inspired by an old blog post and a New Year's meme, i decided to document the last decade of my journey re: identity as a #Black, #Queer, #Nonbinary & #Asexual person in the form of a video...
this may be a gross over-generalization on my part, but generally speaking, there is a lot of silence when it comes to talking about questioning one's identity, changing it or anything else that...
sometimes i think about how growing up in Las Vegas has affected me. usually this is triggered by something reminding me that growing up listening to house & trance music on the radio isn't exactly common, or when i happen to have an occasion-- for whatever reason-- to question my own apparent insensitivity to public displays of nudity, sexual innuendo, etc. even when it comes to more mundane things...
…so, I’ve been reading “The Bisexual Option”, originally published in 1978 by Fritz Klein, in order to write A Thing, when I came across this gem. Feeling personally Called Out by it (who knew 1978 call out culture was so fierce?!) and yet am also not– all at the same time. Either way, feeling the need to put my sardonic lulz here for my own future entertainment. Oh, and no. As interesting as it is at times, I don’t recommend reading the book yourself unless you’re prepared to metaphorically grit your teeth the whole way through. Consider this to be me having read it so that you don’t have to. 🙂 Willing to share my findings with those who are interested, but really I’m just reading the book to critique it zzz…
Happy Asexual Awareness Week! I hope you, reader, are doing well. Last month, I had the pleasure of sitting down with two activists in Japan to shoot this interview about a topic that is pretty dear to me; that is, about the current state of the asexual community in Japan. It goes without saying that everything that’s said in the video is nothing but the experiences and opinions of three people and should NOT be mistaken as being representative of the experiences or opinions of everyone, but at the same time, who better to ask than two of the most active and dedicated people that I know in what is essentially the current hub for ace activity in Japan (Tokyo)? In this 23-minute and 10-question long (bear with me) interview, I sit down with 21 year old YouTuber, ace activist and friend, Nakaken of Seisei Doudou / 性性堂堂, as well…
it’s always humbling (for me) to be told by someone that something i made / did / said matters to them, but for whatever reason it feels especially… significant? when i’m told it out of the blue offline. i mean, the last thing i expected to happen going into work today was for a coworker, who happened to be in town for an in-house training event, to approach me about having seen me in a BuzzFeed video about asexuality…
six months on testosterone and navigating having a (over)active libido (or “sex drive”) to show for it. as an ace, suddenly having to navigate having a high libido for the first time in my life has been…. interesting, to say the least.
cw: rape apologism …so i just had lunch with someone who is essentially a random woman who chased me down at a train station last week because she admired my locs and wanted me to start locs for her. had this woman not been a black woman, had she not been an older black woman, had she not been literally beaming from ear to ear just looking at my locs, so earnest about wanting to start locs herself and having nowhere to turn– had it not been for all those things AND had we not been in Japan, i wouldn’t have given this lady the time of day. especially since she made me miss my train. but she was and we are and so there i was, meeting this over zealous woman at a cafe for lunch because #AfroHairSolidarityInAsia✊? if only the conversation had steered clear of politics, things would have been fine. i…
the more i question whether i was ever actually attracted to men at all– and if so, in what way?– the more i realize that knowing the answers to such questions isn’t particularly pertinent seeing as how i can’t see myself ever choosing to be in an intimate relationship with a man again anyway. still identify as bi and pan (more so bi these days than pan for reasons not entirely related), but my personal definitions of and relationship with these identities has changed, continues to change and will continue to change over the years. and yet my relationship with and identity as queer continues to be the truest and dearest to me of all.
Asexual Awareness Week is a week set aside in October to not only show your pride as an asexual person, but to help raise awareness of asexuality and asexual people. sadly, some of the people who are most in need of increased awareness and resources are those who go unnoticed even within the asexual community itself. it’s no secret that the Asexual Community, particularly in English-speaking countries, has a Whiteness Problem. or at least, i hope that it isn’t. there is more often than not a distinct lack of racial / ethnic diversity in asexual communities and spaces, which is why it ought to surprise no one that there is also a lack of resources and even awareness among fellow aces about the unique and diverse struggles and needs of aces of color. with the bulk of asexual awareness, resources and discourse revolving around white faces and common narratives that…
