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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    This Is Fine.

    July 14, 2018 / No Comments

    in 2015, i wrote a random, word vomit of a post about being “WhenTheStarsAlignHyperRo[mantic]” while offhandedly reflecting back on what little ‘data’ i had to work off of in trying to figure out my own experience of romantic attraction (or lack thereof). it was the first second (in so far as i remember) time i had questioned not being (allo)romantic outside of my head (& journal) while shrugging off identifying as being on the aromantic spectrum.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    #SpiritDay2015

    October 15, 2015

    5 years and counting…

    May 14, 2018

    …ok, so i lied about not posting sappy cat updates till i bring him home.

    September 12, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    them diamoric enbian feels.

    November 5, 2017 / No Comments

    the more i question whether i was ever actually attracted to men at all– and if so, in what way?– the more i realize that knowing the answers to such questions isn’t particularly pertinent seeing as how i can’t see myself ever choosing to be in an intimate relationship with a man again anyway. still identify as bi and pan (more so bi these days than pan for reasons not entirely related), but my personal definitions of and relationship with these identities has changed, continues to change and will continue to change over the years. and yet my relationship with and identity as queer continues to be the truest and dearest to me of all.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    commentary: “Where Is The Asexual Representation in LGBTQ Pride?”

    June 10, 2017

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014

    “love languages”?? communication tool.

    May 1, 2019
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I think I may be asexual. I romanticize the idea of being with a male partner later, but then I’m a maladaptive dreamer…”

    August 30, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I have a question. I think I may be asexual. I romanticize the idea of being with a male partner later, but then I’m a maladaptive dreamer. I have issues with trusting people, men specifically. I don’t have any sexual attraction to men, I occasionally get crushes, which are romantic in nature, but never sexual. I do masturbate, but more like a release than actual arousal, Infact I don’t even get aroused that much. Couple moths back I kissed a guy on impulse and it disgusted me. Please help. [ cw: masturbation, arousal mentions ] hello, anon. sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. i don’t know how much help i’ll be as i can’t tell you whether you’re asexual or not (that’s something you’ll ultimately have to decide for yourself), but… someone asked me how to know whether they’re ace or not awhile…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 22, 2016

    QAC 34 – Distancing Yourself From Family

    February 16, 2015

    on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

    May 12, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    them gay enbian feels

    October 16, 2016 / No Comments

    archiving Twitter stuff. again. i should really stop saying meaningful (to me) things on Twitter where it’ll disappear into my feed beyond retrieval. that or, you know, i could just rehash the same thoughts directly on Tumblr… but where’s the fun in that? anyway, random thoughts on being bi / pan and enbian– wooo…. but see, it gets even ““gayer”” because by “nbs like themself” i totally mean non-binary people who are like me and i don’t just mean in that they’re also non-binary. for one, binary people aren’t the only people who can be (hyper)masculine and / or (hyper)feminine. secondly, masculinity / femininity isn’t even a defining factor of attraction for me, even if it can be a potential point of aversion… my understanding of my own attraction may be nearly as nebulous as my actual experience with it, but if there’s one thing that i know for sure it’s that any attraction i do…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    QAC 06 – Coming Out as a Panromantic Asexual

    June 1, 2013

    QAC 50 – Biphobia x Non-Binary Erasure x Binarism || Bi Non-Binary People Exist

    June 12, 2016

    QAC 34 – Distancing Yourself From Family

    February 16, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me…”

    October 15, 2016 /

    anonymous said: I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me… I think this is what I’ve been experiencing a lot, seeing people and wanting to be like they are because they’re so free or happy with how they express themselves, and calling it attraction like my friends call it attraction when they see a guy and want to do him, when it’s not the same at all. ( re: this post ) yeah, attraction is really complicated because there’s so much involved… sometimes even gender envy / admiration can be a involved when one experiences attraction, but yeah. it’s also a thing in and of itself that may not be related to attraction at all. thanks for sharing your experiences, anon. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019

     “Things Asexual People Want You To Know” – BuzzFeed LGBT

    October 29, 2017

    QAC 03 – Romantic Orientations & Other Types of Attraction

    May 24, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me.”

    October 14, 2016 /

    anonymous said: Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me. When I figured out my aroace identity and my predominate aesthetic attraction to femme people I didn’t quite understand how I had convinced myself I was straight for so long. I feel like later after I realized I was masc non binary it explained more of my assumed attraction to masc people as being more along the lines of “i want to be like them”. ( re: this post ) ah, i can relate to the “convinced myself i was straight for so long” thing. i very much feel like gender envy / admiration (among other things) played a part in me falling for the whole “straight by default” (among other) shit that society fed me from Day 1 and that i likely would have broken free of that sooner had i recognized gender envy / admiration for what it…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015

    パレードの皆さん、お疲れ

    April 26, 2015

    Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese!

    November 25, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but…”

    October 13, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but not want a relationship with anyone but girls you most certainly can, anon. aesthetic love does not dictate who you may want to have a relationship with. the only thing that decides that is literally who you want to have a relationship with.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Studio Ghibli’s 『思い出のマーニー』 // “When Marnie Was There”

    August 11, 2014

    #asexual pride shirt

    October 27, 2013

    Black Mirror: “San Junipero”

    July 6, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016 / No Comments

    it’s come to my attention recently that some feelings that i assummed were attraction may have not been attraction at all, but rather “gender envy” or “gender admiration”– feelings of admiration or envy towards someone else’s gender be it their self-expression, gender identity, (lack of) gender roles or socially imposed gender norms– anything pertaining to a person’s gender. never heard of gender envy or gender admiration before…? i’m not surprised, since i just pulled the terms out of my ass for lack of a better way of referring to these gender feels that i’m attempting to navigate. as someone who’s both non-binary and asexual i feel like both of these things have played a part in me mistaking gender envy / admiration for attraction. this is something that i’m just now beginning to give thought to, so please bear with me as i stumble around trying to talk about things.…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    『[4コマ]☆AセクシュアルとAce(エース)☆』

    July 27, 2016

    IF {subcommunity building} THEN {…?}

    March 11, 2019

    identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

    July 21, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic…”

    March 6, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: My friend & I both identify as queer women. She is only attracted to masculine-identified and presenting people with vaginas, and I am only attracted to feminine-identified and presenting people with vaginas. So she only dates masculine women and non-binary afab people and trans men, and I only date feminine women and non-binary afab people. People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic and hers isn’t. But what’s the difference? Am I really transphobic? i can only really tell you my opinion, which i’m sure not everyone will agree with, but… when i first read this ask i had to stop and read it over a few times because i see several things about both attractions that are potentially offensive / cissexist / transphobic. it’s obvious that you’ve tried to word things in a way that avoids misgendering people and associating gender with…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

    February 25, 2017

    comments on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video.

    November 26, 2015

    Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese!

    November 25, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have been questioning my sexuality lately.”

    March 5, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi I have been questioning my sexuality lately. I have once dated a girl but we felt awkward. I have gotten “crushes” on girls but i am not sure if I think I like them or if I actually do. I never really get butterflies looking a them. Please help. Thank you. hi anon, not everyone gets the proverbial “butterflies in their stomach” when they like someone, so it’s probably best not to focus on that when trying to figure out how you feel about someone. if you think you like someone, the only advice i can give you is to just go with that. this may be easier said than done, but try to explore those feelings. give yourself a chance to see whether you do or don’t like that someone. take notice of the ways in which you do like them, if you even like them at…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    #asexual pride shirt

    October 27, 2013

    QAC 02 – The Road to Asexuality

    May 17, 2013

    allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

    February 25, 2017
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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