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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “I caught your discussion with someone over the way alterous attraction is described, and as someone who IDs as alterous, I’m also actually frustrated with it.”

    April 20, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know this discourse isn’t front and center rn but I caught your discussion with someone over the way alterous attraction is described, and as someone who IDs as alterous, I’m also actually frustrated with it. I hate the “more than friends” thing. I hate “just friends.” I have a QPP I feel platonically attracted to, and I have two romantic partners, but I also have a lot of people that I’m just attracted to on a deeply emotional level and it doesn’t make sense for me as a quoi person to try to distinguish whether it’s romantic or platonic, because it just…is. I really couldn’t tell you how I feel. Trying to label it conventionally (or at all, in most cases) just doesn’t work and feels forced. Alterous is the only descriptor I’ve really found for it. I just wish that the person (people?) describing it were….better at…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    January 4, 2020

    literal “social distancing” from the ace community

    April 1, 2020

    Cosmopolitan: “Everything You Need To Know About Demisexuality”

    March 20, 2017
  • Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I didn’t hurt her, but I don’t know why she cried either?”

    April 19, 2016 / No Comments

    cw: sex mention anonymous said: I (female) had sexy-time with my sort-of-girlfriend and as I thought she was about to have an orgasm, she started crying. Of course I stopped and asked what happened after she calmed down. I didn’t hurt her, but I don’t know why she cried either? that’s something that only she can tell you, but chances are that since she didn’t tell you why when you asked at the time, it may be something that is really hard for her to talk about for various reasons. you could try asking her again, but at the same time you must be understanding if she isn’t able to tell you. apologize for hurting her even if there was no physical pain and do your best to be supportive. reassure her that you’re there for her and that you don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t want to…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i have a question if i’m agender and i like cis girls and genderqueer people…”

    April 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Eyy, i have a question if i’m agender and i like cis girls and genderqueer people… What’s my sexual orientation? yeaaah, putting a name to one’s orientation does get complicated when non-binary people are involved, doesn’t it? that said, i’m afraid i can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is. that’s something that you’ll have to decide. there are non-binary and/or agender people who are attracted to girls and genderqueer people who identify as bi since bi is defined as attraction to two or more genders, but there are also non-binary and/or agender people who experience similar attraction but don’t identify as bi. what matters most is what word / identity feels “right” to you. whatever word / identity that may be, try running with that and see how it feels. you can always change it if it doesn’t feel right. 🙂 sidenote: i’m assuming you have reasons for…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “maverique” v3.0

    June 21, 2014

    QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009

    July 9, 2018

    …mmm, so.

    March 24, 2017
  • Japan[ese],  Mental [Un]health,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “In your experience, does the culture in Japan label asexuals as “otaku”, “shut-ins”, or with mental illness?”

    April 9, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: In your experience, does the culture in Japan label asexuals as “otaku”, “shut-ins”, or with mental illness? Or is there not as much discrimination as there is in the asian-american community? i can’t compare Japanese culture to those of Asian American communities because i’m not Asian American myself, so i can’t comment on what happens within Asian American communities. having said that, in my experience, asexuality is even less heard of in Japan than it is in America. since society for the most part doesn’t even know asexuality is a thing, i myself am not really out outside of LGBTQIA spaces and the majority of the Japanese aces that i know aren’t out outside of LGBTQIA spaces either, i have no experience with and haven’t heard of asexuals in Japan being labeled as such. yes, there certainly is stigma towards “otaku”/オタク (which doesn’t mean the exact same thing…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    『[4コマ]☆Xジェンダー☆』

    July 31, 2016

    Ace & Non-binary Pride @Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2015 (04/26/15)

    May 10, 2015

    Sixty-six // Thirty-three

    December 22, 2018
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have been wondering if I am trans.”

    April 4, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hello Queer as a cat. I have been wondering if I am trans. Since I was younger I prefured guy things and made friends with guys more easily. But ever since ive moved into Highschool. (Im 17) ive got all female friends. I dislike female clothes and will buy from mens section. When I think about being a boy a perfer it but sometimes not as strongly as if “eh im a girl” a part of me feels like I am a boy. I will always say ever since I was a kid”I wish I was a boy” I am very confused. thank you. Same person about questioning gender. I never really thought much about this until learning more about trans and making trans friends hi. 🙂 it’s not uncommon at all for someone to begin actively questioning one’s gender after learning that not everyone identifies as the…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 14 – Anatomy and Gender Presentation

    August 18, 2013

    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I was wondering as an Australian trans how do I get testerone”

    April 1, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey I was wondering as an Australian trans how do I get testerone hi. 🙂 assuming that you live in Australia (because i know lots of Aussies who don’t), here are some links that are relevant for pursuing testosterone in Australia. FTM Australia: Medical Transition FTM Australia: Medical Transition By State Transcend: Transgender Support By State while i don’t personally agree with everything on the FTM Australia site, it seems to have the most straight-forward resources specific to medical transition in Australia, including pursuing testosterone. Transcend’s site is less specific to medical transition, but it still may have links to state-specific resources that may be helpful for pursuing testosterone. sorry i can’t help more. good luck! 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    gender non-conformity sure does make for good entertainment for cis people, huh Japan?

    April 25, 2016

    spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV

    February 21, 2015

    QAC 27 – Goodbye Neutrois, Hello Maverique (ie. me changing labels)

    July 7, 2014
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying.”

    March 29, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying. I don’t know if I want to label myself but I feel like I have to for the people surrounding me. Let me not have a label if I don’t want to. Let me live. I don’t know where to go from now. anon, you most certainly don’t have to label yourself and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being sure of your sexuality or anything else in life. even if others are obnoxious enough to try and co-pilot or even hijack it, the fact is that you are in control of your life and identity. you and only you. what you do from here is entirely up to you. hell, you don’t even have to do anything at all if you don’t want to. discovering something new about yourself can certainly be terrifying, especially at…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    fuck your Oppression Olympics

    September 15, 2016

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014

    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms…”

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I just watched your new video on being non-binary and ace. When I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms there were more strong and rigid. I identify as mostly a girl but in Italy there is so much open hypersexualization of black women. I wanted to be completely invisible,masculine, and felt way more asexual and dysphoric than in America. Do you experience these changes in intensity when you travel?   oh my god yes. a million times yes. gender norms, like social norms in general, are very much tied to culture, which means that they differ from culture to culture. on top of that, when you’re immersed in a culture that’s different from your own, the differences can exacerbate how one feels about the norms of the culture you’re immersed in… while…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Is it possible to become asexual as you get older?”

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it possible to become asexual as you get older? Like when I started puberty my hormones were through the roof so I’d masturbate but I don’t think I’ve ever really liked sex? It just doesn’t seem necessary or pleasing to me :s hi, anon. 🙂 a person’s sexuality can certainly change overtime. it’s worth noting, though, that horniness (or lack there of) has more to do with sex drive or libido than it has to do with one’s sexual orientation. anyone of any sexual orientation can have a low libido just as anyone of any sexual orientation can have a high libido, even an asexual person. in other words, your sexuality very well may have changed, but you could also be an asexual who just so happens to have (or have had) a libido and masturbates (or masturbated). even one’s libido can change without one’s sexual orientation…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017

    パレードの皆さん、お疲れ

    April 26, 2015

    ?Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup

    April 29, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago but…”

    March 27, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago. but in the past few months i’ve been realizing that i may not be asexual. i don’t know what i am and i don’t want to label it just yet. i also want to tell my friends, but i feel like they’re getting tired of me saying different things (i came out as bi, then ace & trans, then this) and that there’s no point in me saying anything if i don’t even know what i am. i want to say something, but i don’t even know if i should. hi, anon. if you want to say something to your friends, then i think you should? there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just flat out saying that you’re not sure how you feel and/or that you’re questioning. that you’re continuously learning and discovering things about…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016

    パレードの皆さん、お疲れ

    April 26, 2015

    romantic orientation pride

    May 29, 2013
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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