Q&A: “I identify as homoflexible, it’s what fits me best, but I didn’t realize it was biphobic…”
anonymous said Hi I saw your post about homoflexibility and I wanted to ask you about it. I think I identify as homoflexible, it’s what fits me best, but I didn’t realize it was biphobic and I’m really freaked out because I don’t want to be biphobic it’s just what fits me best. I don’t consider myself bi because while I occasionally can have attraction to guys I don’t want a relationship(or sex) with a guy, I just don’t. But I’m not a lesbian either because I can occasionally experience attraction to guys. hi anon, first of all, sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. i hope you’re well. i’m guessing that the post that you’re referring to is this one? as i tried to make clear in the original post, i was only voicing my own personal qualms with common definitions of homoflexible (and heteroflexible) and…
Q&A: “I stumbled across the term Maverique a few days ago…”
anonymous said: I stumbled across the term Maverique a few days ago. Before I went w/ the gender I was assigned at birth (cuz ¯_(ツ)_/¯), but the definition just “clicked”. After reading more about it I’m not sure if I can ID that way tho, cuz while I don’t feel genderless, or like a man/woman, I do feel kinda “feminine”, but it’s not like “”””feminine””””, you know? It’s really “me”/innate & unrelated to things outside myself, but feminine as a word still fits, just the concept of feminine is my own. Thoughts? sorry for the slow reply, anon. i’m sorry that my definition of maverique being what it is has caused you to question whether you can identify as maverique or not. my personal stance is that if you feel like ‘maverique’ describes you then it does, even if ‘feminine’ also happens to describe you as well. i’m the last person to…
Q&A: “what does Xジェンダー mean?”
anonymous said: Heya! Sorry to bother you, but what does Xジェンダー mean? Is it literally the Japanese translation of non-binary? Or has the same meaning? Thanks according to 「Xジェンダーって何?」, Xジェンダー (”x gender”) is: 性自認を表す言葉の一種で、出産時に割り当てられた男性もしくは女性の性別のいずれに二分された性の自覚を持たず、自己の性別に関し、男女どちらでもない、あるいは男女どちらでもある、さらにはそれすらもどちらでもないっといった認識を自己の性に対してもっている人々のことを指す日本独自の呼称です。 a word that refers to a gender identity; a term unique to Japan to refer to people who do not identify as either of the two genders, male and female, that are assigned at birth, but rather self-identifies as neither male nor female, both male and female or as a different gender entirely. while i don’t have any sources to link to at the moment, i’m fairly certain that Xジェンダー was coined in Japan completely independent of “non-binary” in the English language. in fact, i’m also fairly certain that it was coined before usage of “non-binary” in reference to gender in English, but again, no source links because i’m too tired to dig for them. either way, Xジェンダー is…
Q&A: “Is it just me, or has the definition [of agender] shifted?”
anonymous said: I’ve got a question about agender. I was sifting through some of your old posts and noticed that you’ve previously framed agender as including “doesn’t have any gender identity at all.” Is it just me, or has that definition shifted? I use quoigender over agender because I’ve always gotten this vibe from the nonbinary community(ies) that agender is a gender identity, like how asexuality is a sexual orientation. (Incidentally, I hope that you’re hiatus has helped you recover.) hello anon. thanks for the kind wishes and sorry for taking so long to get to your ask. i’m guessing that the old post that you are referencing might be this one? either way, i feel like everything that i said in that post still holds true today and not much has changed…? the non-binary community in general– and indeed, many agender people themselves– still has / have a tendency…
Q&A: “I’ve heard it called “queer straightness”…”
dear anon from this post, upon hitting “post” after typing up a response to your most recent asks, Tumblr decided to be a Piece Of Shit and not actually post the ask at all. i have no idea where that ask even went, but thanks to a browser extension i still have my response to the asks word-for-word, so here it is without the first part of the ask and thus missing a lot of context for everyone else, but oh well… (2) I’ve heard it called “queer straightness”. Imo that’s not a reason to banish anyone from anywhere , but then again, I don’t know how things work over there. Thanks again for answering, now I understand this whole situation better. ( re: this post ) thanks for coming back and responding to my response, anon, and i apologize from totally running away with your ask. my response was…
Q&A: “I have a question about the definition of bisexuality.”
anonymous said: Hi! I have a question about the definition of bisexuality. I’ve been using a “same + different” -definition and that’s what I’ve seen being used the most. “Two or more” is alright, but if “same gender” is not required, why is it not under heterosexuality? I’m assuming the reason is political, but I want to be sure. hello anon, i’m guessing that this ask is related to this post where i say that i personally find defining bi as attraction to “same and different / other gender(s)” to be problematic. there’s actually nothing “political” about why a person doesn’t have to experience attraction towards people of the “same” or “similar” gender to be bi. that is, unless you consider the feelings and experiences of bi non-binary people to be “political,” which i sincerely hope not. the reason why i personally, as well as many others, find the “same and different / other” definition of bi to…
Q&A: “is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to?”
anonymous said: i’ve been wondering lately – is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to? why CAN’T an orientation define who you’re attracted to based on other factors? i get that would allow for things like sapiosexual and whatnot which is…yikes. but i almost feel like that’s PART of why ppl have like…a kneejerk reaction to “”mogai”” orientations maybe? idk i’m probably missing something abt it not all orientations are based solely on which gender(s) someone is attracted to. off the top of my head, some examples of orientations that aren’t solely based on that (if even based on that at all) are lith*, demi*, gray*, and a* but there are many more, of course. that said, i’m guessing you had “The Big 3″ orientations that society most commonly recognizes in mind when writing this ask. don’t quote me on this, but i feel…
Q&A: “The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship?”
anonymous said: The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship? Does it mean someone you would want to be in a queerplatonic with? you’re far from the only one who’s confused by the term “platonic attraction”, anon. imho, such confusion and misunderstanding is partially to blame for why some people are quick to make light of terms like “panplatonic”, “aplatonic”, etc. such confusion and misunderstanding is also part of the reason why some people prefer to use other terms instead. the word “platonic” is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as referring to “a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.” that said, historically the word and its usage used to be far more nuanced than it often is in modern society. there are literally an infinite number of ways in which a close relationship without romance (with or without sex) could manifest…
Q&A: “i’m a non-binary person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan?”
anonymous said: so, i’m a non-binary (more specifically trans-masculine) person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan? like, i have a hard time figuring out what to call my sexuality, since i feel that many of the labels for sexuality aren’t really designed with nb people in mind. i just… don’t know if you’ve ever had similar feelings? oh definitely, i have felt that way before. in fact, i was at a non-binary meeting yesterday and this was a subject that came up. some people took no issue with bi, while others did. there was talk of how pan was coined in response to (the assumption of) bi being binarist and erasing or exclusionary of non-binary people and how people felt about that. some felt it was a good thing that pan was coined, others had no opinion as they don’t identify as either and were sorely missing the…
Q&A: “why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing?”
anonymous said: okay. so. why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing? (i have googled this, trust me) …gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that this is in response to this post where no one ever said that they mean the same thing. well fear not, confused anon! unlike Google, i have an entire tag (or four) dedicated to your very question! may i direct you, dear anon, to my #bi vs pan tag in particular, as well as to these two posts in that tag: “what’s the difference between bi and pan?” (hint: there is a difference) “why does it matter if the definitions of bisexuality overlap with the definitions of…?” (hint: it doesn’t matter) and no, lovely anon, my sarcasm is not meant as condescension! i just found the tone of your ask mildly annoying, so i thought i might as well jump onto…
