….so i just had another one of those crazy conversations with my mom (and my sister who was eavesdropping and repeatedly butting in) about sexuality that stemmed from her finally watching a documentary that i’d sent her about LGBTQ people in the black church. i mean seriously, it lasted over an hour and was all over damn place, so i’m not going to try to rehash what was actually said, but the highlights were:
- mom is still of the mindset that sexual orientation is a choice. she refuses to distinguish between sexual attraction (i used the word “chemistry” with her because she seemed to get that) and sexual behavior/actions one decides to take (or not take). ugh.
- both mom and my sister think that “everyone is bisexual” because everyone could choose to have sex with someone of the same gender if they wanted to. bi erasure runs in my family, apparently.
- mom also pulled the “i’m abstinent but i don’t choose to identify as asexual” line straight out of the books on “Misconceptions About Asexuality” and “Why Do You Have To Label Yourself?”
but wait, this one takes the cake.
- because of something that was said in the documentary, mom decided to just now tell me at 30 years old about something that was done to me when i was around 1 years old (that i consequentially have no memory of) because now she thinks that that may have made me asexual??
i swear, my mom is something else. just when i start thinking that there’s some hope for her, she says something to let me know that i’m letting optimism get the better of me.