Q&A Archives | Page 22 of 36 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “what’s the deal with the fact that lesbian folks get mad if you headcanon characters as ace?”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

titanium-star-bisexual said: hey vesper? sorry to bother you with this again, especially when we kinda already spoke on it, but now people have started getting offended and attacking me for my head canons in my inbox. i wanted to ask if you knew what the deal is with the fact that lesbian folks get mad if you headcanon characters as ace? i thought a person could be both at the same time? ? im just not sure what to do because they are really getting angry. any pointers? hi. 🙂 you’re never a bother, so no worries. but aahhh, i feel like i’m the wrong person to be giving any kind of pointers on how to deal with fandom backlash. i do not involve myself in any kind of fandom, largely in part because i do not want to deal with this kinda stuff. as such, i have zero…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m trying to understand the differences between maverique, agender, gender neutral, and neutrois.”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m trying to understand the differences between maverique, agender, gender neutral, and neutrois. What does being a maverique feel like to you and how does it differ from the other terms? I know what these terms MEAN, but not how these genders are EXPERIENCED. everyone has their own unique experience with gender, so there is no one “maverique experience”, “agender experience”, etc. what being maverique feels like to me isn’t necessarily going to match how other maveriques feel. that disclaimer aside, some links that may help you: “maverique: why i coined the word” – where i talk about why i stopped identifying as neutrois, how being maverique feels to me and how that differs from being gender neutral or genderless. “goodbye neutrois, hello maverique” – video version of the above “how is maverique distinct from agender?” – where i respond to an ask about the difference between being…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “All the backlash over the #GiveSteveABoyfriend thing is making me feel like crap.”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

tw: suicide, death, self harm anonymous said: All the backlash over the #GiveSteveABoyfriend thing is making me feel like crap. I’m Christian and queer, and I’m starting to freak out. Maybe it’s right for queer people to kill themselves? Maybe I shouldn’t exist? anon, please take this moment to close Twitter, stop everything you’re doing and just breathe. relax. listen. regardless of whatever anyone else says, who you are as a Christian and as a queer person is valid. as hard as life may be sometimes, please do not throw yours away. your life, and the life of every queer person, is far more valuable and worth living than you seem to think right now. please block and ignore anything that brings you down like this, including the hashtags #GiveSteveABoyfriend and #GiveCaptianAmericaABoyfriend on Twitter. do not subject yourself to people’s bullshit. there are lots of other people in those tags…

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Vesper H.

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「私はゲイ」自分の言葉で、自分を語る / “I’m Gay” – Talking About Myself By Myself: Gay men talk about their own identity.
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on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.
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Q&A: “I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc…”

May 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Ok the thing is that I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc. Just wanted to ask if there’s a term/label/word or something to that. So if that’s a real thing? not everyone’s sexuality is fluid even if their gender is. yes, that is a real thing, regardless of whether there’s a term for it or not. some people use the terms gynosexual / gynoromantic to describe attraction to women, without regard to one’s own gender identity, but… i hesitant to even mention these terms, or their male counterparts androsexual / androromantic, at all because of people defining and using these terms in really problematic ways. as tempting as it may be to use these terms because they’re almost like an ‘easy fix’, i do not recommend them. i’m really only mentioning…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I was just trying to see if the definition of lithromantic can be bent according to who experiences it.”

May 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I was just trying to see if the definition of lithromantic can be bent according to who experiences it. Basically, the definition i experience is the one where once my feelings are reciprocated, that romantic attraction fades away. It doesnt have to necessarily mean that i get uncomfortable with having my feelings reciprocated, does it? Like, i dont necessarily mind if my partner says all these lovey dovey stuff, but most of the time i dont exactly say it back. Sorry im confused ㅠㅠ hi, anon. 🙂 being lithromantic does not mean that one automatically finds reciprocated romantic attraction repulsive upon ones own attraction fading, nor does it imply that one feels any particular way about having one’s romantic attraction reciprocated. being lithromantic means that once romantic attraction is reciprocated, the attraction that you feel fades. that’s all. what happens after that differs from person to person.…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but…”

May 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi There. My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but he is not attracted to them outside of the bedroom. I was reading something online and found out that he might be a heteroromantic bisexual. I would just like to know if there are cases wherein a heteroromantic bisexual man can become a fully homosexual man? Has there been cases that you know of when this has happened? Thank you for your time. hello, anon. for anyone there is a possibility that one’s sexuality may change or that one might discover something new about oneself that one didn’t previously know. this is as true for you as it is for your boyfriend and for anyone else. in fact, this was true even before your boyfriend came out to you. however, the fact that you’ve became concerned about this upon discovering…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “have you seen that discussion about a word for the prejudice against enbies…?”

May 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: have you seen that discussion about a word for the prejudice against enbies on vergess’ blog? what do you think? no, i hadn’t seen the discussion prior to this ask. i assume that you’re referring to this discussion which seems to have been triggered by this post? i’m going to reblog the latter post later because what everyone’s saying there is really, really important, but for now i’m in a hurry, so… the condensed version of my thoughts: i think it’s great that @vergess and others are trying to coin a word to describe the unique challenges, prejudice, etc that non-binary people face, which i whole heartedly agree is different from what binary trans people face. personally, i’ve always used ‘non-binary erasure’ and ‘(gender) binarism’ to discuss such things, so i haven’t felt a strong need to coin a word for it. that said, it is true that in years…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What is the difference between maverique and aporagender?”

May 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! What is the difference between maverique and aporagender? Thanks! i’m going to copy and paste the answer to this because i’m especially low on time and energy today. sorry, anon! What’s the difference between aporagender and maverique? They seem similar. Aporagender and maverique are similar. In fact, they were coined around the exact same time by two different people. What a coincidence! However, according to the coiner of aporagender, aporagender can be used as an umbrella term. It can potentially encompass many genders, whereas maverique is a single, specific gender. That, in my opinion, is the biggest difference between aporagender and maverique. check out the FAQ page of @maveriques where you might find answers to other questions you have. my (and @maveriques‘) askbox is always open, though, if you still have questions. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “Thank you so much for what you’re doing, Vesper…”

May 5, 2016 /

anonymous said: Oh my gosh you are absolutely amazing and wonderful and just askdfl. Thank you so much for what you’re doing, Vesper- it’s helped me so much. Not only has your advocacy helped me understand my own identity, but it has inspired me to educate myself about very important issues regarding gender, sexuality, and the constant marginalization of minority groups in the U.S. (I use the term minority groups bc if I name every group the U.S. devalues we’d be here all day. Which is sad.) Srryifthisisweird D: ….thank you, anon. you really are too kind. i don’t think my actions worthy of being described with such a word, but i’m very much flattered that you consider what i do to be advocacy. i view it as me having a lot of feels and an exhausting inclination for unleashing said feels onto the world in ways that sometimes make…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “what if ruby and sapphire (and garnet) from su are all bisexual and maverique?”

May 5, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: hear me out: what if ruby and sapphire (and garnet) from su are all bisexual and maverique? ✨ (i wanna know what you think bc people are acting shady towards me for this and it upsets me) sounds like a really awesome headcanon to me! 🙂 however, i’m not surprised that people are acting shady towards you, sadly… from what i’ve seen / heard, SU fans can be incredibly hostile when it comes to headcanons re: the gems’ gender(s) and sexuality(/ies). i myself am not really into fandom (the hostility prevents me from enjoying it at all), but i personally prefer to think of the gems as existing without genders or sexual orientations because: unlike human society, gem society does not have the social construct of gender to begin with? imho, gender is assigned to them by humans (because humans insist on gendering everyone & everything) and…

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Vesper H.

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