[A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

Q&A: “on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating…”



anonymous said:

I just had a eureka moment when looking at your recent reblog of a post on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating… As an aro ace, the whole “love” angle is definitely implicitly exclusionary. The core of my being aro ace is that I DON’T love anyone That Way, and community rhetoric consistently fails to reflect that. Not to mention that I find the “twoo wuv” thing eye-roll-inducing at times. Your thoughts?

( re: this post )

i agree that in addition to ignoring, excluding and / or alienating trans and non-binary people, as pointed out in the OP, such rhetoric also  ignores, excludes and alienates those for whom “love” (be it in the traditional, romantic sense or at all) is not a thing– or at least, is not The Thing that defines their connection to the LGBTQIA community. such rhetoric posits love as some kind of universal, inherently humane experience that people in the LGBTQIA community share with those who are not part of the community and that that commonality is unstopable and the thing that what warrants our acceptance.

it is an appeal to humanity that neglects and subsequently undermines the humanity of people for whom such an appeal is laced with the very same ammunition that society uses to reject their humanity or existence on a daily basis.

yeah, “love is love” and other such rhetoric is incredibly frustrating…

I feel this.

I understand it’s a political tactic. Painting love as a universal part of humanity and a wonderful thing makes it much harder to hate a group of people who seem to be defined by love. It’s been a pretty darn effective tool for lgb people. Which is wonderful!

It still does hurt though. It’s just another thing reminding me that I’m fundamentally disconnected from what people deem the most human and valuable experience to have. That’s an incredibly alienating experience.

I dont know what to do then. Cause I certainly dont want to remove a useful tool for lgb people (in healthy relationships) but I also want to uplift and include everyone for whom “love is love” isn’t part of their queerness.

personally, i just don’t use or buy things with the message of “love is love” / “love wins” the same as i don’t with “born this way” rhetoric, but at the same time me not advocating for or embarrassing such rhetoric for myself doesn’t stop others from doing so and i don’t feel like i have the right to even ask that of others for very much the same reason as you said above.

i guess i just cling to the hope that advocacy for increased awareness regarding related intra (and inter) community issues will in turn increase mindfulness of the non-inclusiveness of these appeals to humanity and usage of rhetorical devices…

YouTuber and Blogger, Vesper is an American expat currently living in Japan.

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