Q&A: “i’m a non-binary person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan?”
so, i’m a non-binary (more specifically trans-masculine) person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan? like, i have a hard time figuring out what to call my sexuality, since i feel that many of the labels for sexuality aren’t really designed with nb people in mind. i just… don’t know if you’ve ever had similar feelings?
oh definitely, i have felt that way before.
in fact, i was at a non-binary meeting yesterday and this was a subject that came up. some people took no issue with bi, while others did. there was talk of how pan was coined in response to (the assumption of) bi being binarist and erasing or exclusionary of non-binary people and how people felt about that. some felt it was a good thing that pan was coined, others had no opinion as they don’t identify as either and were sorely missing the existence of any word to describe their orientation(s) as a non-binary person. one person spoke of having identified as bi for years before coming out to themself as non-binary and upon coming out, having trouble reconciling their bi identity with their non-binary identity. it was a really diverse group and the group being comprised of Japanese people living in Japan, completely removed from discussions that i come across in English online, made it all the more refreshing to hear those diverse opinions.
anyway, i said all that to say that you’re definitely not alone. i think it’s safe to say that many non-binary bi people have felt this way at one point or another and many still do. even i myself, despite being very confident in my identity as bi and pan now, have felt (and continue to feel to some degree) dismay over how the words and definitions for orientations were created without non-binary people in mind and how that has had lasting repercussions for us all today.
you’re in good company, i’m afraid.