Burnt Out & Neurotic: The Toll of Blogging While Ace and Mentally Ill
Over the course of the past few years or so, I've had no choice but to come face-to-face with the fact that I'm not exactly the spitting image of mental health. That, in fact, I never have been, having struggled with persistent depression and social anxiety for years, whether I was conscious of that fact or not. As such, debilitating depression/anxiety isn't new to me. Simultaneous burnout and mental breakdown on account of blogging was, however.
“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
note: this post has been ported over as-is from Tumblr for my own future reference. anonymous submitted: (i had a long question, so, i hope it’s ok to use submit instead of sending multiple asks.) as a disclaimer, i ask this as an ace person who usually just ids as queer ace or grey ace. i’m not asking to be combative or make anyone feel bad.
QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual
i’ve said this before on Tumblr, but it’s time to make it “official” on YouTube: i don’t identify as biromantic or panromantic anymore. in fact, i don’t identify as “-romantic” anything anymore. after years of quietly questioning my experience of so-called “romantic” attraction, all the while trying to navigate spaces which obviously didn’t have someone like me– someone who neither felt comfortable being assumed “[allo]romantic” nor “aromantic”– in mind, i finally opted to discard romantic orientations (for myself) all together. rather, i identify as a bi ace. as a pan ace. although if i’m being honest, more often than not as a queer ace or more simply as “queer”. but what exactly is the difference between “biromantic ace” and “bi ace”? after over a year of having identified as the latter, it seems to me that thanks to amatonormativity and the general normalization of romantic orientations in ace communities, people don’t see…
that feel when no words
that feel when you finally have a use for relationship terminology, but none of it makes sense to you because all of it is predicated on the assumption that you subscribe to the dichotomy of “romantic” vs “[queer]platonic”– not to even mention the equally taxing concept that is “alterous”.
Antiblackness and Binarism: Grindr in Japan
posted with the permission of a friend, the above gem is but one of many examples of antiblack racism, transphobia and binarism that my friend is subjected to regularly on Grindr in Osaka and Tokyo. sharing it here as i often hear of this kind of thing happening on Grindr in English speaking countries, but see little about it beyond that. antiblackness is not unique to America or other English speaking countries, it is universal. and least there be any false assumptions made based on the above example being in English, my friend receives similar messages from non-English speakers in Japanese and has also received such messages during their time living in South Korea. this is Old News that is apparently Breaking News to some, but rest assured it most certainly is not Fake News.
Preference Or Prejudice? | Queer Britain – Episode 4
blaqueer: From a mixed-race household with Middle Eastern and Irish heritage, Riyadh – with his unusual name and fair complexion – knows first-hand how judgemental the gay community online can be. With his perceived ‘white privilege’, he explores the casual racism in the LGBTQ+ community and asks, when does preference become prejudice? Queer Britain is a six-part series, and new episodes will be released each Sunday morning. cw: blatant racism, sexual objectification, explicit genitalia & sex talk… mind your triggers. there was one part of this where i had to pause the video (multiple times) and silently scream streams of expletives. guess when that was. come on, i dare you. suffice it to say that by the time the episode finally moved on from focusing on the gay scene, i was legit relieved. even so, residual silent screaming.
Q&A: “Can a maverique person consider themself man or woman-aligned?”
anonymous said: You may have answered a similar question before, and if so I apologize, it’s possible that I missed it! I was wondering, can a maverique person consider themself man or woman-aligned? And if a person considered themself woman-aligned and maverique, could they consider themself sapphic, or would you say being sapphic is inherently at odds with being maverique? Navigating the recent alignment discourse as a maverique has been rough for me, and I’d like to hear your thoughts. hi, anon. no worries. i’ve answered a similar question before, but not on this blog. check out what i said [ here ] over on @maveriques. i’m afraid that my answer to the question you’ve asked has not changed at all since responding to the linked ask. that said, i’m really sorry to hear that recent aligned terminology (i’m not caught up at all on any related discourse) has been rough…
QAC 60 – Race, Culture & [A]sexuality: Support Asexual People Of Color
Asexual Awareness Week is a week set aside in October to not only show your pride as an asexual person, but to help raise awareness of asexuality and asexual people. sadly, some of the people who are most in need of increased awareness and resources are those who go unnoticed even within the asexual community itself. it’s no secret that the Asexual Community, particularly in English-speaking countries, has a Whiteness Problem. or at least, i hope that it isn’t. there is more often than not a distinct lack of racial / ethnic diversity in asexual communities and spaces, which is why it ought to surprise no one that there is also a lack of resources and even awareness among fellow aces about the unique and diverse struggles and needs of aces of color. with the bulk of asexual awareness, resources and discourse revolving around white faces and common narratives that…
Q&A: “on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating…”
my-minds-matters: queerascat: anonymous said: I just had a eureka moment when looking at your recent reblog of a post on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating… As an aro ace, the whole “love” angle is definitely implicitly exclusionary. The core of my being aro ace is that I DON’T love anyone That Way, and community rhetoric consistently fails to reflect that. Not to mention that I find the “twoo wuv” thing eye-roll-inducing at times. Your thoughts? ( re: this post ) i agree that in addition to ignoring, excluding and / or alienating trans and non-binary people, as pointed out in the OP, such rhetoric also ignores, excludes and alienates those for whom “love” (be it in the traditional, romantic sense or at all) is not a thing– or at least, is not The Thing that defines their connection to the LGBTQIA community. such rhetoric posits love…
Q&A: “…”love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating…”
anonymous said: I just had a eureka moment when looking at your recent reblog of a post on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating… As an aro ace, the whole “love” angle is definitely implicitly exclusionary. The core of my being aro ace is that I DON’T love anyone That Way, and community rhetoric consistently fails to reflect that. Not to mention that I find the “twoo wuv” thing eye-roll-inducing at times. Your thoughts? ( re: this post ) i agree that in addition to ignoring, excluding and / or alienating trans and non-binary people, as pointed out in the OP, such rhetoric also ignores, excludes and alienates those for whom “love” (be it in the traditional, romantic sense or at all) is not a thing– or at least, is not The Thing that defines their connection to the LGBTQIA community. such rhetoric posits love as some…
