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QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual

i’ve said this before on Tumblr, but it’s time to make it “official” on YouTube: i don’t identify as biromantic or panromantic anymore.

in fact, i don’t identify as “-romantic” anything anymore.

after years of quietly questioning my experience of so-called “romantic” attraction, all the while trying to navigate spaces which obviously didn’t have someone like me– someone who neither felt comfortable being assumed “[allo]romantic” nor “aromantic”– in mind, i finally opted to discard romantic orientations (for myself) all together.

rather, i identify as a bi ace. as a pan ace. although if i’m being honest, more often than not as a queer ace or more simply as “queer”.

but what exactly is the difference between “biromantic ace” and “bi ace”? after over a year of having identified as the latter, it seems to me that thanks to amatonormativity and the general normalization of romantic orientations in ace communities, people don’t see any difference between these two identities.

but there is one, at least for me, and i’d appreciate it if people would pause for a second and take notice of it.

CONTROVERSIAL but not really OPINION: ‘the’ asexual community has a problem with amatonormativity.

and if anyone dares to try and turn this around, using it as an example of how the split attraction model is “wrong” or otherwise harmful, i will hunt you down and slap you silly with a cat toy.

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.


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