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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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Twitter

My Tweets

Instagram

  • 「迷い道」 . ...i really miss the 雰囲気 of urban jungles like Tokyo... ;( . . . . . . . . #tokyo #japan #igersjp #urbanexploration #urbanphotography #urbanjungle #citylife #citylights #nightlife #cityview #bw_captures #bw_lover #bnw_society #bnwmood #bnw_captures #新橋 #東京 #光 #夜景 #モノクロ #白黒
  • Hitachinaka Matsuri 2018 . i think this was the last 祭り/festival that i got to see before leaving Japan... but at least i got to see it with @nonbinaryish.
  • STORMcell . . . . . . . . . . . . #clouds #cloudscape #storm #weather #sky #ig_skylovers #instasky #instaclouds #blackandwhite #bnwmood #bw_captures #bnw_society #bw_photooftheday #yokohama #桜木町 #横浜 #モノクロ #白黒
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Black[ness],  Queer[ness]

    “too butch.”

    April 29, 2019 / 8 Comments

    as the clock counts down to me sitting in a hairstylist's chair to get my hair chopped off—a clock that started its countdown years ago in my head, but has only recently been given a definitive calendar date of May 18th, 2019—i've on-and-off made an effort to help my mom 'get over it.'

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    September 23, 2016

    QAC 31 – Relationships… Meh.

    November 17, 2014

    Starbucks wifi censorship

    January 2, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 72 – Outted To Religious Mom: 4 Years Later | HRT | Non-Binary Relationship || #ItGetsBetter?

    September 18, 2018 / No Comments

    in 2014, YouTube outted me to my mom and she’s struggled to understand, let alone accept my sexuality and gender ever since. four years later, things are still touch-and-go when mom finds out that i’m on testosterone and in what she perceives to be a “lesbian relationship”… does her head implode yet again? #ItGetsBetter, they said. well, at this point i have zero fucks to give either way, buuttt i made this #LifeUpdate / #StoryTime video for you anyway. consider this me being ‘officially’ back from being MIA / AFK, i suppose.

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

    October 23, 2016

    Antiblackness and Binarism: Grindr in Japan

    January 6, 2018

    …mmm, so.

    March 24, 2017
  • [Random] Thoughts

    Re: Q&A not Q&A: “There’s a shoutout to you…”

    November 15, 2017 / No Comments

    queerascat: i was not, but i am now. thanks! *goes to Facebook* *thanks the artist* *sends the comic to mom* *waits for usual passive aggressive remar– goes to bed instead* did i call it or what? of course she went the route of trying to guilt me for the fact that she bought me tickets ‘home’ for the holidays, despite the fact that she knows good and well that i don’t exactly want to ‘come home’ for the holidays to begin with. “…come home to see the family that you love–” lolololol look at that sarcasm right there. so passive. much aggressive. such my life.

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    Vesper H.

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    …so. selfies.

    February 15, 2015

    adventures in Japanese TV: “haafu”

    September 1, 2016

    IF {subcommunity building} THEN {…?}

    March 11, 2019
  • [Random] Thoughts

    …phone calls.

    February 8, 2017 / No Comments

    …i’d seen a post or two come across my dashboard related to what i’m about to go off about, but i never imagined that something like this would target me or my family. oh, how naive of me. anyway, i’m simultaneously pissed off, frustrated and worried and Twitter isn’t enough to contain these feels right now. on my way to work today i random get a message from mom saying “Have you been saying things that you shouldn’t say online? The government is monitoring you.” of course i’m like “whaaaat the fuck you talking about, mom?” my mom is no “conspiracy theorist”, but she did live through shit that you read about in textbooks and given the shit going on in America these days, there is immediate cause for alarm when those words come from her. apparently people claiming to be a ““research group”” (who won’t / haven’t told her an actual…

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    Vesper H.

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    …so. selfies.

    February 15, 2015

    willpower, sweat, and tears

    January 30, 2020

    本の紹介:「Xジェンダーって何?」

    October 4, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts

    random convo with mom #1996

    August 13, 2016 / No Comments

    me: btw, dad kinda sorta found out that i’m non-binary, queer and asexual but i still don’t know exactly how much he even knows or if he even understands what those words mean. and i dont think he knows that you know, but just thought i’d let you know that he kinda sorta knows something in case he comes to you about it. mom: Well he hasn’t said anything. Ok me: if he does mention it to you… let me know? he always talks to you more than he talks to me, so he’ll probably talk to you about it eventually. mom: Maybe. He may think that I will freak out. me: ….to be fair, you did lol… but yeah, he might not come to you because he doesn’t know that you already know. fair enough. but on the off chance that he does, i’d like to know. you dont have to tell me what he says…

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    Vesper H.

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    missiles and tweets.

    August 28, 2017

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    June 26, 2014

    QAC 75 – Questioning In Silence?: Identity | Self-Discovery | Stigma || Random Thoughts

    February 27, 2019
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    the trauma i never knew i had: navigating childhood trauma 29 years after the fact

    July 1, 2016 / No Comments

    content warning: explicit talk of childhood sexual abuse & religous trauma without going into detail; explicit mentions of acephobia, biphobia, homophobia this is one of two posts that i’m going to (hopefully) post on the topic of sexual abuse / violence and consent issues. this specific post is a submission to @resourcesforacesurvivors​‘ series on Intersectional Ace Survivor Stories and pertains to navigating childhood trauma and religious family as a not-so-young-anymore black, non-binary, bi / pan asexual. while i have talked briefly about the topic of this post in a video, for the most part the experiences discussed in both posts are ones that i’m only just now sitting down and thinking about. please bear with me as i try to put things into words. i’ll be honest with you. i’m extremely hesitant about posting this or drawing any kind of connection between myself and sexual abuse. why? well, for one, my online…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    January 4, 2020

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    June 22, 2016

    QAC 01 – Introduction

    May 11, 2013
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 45 – Forced Out of the Closet: 2 Years Later | Coming Out Again (Non-Binary Bi / Pan Asexual)

    January 26, 2016 / No Comments

    it’s been 2 years since i was forced out of the closet by my mom; it’s been 5 months since my last video about how things are going with my family. this video is long, but it’s also long overdue. the past 5 months have been an emotional roller coaster. from breaking off communication with my mom, to coming out to my sister as bi / panromantic, to being met with further attempts at invalidation, to being “home” for the holidays, to coming out as non-binary to my sister, to FINALLY being referred to by my real name…. 2 years later, things are finally looking up. kind of. only time will tell what 2016 will bring. TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse & child abuse with a time jump point in the video itself so you can safely watch and skip the trigger. […] long video is long, but that’s what…

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    Vesper H.

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    January 10, 2019
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    on today’s episode of #ConversationsWithMom….!

    November 28, 2015 / No Comments

    ….so i just had another one of those crazy conversations with my mom (and my sister who was eavesdropping and repeatedly butting in) about sexuality that stemmed from her finally watching a documentary that i’d sent her about LGBTQ people in the black church. i mean seriously, it lasted over an hour and was all over damn place, so i’m not going to try to rehash what was actually said, but the highlights were: mom is still of the mindset that sexual orientation is a choice. she refuses to distinguish between sexual attraction (i used the word “chemistry” with her because she seemed to get that) and sexual behavior/actions one decides to take (or not take). ugh. both mom and my sister think that “everyone is bisexual” because everyone could choose to have sex with someone of the same gender if they wanted to. bi erasure runs in my family, apparently. mom…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Re: Tokyo Ace Meetup

    April 5, 2015

    DIY ace flag, anyone?

    May 6, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts

    cautious optimism: yet another conversation with mom

    September 27, 2015 / No Comments

    for those who don’t know, i stopped talking to my mom back in July. the situation with my mom evolved over a long period of time and i’ve talked about it twice on YouTube. [ 1 + 2 ] well, today i want to say extremely tentatively that it seems like some progress has been made in terms of restarting our relationship. i’m trying really, really hard not to be overly optimistic because if i’m wrong and things fall apart again, it will hurt all the more if i let my guard down and allow myself to be happy now. (tl;dr below) in recent weeks prior to today mom has made attempts at contacting me with such conversation starters as “help me understand.”, “what is it you want me to say?” and “i’m taking your sister to the ER so i thought i’d message you (ie: please talk to me).” aside…

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    Vesper H.

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    This Is Fine.

    July 14, 2018

    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    …in which i stopped talking to my mom

    July 12, 2015 / No Comments

    not sure where to start with this post… i can’t backtrack enough to even possibly cover all the things that lead up to where i’m at now. so i’ve been “out” to my mom as a non-binary, pan/biromantic asexual for a year and a half now. a few weeks ago i made a vlog about it, talking about… well, how mom has made very little-to-no progress in regards to accepting or understanding who i am and how much that hurts. i won’t go into details because the details can be found in the vlog. shortly after making that vlog (as in literally days later) a belated birthday card from mom came in the mail. i made this post about it, which you should read for the sake of context. after receiving that response from mom, i muted notifications from her and haven’t spoken to her since. literally since before this…

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    Vesper H.

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    November 20, 2016

    story time: when “African” is more important than “American”

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    February 21, 2015
12

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

Categories

Time Machine

Tags

ace anon aromantic asexual asexuality asks bi feedback gender gender identity genderqueer identity intersectionality intracommunity issues i rant when i'm tired japan LGBT lgbt in Japan LGBTQIA life in japan maverique me non-binary nonbinary in Japan opinion personal problematic things QPOC queer questioning random thoughts sexuality stuff i made terminology this has been a Vesper original this is my life tired Vesper is tired trans transgender vlog Xジェンダー youtube セクマイ 外人の目から見た日本 日本

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Instagram

  • Hitachinaka Matsuri 2018 . i think this was the last 祭り/festival that i got to see before leaving Japan... but at least i got to see it with @nonbinaryish.
  • STORMcell . . . . . . . . . . . . #clouds #cloudscape #storm #weather #sky #ig_skylovers #instasky #instaclouds #blackandwhite #bnwmood #bw_captures #bnw_society #bw_photooftheday #yokohama #桜木町 #横浜 #モノクロ #白黒
  • 「迷い道」 . ...i really miss the 雰囲気 of urban jungles like Tokyo... ;( . . . . . . . . #tokyo #japan #igersjp #urbanexploration #urbanphotography #urbanjungle #citylife #citylights #nightlife #cityview #bw_captures #bw_lover #bnw_society #bnwmood #bnw_captures #新橋 #東京 #光 #夜景 #モノクロ #白黒
  • Z i G . . . . . . . . . . #urbanexploration #urbanphotography #stairs #geometric #lines #shapes #minimalism #grainisgood #bnw_society #bw_captures #bnwphoto #bw_lover #bnw_zone #階段 #散歩 #お出かけ #モノクロ #白黒
  • 六本木ヒルズからの雰囲気 . . . . . . . . . . #roppongi #roppongihills #cityscape #skyline #tokyo #tokyotower #citylife #tokyolife #contrast #bnwmood #bnw_society #bw_lover #blackandwhitephotographylovers #instablackandwhite #bw_photooftheday #blackandwhite #igersjp #六本木ヒルズ #六本木ヒルズ展望台 #東京 #上から目線 #東京タワー #モノクロ #白黒
  • "Changing Rooms" by Leandro Erlich . . . . . . . . . . . #moriartmuseum #leandroerlich #dressingroomselfie #changingroom #mirrors #artappreciation #exhibition #iloveart #bnwmood #bnw_society #bw_lover #blackandwhitephotographylovers #instablackandwhite #bw_photooftheday #blackandwhite #igersjp #鏡 #アート #美術館 #モノクロ #白黒
  • "Pulled by the Roots" by Leandro Erlich . . . . . . . . . . . #moriartmuseum #leandroerlich #house #roots #sculpture #artappreciation #exhibition #iloveart #bnwmood #bnw_society #bw_lover #blackandwhitephotographylovers #instablackandwhite #bw_photooftheday #blackandwhite #igersjp #家 #アート #美術館 #モノクロ #白黒
  • "The Room (Surveillance I)" by Leandro Erlich . . . . . . . . . . . #moriartmuseum #leandroerlich #perspective #surveillance #mirrors #artappreciation #exhibition #iloveart #bnwmood #bnw_society #bw_lover #blackandwhitephotographylovers #instablackandwhite #bw_photooftheday #blackandwhite #igersjp #部屋 #アート #美術館 #モノクロ #白黒

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