inspired by an old blog post and a New Year's meme, i decided to document the last decade of my journey re: identity as a #Black, #Queer, #Nonbinary & #Asexual person in the form of a video...
content warning: homophobia, suicidal ideation …so, my sister sent me this video out of the blue today. she often sends me links to all kinds of random, obscure videos from the depths of YouTube, to the point that i didn’t bother clicking the link until hours after she’d sent it, thinking it to be another one of those videos. needless to say, i was pleasantly surprised. my appreciation of this video is beyond words. <3
ever tried to come out to someone only to be met with “i already knew that”? before last week, i couldn’t say that i have, but when a coworker thinks their “gaydar” is on-point, but that gaydar ever-so-predictably fails to extend beyond just “GAY”, mental eye rolling, story time and a mini word vomit ensue. what does it mean to be “visibly queer” and why is it that more often than not ‘queer’ is often taken to be synonymous with “gay”? and is there any such thing as “visibly trans” or “visibly non-binary”? don’t expect to find any answers here, as it took me considerable effort just to limit my apathetic word vomit to 5 minutes zzz… two days post-recording and much sleep deprivation later…
anonymous said: This is random but haiii , i just wanted to stop by and say you are amazing.. You helped me a lot with my sexuality(Asexual) and I would like to thank you ^~^ but I do have one question.. How exactly would I ever come out to my parents? ohai, anon. thanks for the kind words. 🙂 also, sorry about my slow response, especially if you were hoping for a reply ahead of National Coming Out Day. i can’t tell you how exactly to come out to your parents. the question of if you should even come out at all and if yes, when? how? where? etc is entirely up to you. not everyone comes out to their parents for various reasons and it’s important that you give due consideration as to whether you should come out to yours or not, not just how to do it. remember that…
※ cw: dysphoria, genitalia mention ….so, in typical me fashion, i ended up coming out as non-binary to my psychiatrist the other day. i’d had no intention of coming out to him, but at the same time i had no intention of making any effort to not come out to him, so. *shrugs* i’d already come out to him as queer / bi / ace during my first appointment, so i already had some means of gauging what his reaction might be like. also, this is the same guy who is overly focused on “results” and “remission” to the point of being laughable / uncomfortable at times, so i already had reservations about the guy from the start.
※ cw: dysphoria, genitalia mention ….so, in typical me fashion, i ended up coming out as non-binary to my psychiatrist the other day. i’d had no intention of coming out to him, but at the same time i had no intention of making any effort to not come out to him, so. *shrugs* i’d already come out to him as queer / bi / ace during my first appointment, so i already had some means of gauging what his reaction might be like. also, this is the same guy who is overly focused on “results” and “remission” to the point of being laughable / uncomfortable at times, so i already had reservations about the guy from the start.
buffintruda said: I’ve explained to my mom a couple of times what asexuality and aromanticism are and how they differ but she can’t remember. She’s very supportive of me being aroace so I don’t think it’s purposeful. Japanese is her first language so it might be better to explain in Japanese, but I can only speak English. I understand if you’re busy, and this isn’t too important, but if you have the time and energy, could you link a website that fully explains it or write your own explanation? Thank you! hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. i’ve decided to respond to it publicly because others may find the information in it useful, but i will gladly take the post down if you’d so prefer. just let me know. i don’t know whether your mom will find this easier to understand or not, but this…
inariedwards said: hi i just read your post on HuffPo and I just love it and it was lovely to see someone the same age as me to talk about being late to the non-binary thing like I was, y’know? 🙂 so anyway, this is just a hello and a thank you 🙂 have an excellent day (re: this post) hello and thanks both for reading the article and for the kind message. 🙂 indeed, it means a lot to me whenever i come across something written / made by someone my age or older pertaining to both their age and being non-binary. i wish i came across things like that more often… again, thanks for the message. have a great day yourself!
back in October i was contacted by an esperantist from Madagascar who’d just come to my city for a year as part of a scholarship program. we arranged to meetup at a restaurant and ended up talking about random shit for literally 4 hours, which was great because it’d been a while since my not-that-social ass had talked to anyone in Esperanto offline, but damn. she is so talkative and i’m… not the most talkative person. anyway, i never intended to come out to her or anything, but i also had no intention of actively avoiding it either and yeah. how it ended up happening and how things have gone so far has been vaguely interesting, so commence word vomit. (ĉi tiu blogaĵo estas anglalingva, sed mi esperantigos ĝin se iu tion deziras.) that night when we’d met at the restaurant i randomly mentioned at some point that i had…
anonymous said: Cuz of Trump pres, I said I’m screwed if he passes any anti LGBT law and I said it out loud and had to explain I’m ace to 2 friends the first I lied to cuz I was scared the 2nd I told them but Idk I’m kinda scared I hope they understand 🙁 i sincerely hope they understand too, anon, and i’m sorry that you’re in the shitty situation that you’re in. :/ having said that, know that regardless of whether they understand or not it’s entirely valid to feel how you feel and what anyone else has to say on the matter is irrelevant. even if they understand what it means to be ace, only you know what it feels to be in your shoes right now or ever. i sincerely hope that your friend(s) respond to what you’ve told them in an appropriate manner, but…
