asks Archives | Page 20 of 33 | Queer As Cat

Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “have you read any books with non-binary characters in them?”

June 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey, Vesper, have you read any books with non-binary characters in them? I found several on amazon Kindle, which is super exciting, but I’m also kinda wary of them. i’m afraid i haven’t had the time or energy to read much of anything for a long while now, so i haven’t read anything with non-binary characters in it apart from webcomics… i can’t personally vouch for the content of any of these lists, but perhaps these book lists from GoodReads.com and the reviews on them will help you find quality books to read? Non-Binary and Genderqueer Characters in YA Fiction Non-Binary (Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Gender-Unspecified, etc) Fiction and Memoirs Gender Non-Binary Fantasy & Science Fiction oh, and: 17 Pathbreaking Non-Binary and Gender-Fluid Novels (not from GoodReads) i totally understand being wary or apprehensive of reading anything with a supposed non-binary character in it. :/ i’d be inclined to research the…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I am having trouble with my gender, and am looking for some advice?”

June 12, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I am having trouble with my gender, and am looking for some advice? I was AFAB, but was stuck in a disgustingly misogynistic environment from the time I was 9 (19 now) until just a few months ago. For the past several years, I’ve had a strong aversion to anything stereotypically seen as “female,” and experienced a lot of issues with the way my body is seen. I’ve tried using every other pronoun set and gender I can think of, and none of them make me feel any better. I don’t know what to do. if you don’t had any animosity or otherwise negative feelings towards your name, you could ask people to always refer to you by your name instead of pronouns. some people prefer to go by their name until they find a pronoun that feels right to them and others go by their name indefinitely,…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused.”

June 10, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Question!! I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused. I think I like quioromantic, but also I feel like idemromantic could apply. Since the two are similar, how would I decide which is more accurate in describing myself? Thanks! -Cio Oh! And also, does it make sense for me to want/be in a romantic relationship even if I (don’t know if I) feel romantic attraction? If one of my close friends asked me on a date I’d quickly agree, but is that fair to them? -Cio i often suggest to people to try an identity / label ‘on for size’ to see how it ‘fits’. sometimes it’s hard to know whether something feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to you just from read definitions and researching the experiences of others who identify as the identity / label that you’re interested in. sometimes things become a lot clearer more quickly by…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “so, i’m 21 and i’ve never been in love or had a crush or anything, and i don’t really find people attractive…”

June 8, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: ok so, i’m 21 and i’ve never been in love or had a crush or anything, and i don’t really find people attractive, and if someone asks me if i think someone is attractive, i get really uncomfortable because i just can’t tell. i like watching porn (m/m and m/f but i don’t really like f/f porn), but i can’t imagine having sex with anyone. another thing is, i don’t really like being called a girl, cause it feels like it’s way to call me weak (i know this is not true, and i don’t want to offend anyone, it’s just how i feel when someone calls me a girl/woman) i don’t care if someone calls me a boy or makes quotation marks while calling me a girl. i think i’m aro ace but i’m not sure, what do you think? i think you should go with what…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual?”

May 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I was wondering if you would be able to tell me what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual? for some people, they can mean the same thing. it really depends on what the terms mean to the person/people identifying as them. a possible difference: a panromantic demisexual may have the potential to experience romantic attraction towards people of any gender, but they experience sexual attraction towards no one until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. a demi-pansexual may have the potential to experience sexual attraction towards people of any gender, but they don’t experience sexual attraction until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. these are but one of many possible ways that…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “you mention neutrois having ‘some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition’. What did you mean by this?”

May 27, 2016 / No Comments

jenovaii said: Hi, I’m at the crux of being upset, but I want to make sure I’m not just misunderstanding. In your discussion of why you coined the word maverique (which is a really nice-sounding term btw), you mention neutrois’ having “some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition”. What did you mean by this? I’m sorry if you’ve already answered some similar clarification; i did try to look through your blog for answers before asking. You can reply privately or not, nbd. hi and thanks for asking for clarification. 🙂 to quote the post in question more fully: i repeatedly saw people (wrongfully, imho) associating and/or confusing neutrois with agender and genderlessness, as well as throwing around some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition. in the above, i never actually said who was throwing around the requirements. i may be wrong, but i’m…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what’s the deal with the fact that lesbian folks get mad if you headcanon characters as ace?”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

titanium-star-bisexual said: hey vesper? sorry to bother you with this again, especially when we kinda already spoke on it, but now people have started getting offended and attacking me for my head canons in my inbox. i wanted to ask if you knew what the deal is with the fact that lesbian folks get mad if you headcanon characters as ace? i thought a person could be both at the same time? ? im just not sure what to do because they are really getting angry. any pointers? hi. 🙂 you’re never a bother, so no worries. but aahhh, i feel like i’m the wrong person to be giving any kind of pointers on how to deal with fandom backlash. i do not involve myself in any kind of fandom, largely in part because i do not want to deal with this kinda stuff. as such, i have zero…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m trying to understand the differences between maverique, agender, gender neutral, and neutrois.”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m trying to understand the differences between maverique, agender, gender neutral, and neutrois. What does being a maverique feel like to you and how does it differ from the other terms? I know what these terms MEAN, but not how these genders are EXPERIENCED. everyone has their own unique experience with gender, so there is no one “maverique experience”, “agender experience”, etc. what being maverique feels like to me isn’t necessarily going to match how other maveriques feel. that disclaimer aside, some links that may help you: “maverique: why i coined the word” – where i talk about why i stopped identifying as neutrois, how being maverique feels to me and how that differs from being gender neutral or genderless. “goodbye neutrois, hello maverique” – video version of the above “how is maverique distinct from agender?” – where i respond to an ask about the difference between being…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “All the backlash over the #GiveSteveABoyfriend thing is making me feel like crap.”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

tw: suicide, death, self harm anonymous said: All the backlash over the #GiveSteveABoyfriend thing is making me feel like crap. I’m Christian and queer, and I’m starting to freak out. Maybe it’s right for queer people to kill themselves? Maybe I shouldn’t exist? anon, please take this moment to close Twitter, stop everything you’re doing and just breathe. relax. listen. regardless of whatever anyone else says, who you are as a Christian and as a queer person is valid. as hard as life may be sometimes, please do not throw yours away. your life, and the life of every queer person, is far more valuable and worth living than you seem to think right now. please block and ignore anything that brings you down like this, including the hashtags #GiveSteveABoyfriend and #GiveCaptianAmericaABoyfriend on Twitter. do not subject yourself to people’s bullshit. there are lots of other people in those tags…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc…”

May 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Ok the thing is that I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc. Just wanted to ask if there’s a term/label/word or something to that. So if that’s a real thing? not everyone’s sexuality is fluid even if their gender is. yes, that is a real thing, regardless of whether there’s a term for it or not. some people use the terms gynosexual / gynoromantic to describe attraction to women, without regard to one’s own gender identity, but… i hesitant to even mention these terms, or their male counterparts androsexual / androromantic, at all because of people defining and using these terms in really problematic ways. as tempting as it may be to use these terms because they’re almost like an ‘easy fix’, i do not recommend them. i’m really only mentioning…

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Vesper H.

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