「やがて君になる」/ “Yagate Kimi ni Naru”: an aro/ace coded, sapphic ‘love story’…?
cw: non-consensual touch and invasion of personal space this past Friday say the TV premiere of 「やがて君になる」 / “Yagate Kimi ni Naru” (“Bloom Into You”), a new anime based on the on-going manga of the same name by 仲谷鳰 / Nio Nakatani. while those who understand Japanese will benefit from the trailer shown above (and here, have another one), continue reading if you’re able to stomach my rudimentary rendition of the basic premise of the anime and what happened in the first episode that has me clinging to my seat in the hope that this particular series may not be your typical 百合 / yuri (sapphic / lesbian) story, but rather an aro/ace coded, mixed orientation ‘love story’. a story about two girls– one an avid reader of romance manga who struggles with having never once experienced for herself the love she reads about, the other having never experienced attraction…
QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009
six months on testosterone and navigating having a (over)active libido (or “sex drive”) to show for it. as an ace, suddenly having to navigate having a high libido for the first time in my life has been…. interesting, to say the least.
landscapes and fissures: navigating ace terminology in Japanese & English
the following post was written for the May 2018 Carnival of Aces on the subject of “Nuance & Complexity“. it may or may not be cleaned up and cross-posted to the YouTube channel Queer As Cat in the future. —— some feel that people in (English-speaking, anglophone) ace communities are “overthinking” things. that the amount of words and identities (also referred to as “microlabels”) which have been coined in such communities is not only “overdoing it,” but even potentially harmful. i’d hope that this would go without saying (but understand that it doesn’t), that i disagree with the former and vehemently reject the latter. regardless of whether i or you or that random person over there petting the stray cat that’s out in the street right now feel such terminology to be useful to us personally, the fact remains that others do and there is immense value in that.
“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
note: this post has been ported over as-is from Tumblr for my own future reference. anonymous submitted: (i had a long question, so, i hope it’s ok to use submit instead of sending multiple asks.) as a disclaimer, i ask this as an ace person who usually just ids as queer ace or grey ace. i’m not asking to be combative or make anyone feel bad.
QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual
i’ve said this before on Tumblr, but it’s time to make it “official” on YouTube: i don’t identify as biromantic or panromantic anymore. in fact, i don’t identify as “-romantic” anything anymore. after years of quietly questioning my experience of so-called “romantic” attraction, all the while trying to navigate spaces which obviously didn’t have someone like me– someone who neither felt comfortable being assumed “[allo]romantic” nor “aromantic”– in mind, i finally opted to discard romantic orientations (for myself) all together. rather, i identify as a bi ace. as a pan ace. although if i’m being honest, more often than not as a queer ace or more simply as “queer”. but what exactly is the difference between “biromantic ace” and “bi ace”? after over a year of having identified as the latter, it seems to me that thanks to amatonormativity and the general normalization of romantic orientations in ace communities, people don’t see…
Q&A: “I share very similar feelings on the topic of asexuality [in Japan]….”
anonymous asked: I share very similar feelings on the topic of asexuality. I am also an asexual living in Japan, and I’m embarrassed to admit that I just recently learned the words and meanings for Aセクシュアル and ノンセクシュアル. Since I am not aromantic, that would mean I’m “nonsexual,” but I feel like the “A”/”ace”/”asexual” word itself is a big part of my identity. I feel a little upset over it. I want to still identify as asexual, but I also don’t want to confuse and have to explain thoroughly everytime. Thoughts? Ty! (for those interested, see: [ these ] [ relevant ] [ posts ] and [ this page ] of links) i felt and still feel the same way, so i just use Aセクシャル / アセクシャル / Aセク and deal with whatever confusion or misunderstanding may eventually result from that on a case-by-case basis. that, or i straight up…
just the one.
as someone who can count on one hand the number of people they’ve ever had intense feelings for over the course of 32 years of this thing called “Life” and still have fingers to spare, can i just say that this whole intense feelings thing is an adjustment? with a learning curve, apparently, because what little past experience i have feels like nothing in comparison, and yet has still managed to do nothing but hinder me in the present. might as well only count the one finger. yes. that finger. because fuck you, ghosts of relationships past that still haunt me to this day.
“Things Asexual People Want You To Know” – BuzzFeed LGBT
i know i’ve mostly been M.I.A. this Asexual Awareness Week, but @buzzfeedlgbt made a really nice video for their Facebook page in celebration of AAW that i was lucky enough to be a part of. check it out, if you haven’t already. browse the comments that people have left at your own risk, however. a huge thank you to Sarah at BuzzFeed LGBT for putting this together and to whoever may have pointed her in my direction. 🙂
Q&A: “How exactly would I ever come out [as asexual] to my parents?”
anonymous said: This is random but haiii , i just wanted to stop by and say you are amazing.. You helped me a lot with my sexuality(Asexual) and I would like to thank you ^~^ but I do have one question.. How exactly would I ever come out to my parents? ohai, anon. thanks for the kind words. 🙂 also, sorry about my slow response, especially if you were hoping for a reply ahead of National Coming Out Day. i can’t tell you how exactly to come out to your parents. the question of if you should even come out at all and if yes, when? how? where? etc is entirely up to you. not everyone comes out to their parents for various reasons and it’s important that you give due consideration as to whether you should come out to yours or not, not just how to do it. remember that…
Q&A: “Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year…”
anonymous said: (part 1/2) Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year but I can’t get anywhere. I’ve always noticed I wasn’t attracted to my partners even before I knew asexuality existed but oddly, it didn’t bothered me or made me question things on the moment. However, I can have fantasies about people I know or celebrities but it never becomes reality. When I have sex with my partners, it’s because I have a libido and I feel emotionally good with them. (part 2/2) I can’t relate with most ace stories since I have fantaisies, a libido and sex. But at the same time, I can’t totally relate either with allosexual way of things. And being bi means I exist in that weird paradox where I can’t draw the line between being attracted to all genders or none. I…
