the ‘Sin City’ asexual
sometimes i think about how growing up in Las Vegas has affected me. usually this is triggered by something reminding me that growing up listening to house & trance music on the radio isn't exactly common, or when i happen to have an occasion-- for whatever reason-- to question my own apparent insensitivity to public displays of nudity, sexual innuendo, etc. even when it comes to more mundane things...
Sixty-six // Thirty-three
One-third of my life. That's how much of my life I've lived outside of America. My so-called "home country."
humbled
it’s always humbling (for me) to be told by someone that something i made / did / said matters to them, but for whatever reason it feels especially… significant? when i’m told it out of the blue offline. i mean, the last thing i expected to happen going into work today was for a coworker, who happened to be in town for an in-house training event, to approach me about having seen me in a BuzzFeed video about asexuality…
…and here we are. again. (cw: homophobia, nsfw)
NYTimes Opinion: “Trump and Putin: A Love Story” This is a three-part series of short satirical video cartoons called “Trump Bites” by Bill Plympton, a two-time Oscar-nominated animator. In Episode Two of “Trump Bites,” above, Mr. Trump’s not-so-secret admiration for President Vladimir Putin of Russia plays out in a teenager’s bedroom, where the fantasies of this forbidden romance come to life. “Trump Bites” is a series of three short video cartoons that combine real Donald Trump audio clips with hand-drawn fantasy animations by Mr. Plympton. The video cartoons riff on Mr. Trump’s absurd utterances to illustrate the president’s tumultuous inner life of paranoia, narcissism and xenophobia [ … ] lying in bed at 1:08am on a Tuesday, scrolling through my Twitter feed, this animation portraying the “forbidden romance” between Trump and Valdimir Putin in which the same-gender status of the ought-be rivals is the entirety of the ‘sick’, ‘edgy’ punchline…
This Is Fine.
in 2015, i wrote a random, word vomit of a post about being “WhenTheStarsAlignHyperRo[mantic]” while offhandedly reflecting back on what little ‘data’ i had to work off of in trying to figure out my own experience of romantic attraction (or lack thereof). it was the first second (in so far as i remember) time i had questioned not being (allo)romantic outside of my head (& journal) while shrugging off identifying as being on the aromantic spectrum.
chronic long-term memory problems…
…is almost like living life like a computer with only a rudimentary, low capacity Hard Disk Drive dedicated to storing what you (might) need in the Here And Now or Imminent Future (short-term memories) and nothing but Random Access Memory for all the rest (long-term memories).
5 years and counting…
it just occurred to me (while porting over more old posts) that Queer As Cat, the YouTube channel, has been a thing for 5 years now as of May 11th. hmm……
my #WakandaForever✊🏿 is not your #WakandaForever✊
so i finally got to see Black Panther again ( #WAKANDAFOREVER AHHHHHH–) and am now at a Starbucks basking in the afterglow of the movie, about to attempt to herd my thoughts into a more coherent cacophony of words than exists in my head at present. wish me luck.
Shit-I-Think-Is-Happening-#BecauseTestosterone Log
blaqueer: blaqueer: blaqueer: blaqueer: content warning: TMI regarding bodily functions & genitals week 1 (62.5mg /2 weeks, injection) exacerbated drowsiness like what oncoming-cold-like throat shenanigans voice in my head sounding like it does when i first wake up, except all day long random, awkward voice cracking when trying to talk over obnoxious teenagers random, inexplicable genital feels random, pre-menstruation-like feels from that arrogant thing called a uterus stairs suddenly became a little less formidable after the injection, but not for all that long. my bladder suddenly isn’t what it used to be– why??? week 2 bladder weirdness is still a thing throat shenanigans are no longer a thing voice cracking still is a thing marginally lower-than-normal speaking voice more easily maintainable; however, without conscious effort, speaking voice remains unchanged downstairs growth hardly noticeable but there began wondering early on into week 2 if all of the T had already been…
anxiety: haha– fuck you.
me: could you maybe NOT make me think about that thing anymore maybe MAYBE? anxiety: did you know that that thing that you THINK you don’t want to think about but are thinking about anyway is a legit thing that you OUGHT to be thinking about– because WHAT IF?? i mean, just think about it! that thing? IT’S A THING. THAT YOU ARE STILL THINKING ABOUT. that thing. fuck.
