inspired by an old blog post and a New Year's meme, i decided to document the last decade of my journey re: identity as a #Black, #Queer, #Nonbinary & #Asexual person in the form of a video...
this may be a gross over-generalization on my part, but generally speaking, there is a lot of silence when it comes to talking about questioning one's identity, changing it or anything else that...
in 2015, i wrote a random, word vomit of a post about being “WhenTheStarsAlignHyperRo[mantic]” while offhandedly reflecting back on what little ‘data’ i had to work off of in trying to figure out my own experience of romantic attraction (or lack thereof). it was the first second (in so far as i remember) time i had questioned not being (allo)romantic outside of my head (& journal) while shrugging off identifying as being on the aromantic spectrum.
anonymous asked: May I ask you a question? For a long time, I thought that my feelings for a certain someone was platonic, but after reading up some things you wrote (mainly, “romantic = wanting to be as close as possible physically”), I suddenly feel uncertain. I don’t know if I’m having a crush or a squish. The bottom line is that there is this person I’m fond to be with, and want to help out 24/7. I don’t want to be in a relationship with him but tbh I’ll take anything I can. What do you think? hi, anon. sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. you’re more than welcome to ask me a question, although i may not have an answer for you. before i respond with my thoughts regarding your situation, i feel the need to express confusion at having ever said what you’ve…
anonymous said: I stumbled across the term Maverique a few days ago. Before I went w/ the gender I was assigned at birth (cuz ¯_(ツ)_/¯), but the definition just “clicked”. After reading more about it I’m not sure if I can ID that way tho, cuz while I don’t feel genderless, or like a man/woman, I do feel kinda “feminine”, but it’s not like “”””feminine””””, you know? It’s really “me”/innate & unrelated to things outside myself, but feminine as a word still fits, just the concept of feminine is my own. Thoughts? sorry for the slow reply, anon. i’m sorry that my definition of maverique being what it is has caused you to question whether you can identify as maverique or not. my personal stance is that if you feel like ‘maverique’ describes you then it does, even if ‘feminine’ also happens to describe you as well. i’m the last person to…
anonymous said: (part 1/2) Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year but I can’t get anywhere. I’ve always noticed I wasn’t attracted to my partners even before I knew asexuality existed but oddly, it didn’t bothered me or made me question things on the moment. However, I can have fantasies about people I know or celebrities but it never becomes reality. When I have sex with my partners, it’s because I have a libido and I feel emotionally good with them. (part 2/2) I can’t relate with most ace stories since I have fantaisies, a libido and sex. But at the same time, I can’t totally relate either with allosexual way of things. And being bi means I exist in that weird paradox where I can’t draw the line between being attracted to all genders or none. I…
anonymous said: So I have a question. I think I may be asexual. I romanticize the idea of being with a male partner later, but then I’m a maladaptive dreamer. I have issues with trusting people, men specifically. I don’t have any sexual attraction to men, I occasionally get crushes, which are romantic in nature, but never sexual. I do masturbate, but more like a release than actual arousal, Infact I don’t even get aroused that much. Couple moths back I kissed a guy on impulse and it disgusted me. Please help. [ cw: masturbation, arousal mentions ] hello, anon. sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. i don’t know how much help i’ll be as i can’t tell you whether you’re asexual or not (that’s something you’ll ultimately have to decide for yourself), but… someone asked me how to know whether they’re ace or not awhile…
anonymous said: I had a question about maverique. I am genderfluid and I am sometimes a boy, a girl, agender, or bigender but I have another gender that I normally just call yellow because I was uncomfortable with the term gender neutral. Maverique sounds like the perfect description for it. Is it okay to use it when describing my possible genders or does it not coexist with genderfluidity. Thank you! hello, anon. maverique is no different from any other gender in that some maveriques are monogender (ie. only have one gender, that being maverique) while others have or experience multiple genders, one of which is maverique. if you’re comfortable describing yourself as maverique, then by all means please do. know that you don’t need an ‘okay’ from me (or anyone else) to do so, although thanks to you and many others asking, i can say with confidence that you’d be in…
anonymous said: is there a sexuality between straight and bisexual? coz i used to think i’m straight but now i’m a bit attracted to girls??? maybe i’m simply just bi-curious??? if you mean is there a word for being primarily attracted to people that society has decided are “the opposite” gender from you, but occasionally / fleetingly / sporadically / spontaneously being attracted to people society has decided are “the same” gender as you, heteroflexibility, bi-curiosity and bisexuality come to mind. heteroflexibility is probably closest to the word that you’re looking for, but at the same time i hate to see bi-curiosity being dismissed as being “simply just” anything like this. society as a whole has this ridiculous tendency to be dismissive of bi-curiosity and people who feel a tie to this word, with such bullshit quips as “everyone’s a little bi!” similarly, people are quick to decide that someone isn’t bi…
anonymous said: Hi Vesper. So Idk how to put it but I identified as a straight girl my whole life until recently. I’ve been getting attracted to women. I think I’m bi? But I’ve never been attracted to women before so why now? Idk how to feel about this bc I know ppl have discourse about whether you’re born LGBT+ or you can change into it and I’m confused. I’ve never thought about being romantic with women before but right now I’d be totally ok. idk Why all of a sudden. I feel fake idk is this a normal feeling? hi, anon. i’m no expert, but i think it’s safe to say that what you’re experiencing is not uncommon at all. like many things in life, sexuality can change. that is to say that who one is attracted to, the ways in which you experience (or even don’t experience) that…
