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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Okay so I have a question about sexuality preferences.”

    June 29, 2015 / No Comments

    sorryitsluz said: Okay so I have a question about sexuality preferences. I’ve always been attracted to males (I’m female btw) in both romantic way and a sexual way. I see myself with a male ya know? But lately I’ve realized that I also began to get an interest in females. Although it’s not the same as the interest I have in males. I don’t feel like I would have sex with a female but I do like them and feel like I would flirt/go over just a friendship. Could you help describe this please??   hi.. 🙂 i have a vague idea of what you’re trying to describe, but at the same time i don’t understand enough to be specific in helping you. rather than me trying to put words to something that i’m not personally experiencing, i think it would be better if i gave you resources to help…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “what does it mean when people identify as bi/pan or poly/pan or any other combination like that?”

    June 23, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Im sorry if this is a dumb question, but what does it mean when people identify as bi/pan or poly/pan or any other combination like that. Is it like romantically they’re pan and sexually they’re bi, vice versa. Or is it something like they fall along somewhere between the two? I don’t know if I worded this clearly, I’m really curious and confused. Thank you for your time, you have a great blog btw.   there is an infinite number of reasons why someone might identify as/with more than one orientation at the same time. for example, having a sexual orientation that differs from their romantic/etc orientation feeling like those orientations equally describe who they are feeling like a combination of those orientations feeling somewhere in between those orientations having a fluid sexuality that shifts between those orientations having a desire to be visible as a member of…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “to be sexually attracted to someone, do you necessarily have to fantasize about…?”

    April 13, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m sorry if this is dumb, but I’ve always been confused about the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. To be sexually attracted to someone, do you necessarily have to fantasize about partaking in sexual acts with that person? I’m wondering because I have never been attracted to sex or anything related to sex. I don’t think I’ll ever have sexual fantasies about anyone, and my disinterest in sex has nothing to do with my religious or moral beliefs. Is this normal?   anon, i feel like you’re asking the wrong person this question since i’ve never even experienced sexual attraction myself lol….. based on my understanding of sexual attraction, what you’ve described (fantasizing about partaking in sexual acts with someone) may be a part of sexual attraction for some people, yes. however, someone can fantasize about partaking in sexual acts without actually wanting to partake in such…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I’ve always had a fascination for both sexes and just came to terms about dating a transgender… I’m thinking that I’m pansexual?”

    April 1, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’ve been conflicted about my sexuality (again) lately. It started a couple weeks ago when I was talking to a friend and she made a comment about something I said. Normally I would’ve brushed it off (because people’ve always thought I was gay), but I guess it was good timing? I’ve always had a fascination for both sexes, and I just came to terms about dating a transgender, and now I’m thinking that I’m pansexual? I’ve been trying to stay away from dating women (I’m female) because of my parents. I’m a 17 year old female, don’t know if I added that The anon talking about the pansexuality dilemma I’ve also never dated anyone before (no one’s legitimately asked me out before). I’m so sorry for spamming you I’ll stop now- have a nice day (Anon from the age and pansexuality thing) hello anon, before i delve into…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015 / No Comments

    trigger warning: body negativity, gender dysphoria, hints of self-harm, cursing a rant about my own negative body image and how that body image intersects with my identity as a black non-binary asexual. i touch upon a lot in this long video, so for your ease of viewing: ====== Time Points ======== @00:00 – introduction @00:57 – dismissal of my body issues @02:18 – height and dysphoria @05:08 – having lordosis and being misgendered @09:53 – hypersexualization of my butt as a black non-binary ace @12:44 – hypersexualization of my lips as a black non-binary ace @13:27 – self-destructive habits: lip picking @15:33 – hating my natural hair @19:00 – body modification and body positivity @21:16 – i’d love to hear from you ======================== “awkward but necessary” pretty much sums up this video.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV

    February 21, 2015

    the ‘Sin City’ asexual

    January 10, 2019
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    sexnormativity

    January 12, 2015 / 2 Comments

    like “heteronormativity” and “amatornormativity”, can we please make “sexnormativity” a thing? simply put: sexnormativity: the assumption that sexual attraction and/or a desire for sex is a universal trait that everyone shares. the ace community has long since been battling sexnormativity as it plays a large role in a/acephobia. however, aces are not the only ones suffering from sexnormativity. people who are repulsed by and/or adverse to sex people with “low”/”high” libidos teenagers young adults seniors survivors of sexual assault/abuse and so many more literally anyone and probably everyone is affected by sexnormativity to some degree or another at some point in their life because sexnormativity ties into so many things: peer pressure, stereotypes, hypersexualization, desexualization, heteronormativity, amatonormativity, slut-shaming, victim blaming, trauma invalidation, erasure, parental/familial expectations and the list goes on. awareness and discussion of sexnormativity needs to go beyond the confines of the ace community. please let this be a thing that the world is made…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual

    March 12, 2018

    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017

    DIY ace flag, anyone?

    May 6, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014 / No Comments

    a blurb about labels, their importance and why i use them. because i talk too damn much: @00:00 – update about my mom @00:52 – labels: more than just identity @05:22 – labels can suck @07:08 – why labels are important & why i use them i’m a little crazy in the beginning, but i swear i start making sense towards the end. ;(  

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    Vesper H.

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    my collection…

    March 7, 2013

    QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)

    July 21, 2013

    🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA

    January 4, 2020
  • [A]sexuality,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 19 – Asexuality: An FAQ

    October 25, 2013 / No Comments

    in honor of Asexual Awareness Week (Oct. 20th – 26th, 2013) i decided to attempt to make a video to help raise awareness about asexuality. the FAQ includes: @00:56  – what is asexuality? @01:12  – isn’t that celibacy? @01:42  – maybe you should get your hormones checked? @02:38  – isn’t asexuality unnatural? @04:27  – so if you’re asexual you’re a virgin/never want sex? @05:49  – how can you know if you’ve never had sex?@06:57  – do asexuals masturbate? @07:46  – i have a low/high sex drive. could i still be asexual? @09:04  – do asexuals never fall in love? @09:51  – what are other types of attraction? @11:38  – what if someone rarely experiences sexual attraction or only experiences it under certain circumstances? @12:45 – where can i find out more? please note that the content of this video is just MY personal answer to various questions and i most…

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    Vesper H.

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    Studio Ghibli’s 『思い出のマーニー』 // “When Marnie Was There”

    August 11, 2014

    custom shirt

    October 13, 2013

    QAC 39 – Biromantic + Panromantic Pride! | Being Both Bi & Pan

    September 23, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet

    August 11, 2013 / No Comments

    in this video i talk about how i’ve come to the conclusion that i won’t ever be coming out to my mom. at least, not intentionally.

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015

    QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

    October 23, 2016

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)

    July 21, 2013 / No Comments

    as a followup to QAC 02 – The Road to Asexuality, this video “briefly” covers my childhood and what brought me to questioning whether or not i was asexual in the first place. it should probably be noted that i am what some aces call a “non-libidoist” asexual. that is, in addition to being asexual (ie. not experiencing sexual attraction), i also happen to not experience a libido/sex drive. not having a libido/sex drive should NOT be confused with asexuality , which is simply a lack of sexual attraction. some asexuals do experience an active sex drive/libido, while others do not. either way, my lack of libido/sex drive is just something that happened alongside my asexuality; it isn’t what makes me asexual……

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    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    AskAPan Week 08 – How I Discovered Pansexuality / Panromanticism

    July 12, 2013

    Documentary Explores The Reality Of Being Black And Gay In The Church

    November 14, 2015

    QAC 02 – The Road to Asexuality

    May 17, 2013
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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