the ‘Sin City’ asexual
sometimes i think about how growing up in Las Vegas has affected me. usually this is triggered by something reminding me that growing up listening to house & trance music on the radio isn't exactly common, or when i happen to have an occasion-- for whatever reason-- to question my own apparent insensitivity to public displays of nudity, sexual innuendo, etc. even when it comes to more mundane things...
humbled
it’s always humbling (for me) to be told by someone that something i made / did / said matters to them, but for whatever reason it feels especially… significant? when i’m told it out of the blue offline. i mean, the last thing i expected to happen going into work today was for a coworker, who happened to be in town for an in-house training event, to approach me about having seen me in a BuzzFeed video about asexuality…
QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009
six months on testosterone and navigating having a (over)active libido (or “sex drive”) to show for it. as an ace, suddenly having to navigate having a high libido for the first time in my life has been…. interesting, to say the least.
landscapes and fissures: navigating ace terminology in Japanese & English
the following post was written for the May 2018 Carnival of Aces on the subject of “Nuance & Complexity“. it may or may not be cleaned up and cross-posted to the YouTube channel Queer As Cat in the future. —— some feel that people in (English-speaking, anglophone) ace communities are “overthinking” things. that the amount of words and identities (also referred to as “microlabels”) which have been coined in such communities is not only “overdoing it,” but even potentially harmful. i’d hope that this would go without saying (but understand that it doesn’t), that i disagree with the former and vehemently reject the latter. regardless of whether i or you or that random person over there petting the stray cat that’s out in the street right now feel such terminology to be useful to us personally, the fact remains that others do and there is immense value in that.
“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
note: this post has been ported over as-is from Tumblr for my own future reference. anonymous submitted: (i had a long question, so, i hope it’s ok to use submit instead of sending multiple asks.) as a disclaimer, i ask this as an ace person who usually just ids as queer ace or grey ace. i’m not asking to be combative or make anyone feel bad.
QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual
i’ve said this before on Tumblr, but it’s time to make it “official” on YouTube: i don’t identify as biromantic or panromantic anymore. in fact, i don’t identify as “-romantic” anything anymore. after years of quietly questioning my experience of so-called “romantic” attraction, all the while trying to navigate spaces which obviously didn’t have someone like me– someone who neither felt comfortable being assumed “[allo]romantic” nor “aromantic”– in mind, i finally opted to discard romantic orientations (for myself) all together. rather, i identify as a bi ace. as a pan ace. although if i’m being honest, more often than not as a queer ace or more simply as “queer”. but what exactly is the difference between “biromantic ace” and “bi ace”? after over a year of having identified as the latter, it seems to me that thanks to amatonormativity and the general normalization of romantic orientations in ace communities, people don’t see…
Q&A: “I share very similar feelings on the topic of asexuality [in Japan]….”
anonymous asked: I share very similar feelings on the topic of asexuality. I am also an asexual living in Japan, and I’m embarrassed to admit that I just recently learned the words and meanings for Aセクシュアル and ノンセクシュアル. Since I am not aromantic, that would mean I’m “nonsexual,” but I feel like the “A”/”ace”/”asexual” word itself is a big part of my identity. I feel a little upset over it. I want to still identify as asexual, but I also don’t want to confuse and have to explain thoroughly everytime. Thoughts? Ty! (for those interested, see: [ these ] [ relevant ] [ posts ] and [ this page ] of links) i felt and still feel the same way, so i just use Aセクシャル / アセクシャル / Aセク and deal with whatever confusion or misunderstanding may eventually result from that on a case-by-case basis. that, or i straight up…
just the one.
as someone who can count on one hand the number of people they’ve ever had intense feelings for over the course of 32 years of this thing called “Life” and still have fingers to spare, can i just say that this whole intense feelings thing is an adjustment? with a learning curve, apparently, because what little past experience i have feels like nothing in comparison, and yet has still managed to do nothing but hinder me in the present. might as well only count the one finger. yes. that finger. because fuck you, ghosts of relationships past that still haunt me to this day.
“Things Asexual People Want You To Know” – BuzzFeed LGBT
i know i’ve mostly been M.I.A. this Asexual Awareness Week, but @buzzfeedlgbt made a really nice video for their Facebook page in celebration of AAW that i was lucky enough to be a part of. check it out, if you haven’t already. browse the comments that people have left at your own risk, however. a huge thank you to Sarah at BuzzFeed LGBT for putting this together and to whoever may have pointed her in my direction. 🙂
QAC 60 – Race, Culture & [A]sexuality: Support Asexual People Of Color
Asexual Awareness Week is a week set aside in October to not only show your pride as an asexual person, but to help raise awareness of asexuality and asexual people. sadly, some of the people who are most in need of increased awareness and resources are those who go unnoticed even within the asexual community itself. it’s no secret that the Asexual Community, particularly in English-speaking countries, has a Whiteness Problem. or at least, i hope that it isn’t. there is more often than not a distinct lack of racial / ethnic diversity in asexual communities and spaces, which is why it ought to surprise no one that there is also a lack of resources and even awareness among fellow aces about the unique and diverse struggles and needs of aces of color. with the bulk of asexual awareness, resources and discourse revolving around white faces and common narratives that…
