Q&A Archives | Page 20 of 36 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “Idk if this is a valid thing but I know I love women and I also seem to love nb folks…”

July 1, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Idk if this is a valid thing but I know I love women and I also seem to love nb folks. I myself am nonbinary so I know they’re real and valid genders and such but there’s always a bit of me that worries that I like women and just want to feel special. Or at least that others will always assume that what you’re feeling is 100% valid, anon. imho, it sounds like you might be struggling with internalized monosexism. the same ignorance, stigma, etc within society that repeatedly tells bi people that they’re really just gay or straight and they’re just doing whatever it is that they’re doing (ie. loving who they love) for attention or to feel special. that they have to pick one gender to love or else they’re being ‘greedy’ or ‘confused’. it’s a large part of what fuels biphobia and many people who…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What do you call my sexuality in this scenario?”

June 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey hello hi, so I just recently came to the fact that im attracted physically to men and not sexually, but im attracted to woman physically and sexually. Ive always identified myself as a Lesbian and im confused now cus i found out i feel attracted to men. I DONT wanna do any sexually things with them, NEVER, but i find them attractive? like hardcore. What do you call my sexuality in this scenario? YO and thanks it’s up to you what you call yourself, anon. you could choose to continue to identify as a lesbian if you want to. being a lesbian doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t attracted to men in any way whatsoever, imho. then again, you could also identify as something else if you want to. some people are attracted to different genders in different ways. a woman who is sexually and romantically attracted to women…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels!”

June 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels! I identify under both the ace and aro umbrellas, but it’s weird and hard to explain and trying to say I’m bi/pan/poly/etc (even without -romantic) carries that weird connotation that doesn’t fit me. I actually think you just managed to put my feelings into words??? I’m having an epiphany and I need to go think about this more. (re: this post) i know right? i’m also very fond of ‘queer’ as a word and identity and identify strongly with it. sometimes i refer to myself as a ‘queer asexual’ rather than as a ‘bi / pan asexual’ for the sake of brevity and/or to avoid assumptions, depending on the situation and who i’m talking to. whenever i do that, ‘queer’ isn’t acting as a replacement for ‘bi’ or ‘pan’, but rather as yet another…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity?”

June 28, 2016 / 1 Comment

anonymous said: I have a question. I saw your post about how you find it a but annoying that people either assume you’re bisexual or bi romantic, when you always just say bi. And I’ll admit that since you are also asexual my first reaction was to assume you were biromantic, I’m sorry. But it confuses me a little. Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity? It’s okay if you don’t want to! I’m just trying to understand (in response to this post) first off, even though i felt a need to vent about it because it is annoying, i want to point out that i’m not offended or angry when someone misreads my bi identity, especially if they’re understanding when/if i correct them. there are so many reasons why a person would automatically read “bi” as either bisexual or biromantic that it almost…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

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Q&A, Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

Q&A: “I have some questions about your YouTube stuff.”

June 28, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey Vesper! I have some questions about your YouTube stuff. Feel free to get to this as you feel like, no rush! What are the biggest differences between discussing LGBT+ stuff on tumblr vs on YouTube? Who are some other LGBT+ vloggers that you enjoy? And do you have any advice you’d give to other people considering vlogging about LGBT+ topics and their identities? hi! i’m flattered that you’re interested in my answer to these questions. apologies in advance for the length and if my responses aren’t even helpful. “What are the biggest differences between discussing LGBT+ stuff on tumblr vs on YouTube?” the big differences between the two platforms make for big differences in the way discussions unfold and how one even goes about initiating a discussion, imho. i feel like it’s much easier to have discussions on Tumblr and the discussions that i have here are…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
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Feedback: “I think a good translation for お疲れ様 is “Good work”?”

June 27, 2016 /

anonymous said: Ty for your ace posts. I think a good translation for お疲れ様 is “Good work”? as I see that that usually matches most contexts. And also, お疲れ様 to you too for your work on ace activism. I appreciate it. it can be translated as “good work,” definitely. it’s just that that translation still lacks some of the nuances that i wish i could convey in English… sigh! either way, いいえ、こちらこそお疲れ様でした。thanks, but also same to you (and everyone else out there). 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Feedback, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Feedback: “I just want to say I found some of your videos on YouTube and some of them have really resonated with me…”

June 21, 2016 /

anonymous said: I just want to say I found some of your videos on YouTube and some of them have really resonated with me. I’ve always identified as bi, and was identifying as neutrois but sort of on the fence about it being the right term, and upon watching one of your videos awhile ago explaining your experience while identifying as neutrois and why you coined maverique, I’ve started to realize maverique may fit me better as well. So yeah, I just want to say thanks for doing what you do, and say keep doing it! thanks for not only watching my videos, but also for taking the time out of your day to come and send me this really nice message, anon. i appreciate the feedback & encouragement and am honored to hear that my neutrois / maverique video resonated with you. 🙂 keep being awesome yourself!

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I identify as gray-ace, but it feels too vague to me and causes unnecessary worries to my partner…”

June 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper! I identify as gray-ace, but it feels too vague to me and causes unnecessary worries to my partner about pushing me to do things I don’t really want (that never happens). I haven’t been able to find a more specific term. I do feel sexual attraction, so much that it’s obvious to me, but only when I decide I want to feel it in an interaction with someone. Cupio and recipro don’t fit. I call it conveniosexual as a joke because it is convenient, but is there an existing word? …i really hate to say this, but if your partner is concerned about pushing you to do things that you don’t really want to do, it seems unlikely to me that changing your identity would at all be a solution for that. forgive me if i’m out of line for saying this, but i’m doubtful that…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “you’re personality REALLY reminds me of me. I’m also what you call “apathetic as hell.””

June 19, 2016 /

anonymous said: you’re personality REALLY reminds me of me. I’m also what you call “apathetic as hell.” I just think you can catch more flies with honey. People shut down if you automatically start tearing them down. You don’t build yourself (& others) up by tearing someone (& others) down. PLUS you’ll NEVER get them to understand what you’re talking about if you attack them back because they’ll be in their defensive mindset. It’s effective in helping people evolve. It’s also important to pick your fights. If you’re constantly fighting not only are you going to drain yourself but people will start to take your fighting level as a basic level of how you react to things and they’ll take you less seriously. Also some people do screw up and don’t realize it; informing them on the issue and helping them improve themselves is better than just throwing them under…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
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Feedback: “I’m trying to understand more LGBTQIA issues and you’re blog is really helping me.”

June 19, 2016 /

anonymous said: post/140747818071/my-friend-i-both-identify-as-queer-women-she-is <- this was a great post you clarified so much for me THANK YOU. I’ve been trying to understand this kind of issue. I’m asexual, aromantic, and sex repulsed so it’s a blurred perspective for these kinds of topics but I’m trying to understand more LGBTQIA issues and you’re blog is really helping me. It sucks that’s it’s difficult to find a legit discussion about these kinds of topics on tumblr but hey… it’s tumblr. (the post in question) honored to be of any help to you, anon. the a problem with Tumblr is that even if there is serious discussion about important things going on on this site, it can be impossible to find it because of the way Tumblr is setup and that sucks as much as the apparently lack of serious discussions at times… sigh.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016