Q&A not Q&A: “I caught your discussion with someone over the way alterous attraction is described, and as someone who IDs as alterous, I’m also actually frustrated with it.”

anonymous said:

I know this discourse isn’t front and center rn but I caught your discussion with someone over the way alterous attraction is described, and as someone who IDs as alterous, I’m also actually frustrated with it. I hate the “more than friends” thing. I hate “just friends.” I have a QPP I feel platonically attracted to, and I have two romantic partners, but I also have a lot of people that I’m just attracted to on a deeply emotional level and it doesn’t make sense for me as a quoi person to try to distinguish whether it’s romantic or platonic, because it just…is. I really couldn’t tell you how I feel. Trying to label it conventionally (or at all, in most cases) just doesn’t work and feels forced. Alterous is the only descriptor I’ve really found for it. I just wish that the person (people?) describing it were….better at it. >>;; Because it even makes me feel left out.

(re: this post)

yeah… i know the people in question are doing their best to describe the type of attraction that’s recently been referred to as alterous attraction within the aro community. we’re all doing the best we can to describe something that’s really difficult to put into words.

personally, i just wish that there was more mindfulness of others’ feelings and experiences while describing types of attraction. i feel like a severe lack of that was the biggest problem with the discussion that happened thanks to that previous post of mine.