[ … ] There isn’t any classroom, or pre-testosterone counseling session that prepared me for what it means to become America’s boogieman; a black man. What I was first acquainted with as a gender nonconforming dyke and what was further illuminated after engaging in hormone therapy and beginning to “pass” as a man of color, is that without organically derived psychological schemas, black masculinity is suspended in others’ projections, desires / fantasies, or agendas. [ … ]
– Parker T Hurley (”Outside the XY: Queer, Black and Brown Masculinity”, a @bklynboihood anthology edited by Morgan Mann Willis)
came across this gem (among others) in my reading today. the first highlighted / bolded part (emphasis mine) in particular touches upon something that i’ve been thinking about for years now, but haven’t gotten up the nerve to explicitly talk about for various reasons. the latter highlighted / bolded part is all too relevant food for thought. it’s nice to see someone else articulate something that’s been on my mind for so long, but that i rarely if ever see anyone acknowledge let alone talk about. hopefully eventually i’ll be in a place where i feel comfortable enough to talk about this, but until then?
*gestures fervently at this like my life depends on it because it kinda does*