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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016 /

    anonymous said: Hi, I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing–I’m aroflux, have a qpp and’ve been miffed about the same things. Like, it’s great the term exists, but I feel invalidated by many promotions of it. Love’s not a binary. yeah… i wish people would think of attractions more like this: instead of isolating certain types of attraction and positioning them on a linear scale or even spectrum, as people often do. that said, the above is the 15min product of my sleep deprived brain functioning after 3am on 4hrs of sleep. it’s not thought out and thus is full of holes and problems, so please don’t take it too seriously zzz… edit: someone asked me to define these types of attraction, so i gave it a shot. disclaimer: please bear in mind that these are my own personal definitions as of now (2.24.2016).…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    August 11, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic?”

    February 23, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m having a hard time lately. I have been trying online dating for awhile (tinder etc. guys only) and am finding I get bored really fast and have no interest to carry on conversations or meet up – maybe I just have no desire to date right now. Lately I’ve also been noticing that when I go out I tend to notice the girls in the room before the guys. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic? How do you know the difference between that and just appreciating people who look nice? personally, if i’m experiencing aesthetic attraction (ie. in admiration of someone’s looks), it’s very similar to being in admiration of anything else. i love their sense of style or their overall look and that may trigger the desire to approach them and compliment them, but the admiration or attraction ends there if that’s…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Is there a specific term for being primarily and largely attracted to a gender and…”

    February 11, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is there a specific term for being primarily and largely attracted to a gender, and experiencing occasional attraction to an additional gender? i’m afraid i don’t know of a word for this… perhaps my followers do? i think that there are many people who identify as lesbian, gay, bi, pan etc who would love for such a word to exist so that they could more readily describe their attraction…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic…?”

    October 12, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic because they reinforce genitalia=gender by only having sex with people as the same genitals as their own?   …………..i’m going to respond to this in the format of a list because after sitting on this ask for nearly a day i have decided that that is the best way to keep this response from turning into a rant. when a person (regardless of their sexuality) is attracted to someone else they are attracted to that person’s character, to their self-expression, to their smile, to their identity, to their voice, to who they are as a person. people do not use x-ray vision to look through a person’s clothing to see what genitalia they have and decide whether they find that genitalia attractive or not. why are you equating same-gender attraction with same-genitalia attraction? there actually are people of every orientation who find…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: ” I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo?”

    August 1, 2015 / No Comments

    coffeeartheart said: So I watched your video ‘QAC 03’ and Its a lot to take in. I’m 20 and it just occurred to me that I may be (if I got it right) a Biromantic Homosexual but I was looking for conformation: What if I love ladies sexually in both a visual and physical way and I find guys attractive in a sexual way and want them to hold me, but the moment things get even remotely sexual it’s like I thought of dead puppies. I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo? Sorry for my personal inquiries..   hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. your ask itself is most certainly not something you need apologize for! a common misconception that people have is that bisexual are assumed to be equally attracted to all of the genders that they are attracted to. while…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

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    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I literally feel myself becoming less into women and more into men. What should I do?”

    July 17, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, I have identified as pans but since I have been with my girlfriend for the past 5 years and with another girl 2 years before that ppl just assume I’m lesbian which I never minded until I started to take an interest in guys. I’ve told my gf but I don’t think she understands how much this is eating me up. I literally feel myself becoming less into women and more into men. What should I do? We are planning our future but for me I’m confused about everything I’ve began to accept about myself.   hi, anon. sorry for taking so long to reply. i’m sorry to hear that you’re in such a tough situation. 🙁 i can’t tell you what you should do, but i would suggest that you try again to communicate exactly how you feel to your girlfriend. this is just my opinion…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…do you think there could be other types of attraction?”

    July 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know a lot of the time in discussions about asexual identities people break down attraction into 4 different categories: sexual, romantic, aesthetic, sensual (well and sometimes platonic). But do you think there could be other types of attraction? Sometimes I see people and I feel /something/ but I wouldn’t really categorize it as one of those – argh its so confusing! Am I just experiencing one of those types of attraction in a strange way?? without a doubt there could be (read: probably is) more to attraction than the categories that the ace and aro communities tend to refer to. attraction, as with feelings in general, is an insanely complex thing that most certainly cannot be neatly boxed into or described by categories. it doesn’t get said enough that not everyone even finds the existing categories helpful or meaningful in describing their attraction(s). you could be experiencing…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    June 1, 2018

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: ACES & ENBIES

    May 15, 2017
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Okay so I have a question about sexuality preferences.”

    June 29, 2015 / No Comments

    sorryitsluz said: Okay so I have a question about sexuality preferences. I’ve always been attracted to males (I’m female btw) in both romantic way and a sexual way. I see myself with a male ya know? But lately I’ve realized that I also began to get an interest in females. Although it’s not the same as the interest I have in males. I don’t feel like I would have sex with a female but I do like them and feel like I would flirt/go over just a friendship. Could you help describe this please??   hi.. 🙂 i have a vague idea of what you’re trying to describe, but at the same time i don’t understand enough to be specific in helping you. rather than me trying to put words to something that i’m not personally experiencing, i think it would be better if i gave you resources to help…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all. the girl im dating is trans and…”

    June 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all,the girl im dating is trans shes really great and im attracted to her but im unsure if i would enjoy having sex with her and i do not want her to be offened for not being attracted to her genitals   hello, anon. you don’t seem to be asking a question in this ask, so i’m unsure what kind of response you’re looking for. that said, there seems to be something that you haven’t considered (or at least haven’t mentioned here) that i’d like to point out. while it’s good that you’re concerned about how your lack of attraction* to certain genitalia could be offensive to your girlfriend, you don’t seem to have considered her feelings beyond that? that she may not be comfortable having sex with you to begin with for various reasons. the topic…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “what is romantic attraction vs sensual?”

    April 14, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: i haven’t heard of sensual attraction until recently but i’m having a hard time separating it from romantic attraction? like what //is// romantic attraction vs sensual? sorry if this is a really basic question!   not a “really basic question” at all! honestly, the world at large doesn’t even distinguish between different types of attraction, they’re all considered to be part of the same thing. it’s the asexual and aromantic communities that started dissecting attraction into different categories and it can be very confusing at times. within ace and aro communities, attraction is commonly broken up into 5 categories: platonic, aesthetic, sensual, romantic and sexual attraction. see these posts to find out the basics on all of them: [ 1 ] + [ 2 ]

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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