opinion Archives | Page 7 of 16 | Queer As Cat

Gender[queer], Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “I’m a female androgyne & clothes are a problem for me.”

September 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I really like your style. I’m a female androgyne & clothes are a problem for me. I’m skinny & short & I like men’s clothes but they don’t fit me because they are all too big for me. So I hate how I look like. I see pictures on the internet with beautiful women wearing great men’s clothes, they are divine but where I live there’s not a single shop for genderqueer. When I’m trying to tell this to someone, girls are telling me that with my body I can wear what I want. Yes… in a shop for women thanks, anon. 🙂 i totally share your frustration when it comes to shopping for clothes…. i, too, prefer clothes that tend to be in “men’s” sections. i’m also (very) short and have more curves than i care to admit… that, combined with how selective and uncompromising i…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “I wanted to ask if there were any gender neutral ways to imply that someone is your child that isn’t the word “child”…”

August 24, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper! First off i’d like to say that you’re amazing and very inspirational to me :). I wanted to ask if there were any gender neutral ways to imply that someone is your child that isn’t the word “child”. As an adult that prefers neutral pronouns, I don’t find it fitting for my parents to refer to me as a child. How would you prefer your parents to refer to you in that circumstance? hello, anon. thank you for the kind words. 🙂 personally, even though i’m an adult, i don’t particularly mind being referred to as “child” so long as it’s within the context of a relationship between a parent and their offspring. unlike “kid” which would really rub me the wrong way regardless of who’s using it in what context, “child” when used by my parents in reference to me feels more about me being their offspring then…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

let’s talk: the trans/cis binary

August 19, 2016 / 1 Comment

note: this post is also a YouTube video, which was made in response to commentary made on another video about identifying as non-binary but not trans. you may want to watch the latter video before reading this. let’s talk about gender. let’s talk how you may or may not be aware of the false binary or dichotomy of male / female gender and how it erases non-binary people. then, let’s talk about how that isn’t the only binary that exists involving gender and identity. let’s talk about how even if a non-binary person manages to navigate the male / female gender binary within society and exist openly as a non-binary person, they’re then faced with yet another binary, another dichotomy from within the very communities that they should at least be able to feel safer in. let’s talk about how within the LGBTQIA there is / are: questionnaires, registration forms,…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 53 – The Trans/Cis Binary | Non-Binary vs Trans Identity | Let’s Talk

August 19, 2016 / No Comments

as awareness of non-binary people continues to grow and awareness of the fallacy that is male/female gender binary grows with it, is a new gender binary taking its place? there is a common assumption within society in general, but dually so within the LGBT community, that anyone who isn’t trans is cis and vice versa… if you’re someone who believes this to be true, i’d like to invite you to join in on a conversation. let’s talk! even if you don’t believe that to be true, have a seat. let’s talk! but before we do, do me a favor and watch this video. ———– RELATED LINKS ———– QAC 52 – Non-Binary vs Trans Identity | “Transitioning” “Let’s Talk: The Trans/Cis Binary” (Tumblr post)

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Vesper H.

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Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 52 – Non-Binary vs Trans Identity | “Transitioning” | #NonBinaryYT

August 16, 2016 / No Comments

as someone who is non-binary but who does not identify as trans, i have a rather complicated relationship with the term and concept of “transitioning” and with trans-specific community, resources, etc in general. this video, a submission to the #NonBinaryYT collaboration project, is about my personal relationship with trans identity, my coming out process, what has and hasn’t changed for me during the 4 years that i’ve identified as non-binary, thoughts on “transitioning” as non-binary and conflicted feelings about rejecting trans identity. ————– TIME POINTS ———— @ 00:00 – Intro: What is #NonBinaryYT? ——– (ie. you should totally participate if you’re non-binary and interested) @ 01:00 – Q1. Do you identify as trans? What does that mean to you? ——– (ie. not identifying as trans and why that is uuggghh) @ 02:58 – Q2. What did coming out for the first time look like for you? ——– (ie. discovering the word…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m the anon reading lexicons in order to find a word…”

August 2, 2016 /

anonymous said: I’m the anon reading lexicons in order to find a word to describe myself. Thank you very much for taking so much time for me, for your long, very interesting and helpful answer. In fact, I was only looking for a single word because everybody here seems to have one (they say ‘hi I’m this or that’) and it was driving me crazy that there wasn’t one for me. I thought everyone but me had a word that suited completely. You put my mind at ease. You’re right I should find my own combination of words. (re: this post) no problem, anon. thanks for coming back and responding. 🙂 even though it may feel like everyone has a particular word / identity / label that describes them completely, rest assured that that totally is not the case. not everyone is able to (or even wants to) put a…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: ” can’t find a word that completely describes myself. Perhaps you can help.”

August 1, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Despite reading lexicons, I can’t find a word that completely describes myself. Perhaps you can help. Description of my person: AFAB, I love and I’m happy with my female body, don’t want a male body; crossdressing, men’s clothes, very feminine underwear, make-up, long hair, love my androgynous face. Psychologically sometimes really feel like I’m a man, sometimes quite like a girl, rarely completely like a girl. …this may make me come across as an ass, but i feel obligated to point out that you’re not going to find any one word that encompasses what just took you 46 words to convey. in fact, i’m sure that even those 46 words are only scratching at the surface of who you are as a person. …and i know that all i’ve just done is state the obvious. bear with me. for many people, when it comes to finding words to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Are there any good reasons why the split attraction model should be something only a-spec people use?”

July 31, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Are there any good reasons why the split attraction model should be something only a-spec people use? A-spec aren’t the only people with crossed orientations. as far as i’m concerned, there is no reason why someone couldn’t or shouldn’t make use of the split attraction model if they feel it meaningful to do so. anyone who insists on telling someone that something that they find meaningful or helpful for themself is “actually more harmful than helpful” needs to stop and think about why it is that they feel it alright to attempt to undermine someone else’s agency over their own identity like that. the reason that i always see being upheld as for why the split attraction model is “more harmful than helpful” for people who aren’t asexual and / or aromantic always boils down to “because it was harmful for me.” in fact, after commenting on the post that…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
『[4ｺﾏ]☆Ｘジェンダー☆』

[Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Japan[ese], Queer[ness]

『[4ｺﾏ]☆Ｘジェンダー☆』

July 31, 2016 / No Comments

…sigh. you know, i really want to be happy about these LGBTQIA 4-koma comics that Chii is doing to try and help raise awareness for lesser known genders and sexualities, but gah. i just can’t. because i suck. the linked comic that went up a couple days ago about Xジェンダー / non-binary is the last one i’m going to whinge over, i swear. for now. but first, an English translation of the comic to give context to my whinging. What’s “X-gender”? Xジェンダー (X-gender) people who, without deciding between “male” or “female”, take the stance or identity of being neither gender. referred to as “MtX” if designated “male” at birth and “FtX” if designated “female” at birth, however also referred to simply as “X” when not wanting to refer to one’s designated gender at birth. there are many definitions, but it goes something like this. red and white*: i want to be between male and female.…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual…”

July 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous post: I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual. Is asexual generally used by all aces on the aromantic spectrum or do arospec aces who sometimes feel romantic attraction (such as grey aromantics) typically prefer to use nonsexual? I’d like to get more involved with the ace community when I (hopefully) move to Japan, but I feel like the Japanese terminology doesn’t even let me describe myself… (re: this post) bearing in mind that everything i’m about to say is based entirely on my own limited experience and observation… i can count the number of times i’ve met or heard of a Japanese person actively identifying in some way as gray or demi on one hand. generally speaking, awareness of nuanced ace & aro spectrum identities / orientations is hardly a thing among Japanese aces. the only time i hear any explicit mention of…

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Vesper H.

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