Q&A: “so, i’m 21 and i’ve never been in love or had a crush or anything, and i don’t really find people attractive…”
ok so, i’m 21 and i’ve never been in love or had a crush or anything, and i don’t really find people attractive, and if someone asks me if i think someone is attractive, i get really uncomfortable because i just can’t tell. i like watching porn (m/m and m/f but i don’t really like f/f porn), but i can’t imagine having sex with anyone. another thing is, i don’t really like being called a girl, cause it feels like it’s way to call me weak (i know this is not true, and i don’t want to offend anyone, it’s just how i feel when someone calls me a girl/woman) i don’t care if someone calls me a boy or makes quotation marks while calling me a girl. i think i’m aro ace but i’m not sure, what do you think?
i think you should go with what you feel is right. if you think you’re aro ace, then i think it might be helpful to try identifying as that at least temporarily to see how it makes you feel. if that ends up not feeling right, that’s alright. no harm was done in trying out the identity temporarily, plus you will have gained experience from doing so that you can then use to help you find something else that feels better.
also, while it’s tempting to look to your feelings about porn to help you figure out your own sexuality, especially when you lack personal experience with sex, i’d advise against doing that. watching and liking (or disliking) certain types of porn (or even porn in general) doesn’t say anything about your sexuality anymore than someone watching and enjoying (or not enjoying) any other form of media says anything about them.
best of luck, anon. 🙂