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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but…”

    May 6, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi There. My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but he is not attracted to them outside of the bedroom. I was reading something online and found out that he might be a heteroromantic bisexual. I would just like to know if there are cases wherein a heteroromantic bisexual man can become a fully homosexual man? Has there been cases that you know of when this has happened? Thank you for your time. hello, anon. for anyone there is a possibility that one’s sexuality may change or that one might discover something new about oneself that one didn’t previously know. this is as true for you as it is for your boyfriend and for anyone else. in fact, this was true even before your boyfriend came out to you. however, the fact that you’ve became concerned about this upon discovering…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    May 6, 2016

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    October 16, 2016

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i am agender, but also a girl, simulaneously and constantly.”

    May 2, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: i am agender, but also a girl, simulaneously and constantly. im nervous about telling people this because i dont want them to tell me i cant be be angender AND a girl. i usually just say im nonbinary but specifically im an agender girl. is this okay? of course it’s okay, anon. you aren’t obligated to tell anyone anything about your genders to begin with. if you do choose to tell someone something, it’s entirely up to you what / how much you tell them. in fact, i’m pretty sure that a lot of people come out as non-binary and leave it at that sometimes, not because they don’t identify as a more specific gender (or genders) but just because they don’t want to have to deal with people’s negative reactions or questions. there is absolutely nothing wrong with simplifying or selectively choosing what you tell people because…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014

    AskAPan Week 06 – “Genderblind”ness (+DOMA comments)

    June 28, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago but…”

    March 27, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago. but in the past few months i’ve been realizing that i may not be asexual. i don’t know what i am and i don’t want to label it just yet. i also want to tell my friends, but i feel like they’re getting tired of me saying different things (i came out as bi, then ace & trans, then this) and that there’s no point in me saying anything if i don’t even know what i am. i want to say something, but i don’t even know if i should. hi, anon. if you want to say something to your friends, then i think you should? there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just flat out saying that you’re not sure how you feel and/or that you’re questioning. that you’re continuously learning and discovering things about…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

    October 23, 2016

    Re: QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 23, 2016

    『[4コマ]☆AセクシュアルとAce(エース)☆』

    July 27, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “I’m 13 and I’m pretty sure I’m ace and I want to come out to someone as ace but…”

    March 27, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m 13 and I’m pretty sure I’m ace and I want to come out to someone as ace but she’s ace and in afraid she will think I’m just doing this to “be like” her. I’m really not this is how I feel and this is who I am. hi, anon. 🙂 hopefully your friend will be supportive. i mean, you coming out to her as ace is cause to be happy! happy for you, for having discovered something so awesome about yourself, and happy for her, for having a friend who’s also ace! that said, if your friend does accuse you of wanting to be like her, it may be worth pointing out that being ace isn’t any more of a choice for you than it is her. if by chance her being ace somehow helped you to discover that you’re ace too, you could perhaps mention…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Burnt Out & Neurotic: The Toll of Blogging While Ace and Mentally Ill

    December 26, 2018

    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015

    …so this happened at TRP today.

    May 7, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 45 – Forced Out of the Closet: 2 Years Later | Coming Out Again (Non-Binary Bi / Pan Asexual)

    January 26, 2016 / No Comments

    it’s been 2 years since i was forced out of the closet by my mom; it’s been 5 months since my last video about how things are going with my family. this video is long, but it’s also long overdue. the past 5 months have been an emotional roller coaster. from breaking off communication with my mom, to coming out to my sister as bi / panromantic, to being met with further attempts at invalidation, to being “home” for the holidays, to coming out as non-binary to my sister, to FINALLY being referred to by my real name…. 2 years later, things are finally looking up. kind of. only time will tell what 2016 will bring. TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse & child abuse with a time jump point in the video itself so you can safely watch and skip the trigger. […] long video is long, but that’s what…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    カルシファー、お帰り。 Welcome Home, Calcifer.

    September 17, 2017

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    July 6, 2017

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    July 15, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “[mom’s] been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little.”

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I came out to my mom yesterday as trans, and I kind of regret it. all she’s been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little. she’s telling me it’s probably just a phase and that I need to talk to someone. she seems really set on it, as if it’s just a problem to be solved. she told me I’m probably having an identity crisis. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I feel invalid. was I really supposed to know from a young age? it very much sounds like your mom is currently struggling with denial and grief, which is really common when a child comes out to their parent(s). she’s basically projecting her own feelings onto you, desperately hoping that she’s right. she’s telling you the same things she’s telling herself in an attempt to cope…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know

    October 18, 2015 / No Comments

    too often young aces and young people who are questioning whether or not they’re on the ace spectrum get told that they’re “too young to know.” young aces have it hard, constantly having their feelings and identity invalidated not only by society but by their own friends and family members purely on the basis of their age. well, i’m here to tell you that society is wrong. young aces, you can never be too young to know who you are. this video is dedicated to you. it’s already Asexual Awareness Week here in Japan and i’m kicking it off with a video dedicated to young aces and young people who are questioning. i hope that you’ll find this video encouraging. i’ll be adding captions to this video within the next couple of days. edit: les sous-titres sont maintenant disponible en l’anglais et en français ! mille mercis à ZKL pour le…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    VICELAND – GAYCATION Episode 1: Japan

    March 3, 2016

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014

    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I have decide to come out as asexual today…”

    October 4, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I have decide to come out as asexual today and I don´t know how I feel about it, but I am kinda happy and somewhat relieve and wanted to tell you in this site first because you were my first contact with asexuality and thank to you I have learn so many things. Thank you for your channel, for your blog and your kindness with us anon that came with our questions. Is really reasurring know there is a person like you. So, yeah. Ace pride!   !!!!!!! good luck, anon!!! i sincerely hope that it goes well for you! and wow, i’m incredibly honored to be the first person you told. thank you, anon, and thank you for the incredibly kind words as well. it really is an honor to be able to help you and anyone else in any way. <3 w00t!! ace pride, indeed!!

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “People know me as “straight” but I am afraid to come out as bisexual when I really haven’t had any experience with girls.”

    September 10, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Ever since elementary school I have looked at girls the same way I look at guys, but when I was younger I never thought anything of it. In 6th grade my first kiss was a girl, just a quick peck; since then I’ve only been with guys. I’m currently in a serious relationship with a guy, but lately I have been putting a lot of thought into my sexuality. People know me as “straight” but I am afraid to come out as bisexual when I really haven’t had any experience with girls.   hello, anon! my apologies for taking so long to respond to your ask. ;( being in a relationship definitely makes coming out more challenging. on top of that, coming out as bi presents even more unique challenges. for one thing, people are likely to try and question or invalidate your sexuality because of your ‘lack of…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I have repeatedly told my dad that I am asexual and he still thinks that i’m not…”

    June 25, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I have repeatedly told my dad that I am asexual and he still thinks that i’m not. He says that I need to try being in a relationship before I can call myself asexual. I’m getting really tired of this and I just want him to understand. Do you have any information I can use to educate him on it? By the way I really want to thank you for making all of your videos about asexuality! Theyve really helped me! Thanks! 🙂   thank you! but it’s rather ironic that you’d ask me this while i myself am struggling with a parent who just doesn’t get it. that said, i’m sure there’s more hope for your dad than my #$faS@a mom. 😀 the thing is, understanding something like this is a two-way street. for your dad to truly understand who you are, he has to be willing…

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    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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