Q&A Archives | Page 21 of 36 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A not Q&A: “Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation?”

June 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation? It also seemed to imply that asexuality is a choice? I’m really tired of misinformation about asexuals being spread around. …mmm, no i have not seen the post in question, but a quick search has brought up this post (warning: offensive ignorance is offensive) that i’m guessing might be the one you’re referring to…? was posted about 20hrs ago (i received this ask 4hrs ago) and yet has somehow already amassed 200 notes without a single critic of its content in sight. the spreading of misinformation (maliciously or not) is annoying indeed. that said, i just so happen to be Apathetic As Hell about what others think and am very confident and comfortable in my identity as an asexual, so it’s pretty easy for me to not give a damn about…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing?”

June 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: okay. so. why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing? (i have googled this, trust me) …gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that this is in response to this post where no one ever said that they mean the same thing. well fear not, confused anon! unlike Google, i have an entire tag (or four) dedicated to your very question! may i direct you, dear anon, to my #bi vs pan tag in particular, as well as to these two posts in that tag: “what’s the difference between bi and pan?” (hint: there is a difference) “why does it matter if the definitions of bisexuality overlap with the definitions of…?” (hint: it doesn’t matter) and no, lovely anon, my sarcasm is not meant as condescension! i just found the tone of your ask mildly annoying, so i thought i might as well jump onto…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “have you read any books with non-binary characters in them?”

June 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey, Vesper, have you read any books with non-binary characters in them? I found several on amazon Kindle, which is super exciting, but I’m also kinda wary of them. i’m afraid i haven’t had the time or energy to read much of anything for a long while now, so i haven’t read anything with non-binary characters in it apart from webcomics… i can’t personally vouch for the content of any of these lists, but perhaps these book lists from GoodReads.com and the reviews on them will help you find quality books to read? Non-Binary and Genderqueer Characters in YA Fiction Non-Binary (Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Gender-Unspecified, etc) Fiction and Memoirs Gender Non-Binary Fantasy & Science Fiction oh, and: 17 Pathbreaking Non-Binary and Gender-Fluid Novels (not from GoodReads) i totally understand being wary or apprehensive of reading anything with a supposed non-binary character in it. :/ i’d be inclined to research the…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I am having trouble with my gender, and am looking for some advice?”

June 12, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I am having trouble with my gender, and am looking for some advice? I was AFAB, but was stuck in a disgustingly misogynistic environment from the time I was 9 (19 now) until just a few months ago. For the past several years, I’ve had a strong aversion to anything stereotypically seen as “female,” and experienced a lot of issues with the way my body is seen. I’ve tried using every other pronoun set and gender I can think of, and none of them make me feel any better. I don’t know what to do. if you don’t had any animosity or otherwise negative feelings towards your name, you could ask people to always refer to you by your name instead of pronouns. some people prefer to go by their name until they find a pronoun that feels right to them and others go by their name indefinitely,…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused.”

June 10, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Question!! I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused. I think I like quioromantic, but also I feel like idemromantic could apply. Since the two are similar, how would I decide which is more accurate in describing myself? Thanks! -Cio Oh! And also, does it make sense for me to want/be in a romantic relationship even if I (don’t know if I) feel romantic attraction? If one of my close friends asked me on a date I’d quickly agree, but is that fair to them? -Cio i often suggest to people to try an identity / label ‘on for size’ to see how it ‘fits’. sometimes it’s hard to know whether something feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to you just from read definitions and researching the experiences of others who identify as the identity / label that you’re interested in. sometimes things become a lot clearer more quickly by…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “so, i’m 21 and i’ve never been in love or had a crush or anything, and i don’t really find people attractive…”

June 8, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: ok so, i’m 21 and i’ve never been in love or had a crush or anything, and i don’t really find people attractive, and if someone asks me if i think someone is attractive, i get really uncomfortable because i just can’t tell. i like watching porn (m/m and m/f but i don’t really like f/f porn), but i can’t imagine having sex with anyone. another thing is, i don’t really like being called a girl, cause it feels like it’s way to call me weak (i know this is not true, and i don’t want to offend anyone, it’s just how i feel when someone calls me a girl/woman) i don’t care if someone calls me a boy or makes quotation marks while calling me a girl. i think i’m aro ace but i’m not sure, what do you think? i think you should go with what…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…would it be correct to suppose that Maverique is on a spectrum of its own, with two opposite ends…?”

June 2, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey Vesper. I have a thought. What if Maverique is its own unique gender the way that the four temperaments are each distinct, being two pairs of opposites but not excluding the other pair. Like for instance sanguines are the opposite of melancholy, but that does not exclude the existance of cholerics and phlegmatics. Type A and Type B are not the only two personality types but they are opposites. Temperament is not a one-dimensional thing like a spectrum between two types. To elaborate on my thoughts. If Maverique is a gender outside of the masculine-feminine spectrum, then would it be correct to suppose that Maverique is on a spectrum of its own, with two opposite ends, just like sanguine and melancholy temperaments are on a spectrum separate from Choleric and phlegmatic? The way I want to illustrate my supposition is as follows: let’s say that maverique is…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual?”

May 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I was wondering if you would be able to tell me what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual? for some people, they can mean the same thing. it really depends on what the terms mean to the person/people identifying as them. a possible difference: a panromantic demisexual may have the potential to experience romantic attraction towards people of any gender, but they experience sexual attraction towards no one until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. a demi-pansexual may have the potential to experience sexual attraction towards people of any gender, but they don’t experience sexual attraction until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. these are but one of many possible ways that…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “…four years ago I discovered your channel and it was one of the cornerstones of support and information for me…”

May 29, 2016 /

celestialodysseys said: Hey I just wanted to say that four years ago I discovered your channel and it was one of the cornerstones of support and information for me as I started coming to terms with my Queerness. Your videos gave me a sense of comfort and pride and I always smile when I see something from your blog or YouTube channel <3 …i don’t even know what to say. it’s incredibly kind of you to take time out of your day to come and share this with me. thank you. it means a lot and it’s an honor to have helped you in any way. but seriously, sticking with me for four years? thank you. you’ve basically grown alongside me and that really is an honor. thanks for sticking with me and never stop being awesome. <3

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “you mention neutrois having ‘some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition’. What did you mean by this?”

May 27, 2016 / No Comments

jenovaii said: Hi, I’m at the crux of being upset, but I want to make sure I’m not just misunderstanding. In your discussion of why you coined the word maverique (which is a really nice-sounding term btw), you mention neutrois’ having “some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition”. What did you mean by this? I’m sorry if you’ve already answered some similar clarification; i did try to look through your blog for answers before asking. You can reply privately or not, nbd. hi and thanks for asking for clarification. 🙂 to quote the post in question more fully: i repeatedly saw people (wrongfully, imho) associating and/or confusing neutrois with agender and genderlessness, as well as throwing around some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition. in the above, i never actually said who was throwing around the requirements. i may be wrong, but i’m…

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Vesper H.

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