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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i am agender, but also a girl, simulaneously and constantly.”

    May 2, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: i am agender, but also a girl, simulaneously and constantly. im nervous about telling people this because i dont want them to tell me i cant be be angender AND a girl. i usually just say im nonbinary but specifically im an agender girl. is this okay? of course it’s okay, anon. you aren’t obligated to tell anyone anything about your genders to begin with. if you do choose to tell someone something, it’s entirely up to you what / how much you tell them. in fact, i’m pretty sure that a lot of people come out as non-binary and leave it at that sometimes, not because they don’t identify as a more specific gender (or genders) but just because they don’t want to have to deal with people’s negative reactions or questions. there is absolutely nothing wrong with simplifying or selectively choosing what you tell people because…

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    Vesper H.

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    “yellow as a maverique”

    June 25, 2014

    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “ive been id-ing as genderqueer for a while now bc i know im not a girl or a boy…”

    April 28, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: ive been id-ing as genderqueer for a while now bc i know im not a girl or a boy and i definitely have a gender but i dont know what? and ive been very confused on presentation lately bc i want to be understood with an underlying masculinity but wear feminine stuff and im just kinda??? its just very confusing and im very lost hi, anon. 🙂 i understand that feeling confused and lost sucks, but really it’s okay. it’s okay to be confused. it’s okay to not know what your gender is. it’s okay to not be sure how you want to present yourself. it’s okay to not be sure how to achieve how you want to present yourself. it’s okay to not know how your presentation relates to your gender, if it even does at all. as much as being confused and lost sucks, it is…

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    Vesper H.

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    CNN: “Trying to Find Love as a Trans Man”

    March 20, 2017

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016

    photos from Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)

    May 7, 2014
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I am a Muslim who wears hijab and I wanted to know if I have the right to use the label genderfluid to describe myself?”

    April 27, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I am a Muslim who wears hijab and I wanted to know if I have the right to use the label genderfluid to describe myself? Even though I identify as either male, female, androgynous or something else, I am AFAB and have always presented myself as female, so does this sort of question the validity of my claim as genderfluid? Because I wear hijab all the time, I feel like I can’t claim to be anything but female as many people see hijab as a gender indicator rather than as a religious concept? anon, you have every right to identify as whatever feels comfortable or right to you. how you present yourself neither validates nor invalidates your identity, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. gender identity is one thing, gender (or self) expression is another. for some people, these two things happen to coincide with one…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 05 – Gender Blurb: Neutrois?

    May 29, 2013

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015

    genderfuck

    February 7, 2013
  • Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Is there a word for non-binary in Japanese that you know of?”

    April 26, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m going to be moving to Japan in a couple of months for work, and I am non-binary. Is there a word for non-binary in Japanese that you know of? Also, I usually use 私 in school/professional settings but I tend to use 僕 and more masculine language around my friends that know Japanese. Is it advisable to use pronouns like this or should I just use female pronouns even though I barely identify with female? I will probably be in a fairly rural area. (would you mind tagging as w so i can find?) hi and welcome to Japan in advance. 🙂 Xジェンダー / x-gender is the Japanese equivalent of non-binary. just as with the word non-binary in English speaking countries, the majority of people in Japan will have never heard of the word Xジェンダー unless you’re in trans friendly / aware spaces. the word exists and…

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    Vesper H.

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    spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV

    February 21, 2015

    …the things i do to not be a ひきこもり (その①)

    March 11, 2016

    『[4コマ]☆Xジェンダー☆』

    July 31, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “I caught your discussion with someone over the way alterous attraction is described, and as someone who IDs as alterous, I’m also actually frustrated with it.”

    April 20, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know this discourse isn’t front and center rn but I caught your discussion with someone over the way alterous attraction is described, and as someone who IDs as alterous, I’m also actually frustrated with it. I hate the “more than friends” thing. I hate “just friends.” I have a QPP I feel platonically attracted to, and I have two romantic partners, but I also have a lot of people that I’m just attracted to on a deeply emotional level and it doesn’t make sense for me as a quoi person to try to distinguish whether it’s romantic or platonic, because it just…is. I really couldn’t tell you how I feel. Trying to label it conventionally (or at all, in most cases) just doesn’t work and feels forced. Alterous is the only descriptor I’ve really found for it. I just wish that the person (people?) describing it were….better at…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

    October 23, 2016

    『[4コマ]☆ノンセクシュアル☆』

    May 25, 2016

    QAC 72 – Outted To Religious Mom: 4 Years Later | HRT | Non-Binary Relationship || #ItGetsBetter?

    September 18, 2018
  • Japan[ese],  Mental [Un]health,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “In your experience, does the culture in Japan label asexuals as “otaku”, “shut-ins”, or with mental illness?”

    April 9, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: In your experience, does the culture in Japan label asexuals as “otaku”, “shut-ins”, or with mental illness? Or is there not as much discrimination as there is in the asian-american community? i can’t compare Japanese culture to those of Asian American communities because i’m not Asian American myself, so i can’t comment on what happens within Asian American communities. having said that, in my experience, asexuality is even less heard of in Japan than it is in America. since society for the most part doesn’t even know asexuality is a thing, i myself am not really out outside of LGBTQIA spaces and the majority of the Japanese aces that i know aren’t out outside of LGBTQIA spaces either, i have no experience with and haven’t heard of asexuals in Japan being labeled as such. yes, there certainly is stigma towards “otaku”/オタク (which doesn’t mean the exact same thing…

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    Vesper H.

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    tfw TERFs.

    March 1, 2017

    QAC 16.5 – Life Update: Japan & Channel Changes

    September 16, 2013

    adventures in Japanese TV: “haafu”

    September 1, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying.”

    March 29, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying. I don’t know if I want to label myself but I feel like I have to for the people surrounding me. Let me not have a label if I don’t want to. Let me live. I don’t know where to go from now. anon, you most certainly don’t have to label yourself and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being sure of your sexuality or anything else in life. even if others are obnoxious enough to try and co-pilot or even hijack it, the fact is that you are in control of your life and identity. you and only you. what you do from here is entirely up to you. hell, you don’t even have to do anything at all if you don’t want to. discovering something new about yourself can certainly be terrifying, especially at…

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    Vesper H.

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    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016

    「私はゲイ」自分の言葉で、自分を語る / “I’m Gay” – Talking About Myself By Myself: Gay men talk about their own identity.

    May 6, 2016

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    non-binary gender norms & (a)sexuality: yeah, no.

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    the following post was originally a vlog that was submitted for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost for more information. a lot of people feel like there is a connection between one’s gender and sexuality, be it in the form of gender roles, “gender presentation”, sexual attraction (or lack thereof) et cetera ad infinitum. having said that, i’m not going to lie… i really don’t get it.

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    Vesper H.

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    Re: Tokyo Ace Meetup

    April 5, 2015

    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017

    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms…”

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I just watched your new video on being non-binary and ace. When I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms there were more strong and rigid. I identify as mostly a girl but in Italy there is so much open hypersexualization of black women. I wanted to be completely invisible,masculine, and felt way more asexual and dysphoric than in America. Do you experience these changes in intensity when you travel?   oh my god yes. a million times yes. gender norms, like social norms in general, are very much tied to culture, which means that they differ from culture to culture. on top of that, when you’re immersed in a culture that’s different from your own, the differences can exacerbate how one feels about the norms of the culture you’re immersed in… while…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Is it possible to become asexual as you get older?”

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it possible to become asexual as you get older? Like when I started puberty my hormones were through the roof so I’d masturbate but I don’t think I’ve ever really liked sex? It just doesn’t seem necessary or pleasing to me :s hi, anon. 🙂 a person’s sexuality can certainly change overtime. it’s worth noting, though, that horniness (or lack there of) has more to do with sex drive or libido than it has to do with one’s sexual orientation. anyone of any sexual orientation can have a low libido just as anyone of any sexual orientation can have a high libido, even an asexual person. in other words, your sexuality very well may have changed, but you could also be an asexual who just so happens to have (or have had) a libido and masturbates (or masturbated). even one’s libido can change without one’s sexual orientation…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    my collection…

    March 7, 2013

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015

    QAC 06 – Coming Out as a Panromantic Asexual

    June 1, 2013
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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