Q&A: “My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but…”
Hi There. My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but he is not attracted to them outside of the bedroom. I was reading something online and found out that he might be a heteroromantic bisexual. I would just like to know if there are cases wherein a heteroromantic bisexual man can become a fully homosexual man? Has there been cases that you know of when this has happened? Thank you for your time.
for anyone there is a possibility that one’s sexuality may change or that one might discover something new about oneself that one didn’t previously know. this is as true for you as it is for your boyfriend and for anyone else.
in fact, this was true even before your boyfriend came out to you.
however, the fact that you’ve became concerned about this upon discovering that he’s bisexual– more specifically, your concern about him be(com)ing gay (ie. not sexually attracted to you) suggests that you’re worried about what his sexuality means for your relationship.
while i personally do not know of any instances of a bi man (whether heteroromantic or not) becoming gay, i have heard numerous instances of partners becoming unduly concerned over the security of their relationship upon finding out that their partner is bi.
your boyfriend has told you that he’s not attracted to men outside of the bedroom. regardless of what you may hear about other bi men from the internet, from me or from anyone else, your boyfriend knows himself better than anyone else. please trust him. he is no less worthy of your trust or likely to change as a bi man than he would have been were he a straight man. his love for you is no less genuine now than it was before he came out to you.
communication is incredibly important for any relationship, regardless of the sexuality of the people involved. i get the feeling that your boyfriend already knows this; he came out to you because he treasures your relationship and he knew that telling you was important. trust that in the future, should something change for him, he will come to you again and let you know.
that said, communication is a two way street. it’s great that you’re doing research online to educate yourself and i’m more than happy to help if i can! but in the end, the success of your relationship is dependent (at least in part) on communication between the two of you. rest assured that his sexuality has nothing to do with it.
all the best to you and your boyfriend, anon. please tell him congrats on coming out for me. 🙂