literal “social distancing” from the ace community
at the time of writing this, the date is March 31st, 2020: just over 2 months since the first case of COVID-19 in America was confirmed...
-
-
“love languages”?? communication tool.
i don't remember when i first heard about Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages (5LL) or in what context; my shotty memory can barely even remember what my MBTI type is...
-
Q&A: “I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend…”
anonymous said: I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend, she said their would only be a few other people there I didn’t know but when we went out there was a lot of people there I didn’t know on top of my friend ignoring me most of the time, I felt alone & anxious . Afterwards she bugged me until I told her what was wrong & now she’s made at me. I feel like I’m crazy I’ve been having panic attacks ever since. I feel like a horrible person & I don’t know what to do you’re most certainly not a horrible person, anon. you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and how you feel / felt (both now and at the time) is understandable and no fault of your own. as far as i’m concerned, your friend has no reason…
-
せーの、よっしゃー！ real life social networking (その②)
so a few weeks ago i unloaded my anxiety on here about going to a ジェンダーフリー / “gender free” party in Tokyo. well, it’s been a few days since the party and after a huge rant like that, you all deserve an update. plus i met another ace today and you’ll never guess what happened.
-
…the things i do to not be a ひきこもり (その①)
ahhh, okay so i just need to vent. feel free to ignore this. someone in an Xジェンダー (Japanese non-binary) group that i’m in posted a link to a party being held in Tokyo on the 26th. there’s often some kinda of gay (literally always with fine print saying ‘men only’) or lesbian (literally always with fine print saying ‘women only’) event going on in Tokyo. more recently there are events aimed at trans men– but anyway, the point is i’m none of those things. and i haven’t really cared that much because i’m the definition of introversion. i have zero interest in night life and all of these events always happen at night. why is it that LGBTQ events more often than not involve late nights, loud music and copious amounts of alcohol??? moving on.
-
Q&A: “Could you help me by defining those types of attraction?”
anonymous said: I get your point about the types of attraction being connected in a web, not a scalar. Could you help me by defining those types of attraction? For example, I know sexual attraction is a desire to have sexual contact, and aesthetic attraction is about appearance. I’m less clear on the others, which are often defined via tautology. (“Romantic attraction is desire to have a romantic relationship.” Ok, then what’s a romantic relationship?) Can you help clear this up? Thanks! (re: this post, however i’m going to update that post to include definitions) it’s true, definitions can sometimes be circular and thus unhelpful/difficult to understand. often because the thing being defined is difficult to define, obviously. i guess i’ll give writing simplistic definitions a shot… i’ve done it before, but never all laid out at once like this. this is quite the task!
-
sigh.
…so now i’m being accused of “attacking the [alterous] community as a whole” because i pointed out the overlapping usage of two concepts/terms and expressed concern over how things are being worded/conceived by some people while being “non aro” and “non alterous”. great. i love how the responsibility is being put on me to go to their askboxes and explain my feelings / view and that i’m being faulted for expressing my feelings on my own blog without coming to them personally instead. as if i have the time or responsibility to go to the askboxes of blogs every time i feel some kinda way about something. and then when one of them does reach out to me privately, there’s more ‘you’re not aro so stop talking.’ all of that aside, i do not understand how they are unable to see how off-putting they’re being. if i was at all leaning towards using alterous for…
-
QAC 43 – Coming to Terms w/ Depression & Anxiety | Mental Health
my journey to self-awareness and self-acceptance regarding the state of my own mental health has been a long one. 15-some-odd years i’ve been struggling with persistent depression and social anxiety and my journey is far from over. in this video i talk about how i went for over a decade without even knowing what “mental health” even was and how i’ve struggled going from that to where i am today, having finally accepted my mental health for what it is. i also briefly mention how the intersectionality of race, sexuality and gender factored into my struggle with mental wellbeing. for those who’d prefer to read most of what was said here, check out this Tumblr post: http://tmblr.co/Z04EMt1y9JmEq the video ended up being fairly long, but oh well. i’m glad i wrote most of it out and posted it to Tumblr first then sat on it for weeks. made talking about…
-
Persistent Depression & Anxiety: My Personal Journey
this post corresponds to a vlog that i will be posting have posted on my channel soon, but i figured i’d write out my feelings now and test the waters on Tumblr first. warning: talk of death and self-harm, along with lots of negativity in general. also, this post is extremely long. 15-some-odd years. that’s how long i guesstimate that i’ve been suffering from depression and anxiety. and yet i’ve only become aware of this over the course of the past 3~ years and have only come to accept it within the last year. like my sexuality and gender, mental health is something i’ve had to learn about and navigate entirely on my own. the journey has been rough
-
QAC 31 – Relationships… Meh.
in this video i think aloud about past relationships (friendships & romantic), social normative bullshit, international relationships and the future. the topic of relationships is something that at this point in my life i don’t care to think much about, let alone talk about, but i gave it a try. perhaps i’m somewhere among the gray-aromantic spectrum in addition to being biromantic / panromantic…? meh. more stuff i don’t feel like facing atm. for more information about types of attraction and/or romantic orientations, watch this video: http://youtu.be/Gi1AoGmo84o
