identity Archives | Page 5 of 9 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused.”

June 10, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Question!! I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused. I think I like quioromantic, but also I feel like idemromantic could apply. Since the two are similar, how would I decide which is more accurate in describing myself? Thanks! -Cio Oh! And also, does it make sense for me to want/be in a romantic relationship even if I (don’t know if I) feel romantic attraction? If one of my close friends asked me on a date I’d quickly agree, but is that fair to them? -Cio i often suggest to people to try an identity / label ‘on for size’ to see how it ‘fits’. sometimes it’s hard to know whether something feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to you just from read definitions and researching the experiences of others who identify as the identity / label that you’re interested in. sometimes things become a lot clearer more quickly by…

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Vesper H.

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…limitations of intersectionality

May 29, 2016 / 1 Comment

…so earlier today i was interviewed for an upcoming podcast for queer people of color. it was great! i spilled my guts all over the place in a rather embarrassing way and it’ll be available for your amusement in the near future! but now i feel a need to unload some disjointed, messy feels about intersectionality. tl;dr: it’d be nice if intersectionality could happen on more than just two (occasionally three) axes at a time, but that’s unlikely to ever happen.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual?”

May 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I was wondering if you would be able to tell me what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual? for some people, they can mean the same thing. it really depends on what the terms mean to the person/people identifying as them. a possible difference: a panromantic demisexual may have the potential to experience romantic attraction towards people of any gender, but they experience sexual attraction towards no one until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. a demi-pansexual may have the potential to experience sexual attraction towards people of any gender, but they don’t experience sexual attraction until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. these are but one of many possible ways that…

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Vesper H.

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…so this happened at TRP today.
May 7, 2016

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Q&A: “I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc…”

May 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Ok the thing is that I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc. Just wanted to ask if there’s a term/label/word or something to that. So if that’s a real thing? not everyone’s sexuality is fluid even if their gender is. yes, that is a real thing, regardless of whether there’s a term for it or not. some people use the terms gynosexual / gynoromantic to describe attraction to women, without regard to one’s own gender identity, but… i hesitant to even mention these terms, or their male counterparts androsexual / androromantic, at all because of people defining and using these terms in really problematic ways. as tempting as it may be to use these terms because they’re almost like an ‘easy fix’, i do not recommend them. i’m really only mentioning…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “ive been id-ing as genderqueer for a while now bc i know im not a girl or a boy…”

April 28, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: ive been id-ing as genderqueer for a while now bc i know im not a girl or a boy and i definitely have a gender but i dont know what? and ive been very confused on presentation lately bc i want to be understood with an underlying masculinity but wear feminine stuff and im just kinda??? its just very confusing and im very lost hi, anon. 🙂 i understand that feeling confused and lost sucks, but really it’s okay. it’s okay to be confused. it’s okay to not know what your gender is. it’s okay to not be sure how you want to present yourself. it’s okay to not be sure how to achieve how you want to present yourself. it’s okay to not know how your presentation relates to your gender, if it even does at all. as much as being confused and lost sucks, it is…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I am a Muslim who wears hijab and I wanted to know if I have the right to use the label genderfluid to describe myself?”

April 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I am a Muslim who wears hijab and I wanted to know if I have the right to use the label genderfluid to describe myself? Even though I identify as either male, female, androgynous or something else, I am AFAB and have always presented myself as female, so does this sort of question the validity of my claim as genderfluid? Because I wear hijab all the time, I feel like I can’t claim to be anything but female as many people see hijab as a gender indicator rather than as a religious concept? anon, you have every right to identify as whatever feels comfortable or right to you. how you present yourself neither validates nor invalidates your identity, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. gender identity is one thing, gender (or self) expression is another. for some people, these two things happen to coincide with one…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying.”

March 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying. I don’t know if I want to label myself but I feel like I have to for the people surrounding me. Let me not have a label if I don’t want to. Let me live. I don’t know where to go from now. anon, you most certainly don’t have to label yourself and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being sure of your sexuality or anything else in life. even if others are obnoxious enough to try and co-pilot or even hijack it, the fact is that you are in control of your life and identity. you and only you. what you do from here is entirely up to you. hell, you don’t even have to do anything at all if you don’t want to. discovering something new about yourself can certainly be terrifying, especially at…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago but…”

March 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago. but in the past few months i’ve been realizing that i may not be asexual. i don’t know what i am and i don’t want to label it just yet. i also want to tell my friends, but i feel like they’re getting tired of me saying different things (i came out as bi, then ace & trans, then this) and that there’s no point in me saying anything if i don’t even know what i am. i want to say something, but i don’t even know if i should. hi, anon. if you want to say something to your friends, then i think you should? there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just flat out saying that you’re not sure how you feel and/or that you’re questioning. that you’re continuously learning and discovering things about…

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Vesper H.

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random thoughts on ‘genderqueer’ & ‘non-binary’

March 9, 2016 / No Comments

unknought wrote in: “What you describe as feeling “degendered” by being called non-binary seems similar to how some people eventually started feeling about the term/identity genderqueer.” Would you be able to say more about this and/or provide a source? I had just been asking people about how nonbinary seems to have taken the place genderqueer had five years ago, and it sounds like you have an idea what’s been going on there? (in reference to this post) all that follows is nothing more than my opinion and personal observation, but… reflecting back over the past 6 years in which i personally have gone from identifying as genderqueer to not using the term to describe myself at all anymore, i feel like i’ve seen three major things happen within online genderqueer and non-binary communities that have ultimately resulted in the decline in usage of the word “genderqueer” by some people?…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “i know you identify as maverique but i was wondering if you also consider yourself trans?”

March 5, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: hi, i know you identify as maverique but i was wondering if you also consider yourself trans? this is for a project im doing, in which i take stats on what labels nonbinary people use, and after looking on your about page, i was curious? thank you, i hope this is alright to ask hi. 🙂 i identify as maverique and as non-binary, but i do not personally identify as trans for various reasons that are related to me also not wanting to use the term “transition” to describe myself or the things that i (intend to) do. see this video for more info. having said that, your project sounds interesting. 🙂 i’d definitely be interested in hearing about your findings. i’ve long since been annoyed by the trans-cis binary that exists both within and outside of the trans community and i’m sure your findings will be influenced by that…

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Vesper H.

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