’t know if it’s just my poor language skills, but what i was able to find about non-binary people…

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Vesper H.

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