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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i have a question if i’m agender and i like cis girls and genderqueer people…”

    April 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Eyy, i have a question if i’m agender and i like cis girls and genderqueer people… What’s my sexual orientation? yeaaah, putting a name to one’s orientation does get complicated when non-binary people are involved, doesn’t it? that said, i’m afraid i can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is. that’s something that you’ll have to decide. there are non-binary and/or agender people who are attracted to girls and genderqueer people who identify as bi since bi is defined as attraction to two or more genders, but there are also non-binary and/or agender people who experience similar attraction but don’t identify as bi. what matters most is what word / identity feels “right” to you. whatever word / identity that may be, try running with that and see how it feels. you can always change it if it doesn’t feel right. 🙂 sidenote: i’m assuming you have reasons for…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    April 15, 2018

    QAC 75 – Questioning In Silence?: Identity | Self-Discovery | Stigma || Random Thoughts

    February 27, 2019

    them gay enbian feels

    October 16, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have been wondering if I am trans.”

    April 4, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hello Queer as a cat. I have been wondering if I am trans. Since I was younger I prefured guy things and made friends with guys more easily. But ever since ive moved into Highschool. (Im 17) ive got all female friends. I dislike female clothes and will buy from mens section. When I think about being a boy a perfer it but sometimes not as strongly as if “eh im a girl” a part of me feels like I am a boy. I will always say ever since I was a kid”I wish I was a boy” I am very confused. thank you. Same person about questioning gender. I never really thought much about this until learning more about trans and making trans friends hi. 🙂 it’s not uncommon at all for someone to begin actively questioning one’s gender after learning that not everyone identifies as the…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    March 5, 2017

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying.”

    March 29, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying. I don’t know if I want to label myself but I feel like I have to for the people surrounding me. Let me not have a label if I don’t want to. Let me live. I don’t know where to go from now. anon, you most certainly don’t have to label yourself and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being sure of your sexuality or anything else in life. even if others are obnoxious enough to try and co-pilot or even hijack it, the fact is that you are in control of your life and identity. you and only you. what you do from here is entirely up to you. hell, you don’t even have to do anything at all if you don’t want to. discovering something new about yourself can certainly be terrifying, especially at…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Is it possible to become asexual as you get older?”

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it possible to become asexual as you get older? Like when I started puberty my hormones were through the roof so I’d masturbate but I don’t think I’ve ever really liked sex? It just doesn’t seem necessary or pleasing to me :s hi, anon. 🙂 a person’s sexuality can certainly change overtime. it’s worth noting, though, that horniness (or lack there of) has more to do with sex drive or libido than it has to do with one’s sexual orientation. anyone of any sexual orientation can have a low libido just as anyone of any sexual orientation can have a high libido, even an asexual person. in other words, your sexuality very well may have changed, but you could also be an asexual who just so happens to have (or have had) a libido and masturbates (or masturbated). even one’s libido can change without one’s sexual orientation…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    December 15, 2019

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    July 9, 2018

    commentary: “Where Is The Asexual Representation in LGBTQ Pride?”

    June 10, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago but…”

    March 27, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago. but in the past few months i’ve been realizing that i may not be asexual. i don’t know what i am and i don’t want to label it just yet. i also want to tell my friends, but i feel like they’re getting tired of me saying different things (i came out as bi, then ace & trans, then this) and that there’s no point in me saying anything if i don’t even know what i am. i want to say something, but i don’t even know if i should. hi, anon. if you want to say something to your friends, then i think you should? there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just flat out saying that you’re not sure how you feel and/or that you’re questioning. that you’re continuously learning and discovering things about…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    April 5, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them…. and i never really felt like that…”

    March 23, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: hi, ive been thinking lately, people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them all along but only understanding it then. and i never really felt like that, not in a way i realize now. and maybe it was the way i was introduced to lgbt+ stuff (im really forever grateful for having someone to do that cause it really got me out of a toxic homophobic mindset earlier on) but it makes me wonder if im really trans, bc like being trans makes me really happy, but it was never really a click for me more of a slow, ‘hey! Maybe this is me?’, idk i feel like i probably could’ve gone on my whole life being a ‘woman’ if i didn’t know about trans/nonbinary people :/ its really upsetting cause now im starting to think, what if im just doing…

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    Vesper H.

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    photos from Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)

    May 7, 2014

    QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet (Bi/Panromantic Non-binary Asexual)

    February 24, 2014
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Am I trans. What can I do to find out if I am.”

    March 9, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey queer as a cat. Ive been questioning my gender lately. I have always felt more guyish than female. In saying that I have long hair and wear dresses. Am I trans. What can I do to find out if I am. Thank you Anon from before who is wondering about their gender. I still do girly things? Does that make me less trans? Am I even trans I am so confused hi. 🙂 despite what society tells you, anyone can have long hair. anyone can wear dresses. anyone can do “girly” or “guyish” things. it’s not these things that decide what your gender is or whether or not you’re trans. based on what you’ve said, i’m assuming that society considers you to be female and you’re questioning whether you are female or not? rather than questioning whether you act enough ‘like a boy’, perhaps try turning that question…

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    Vesper H.

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    September 18, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have been questioning my sexuality lately.”

    March 5, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi I have been questioning my sexuality lately. I have once dated a girl but we felt awkward. I have gotten “crushes” on girls but i am not sure if I think I like them or if I actually do. I never really get butterflies looking a them. Please help. Thank you. hi anon, not everyone gets the proverbial “butterflies in their stomach” when they like someone, so it’s probably best not to focus on that when trying to figure out how you feel about someone. if you think you like someone, the only advice i can give you is to just go with that. this may be easier said than done, but try to explore those feelings. give yourself a chance to see whether you do or don’t like that someone. take notice of the ways in which you do like them, if you even like them at…

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    Vesper H.

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    October 18, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic?”

    February 23, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m having a hard time lately. I have been trying online dating for awhile (tinder etc. guys only) and am finding I get bored really fast and have no interest to carry on conversations or meet up – maybe I just have no desire to date right now. Lately I’ve also been noticing that when I go out I tend to notice the girls in the room before the guys. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic? How do you know the difference between that and just appreciating people who look nice? personally, if i’m experiencing aesthetic attraction (ie. in admiration of someone’s looks), it’s very similar to being in admiration of anything else. i love their sense of style or their overall look and that may trigger the desire to approach them and compliment them, but the admiration or attraction ends there if that’s…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet (Bi/Panromantic Non-binary Asexual)

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    May 22, 2017

    QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009

    July 9, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts

    usage of “alterous” vs “platonic” in aro discourse

    February 22, 2016 / 3 Comments

    i hesitate to post this at all*, but i’ve been casually mulling it over for a little while now and am getting no where in keeping this to myself, so here goes nothing… there’s a relatively new word going around on Tumblr: alterous.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    June 10, 2017

    「私はゲイ」自分の言葉で、自分を語る / “I’m Gay” – Talking About Myself By Myself: Gay men talk about their own identity.

    May 6, 2016

    one of many reasons why “QUEER” means so much to me.

    September 23, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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