opinion Archives | Page 11 of 16 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A not Q&A: “so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago but…”

March 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago. but in the past few months i’ve been realizing that i may not be asexual. i don’t know what i am and i don’t want to label it just yet. i also want to tell my friends, but i feel like they’re getting tired of me saying different things (i came out as bi, then ace & trans, then this) and that there’s no point in me saying anything if i don’t even know what i am. i want to say something, but i don’t even know if i should. hi, anon. if you want to say something to your friends, then i think you should? there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just flat out saying that you’re not sure how you feel and/or that you’re questioning. that you’re continuously learning and discovering things about…

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Vesper H.

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[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them…. and i never really felt like that…”

March 23, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: hi, ive been thinking lately, people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them all along but only understanding it then. and i never really felt like that, not in a way i realize now. and maybe it was the way i was introduced to lgbt+ stuff (im really forever grateful for having someone to do that cause it really got me out of a toxic homophobic mindset earlier on) but it makes me wonder if im really trans, bc like being trans makes me really happy, but it was never really a click for me more of a slow, ‘hey! Maybe this is me?’, idk i feel like i probably could’ve gone on my whole life being a ‘woman’ if i didn’t know about trans/nonbinary people :/ its really upsetting cause now im starting to think, what if im just doing…

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Vesper H.

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[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A not Q&A: “They don’t face opression at all is what I believe.”

March 23, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: They don’t face opression at all is what I believe. I don’t think it’s about ((enough)) I think it’s about being opressed at all and they aren’t. They face a stigma and I’ll call that shit out when I see it but, I don’t think it’s opression at all? Idk just my opinion. i understand that that’s your opinion, but i’m not sure what you want me to say? like i’ve said before, imho whether heteroromantic aces face oppression or not is beside the point. my stance on whether they have the right to identify as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community remains a firm “yes” because like i said, oppression isn’t the determining factor for me. if you’re looking for me to take a stance on whether heteroromantic aces face oppression at all or whether what they face is stigma, i’m afraid i’m not going to give you…

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Vesper H.

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October 16, 2016
Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “the thing about defining the community based on oppression is that…”

March 22, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: the thing about defining the community based on oppression is that like, none of us can even really compare our oppression to trans women/transfeminine ppl (and more specifically trans WOC). transmisogyny is significantly more oppressive and violent than any homophobia, biphobia, a-phobia, etc that cis people, regardless of sexuality, face. If a line is going to be drawn based on “how oppressed are you”, then it makes no sense to lump, idk, cis white gay guys in with twoc IMHO. Any non-cishet person who doesnt experience transmisogyny and tries to say that ace people arent oppressed enough to be in ‘the community’ is directly comparing their own oppression to that of trans women of color which is really inappropriate imho. IDK just my two cents on the matter. (re: this post) i get the point you’re making, but i’m not really comfortable with how it’s being made because…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A not Q&A: “I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community…”

March 22, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community, isnt the opression we shared what ended up bringing us together (re: this post) …this response started out short, but then it turned into me venting. sorry, anon. sure, for some it is a major– possibly even a determining– factor of their personal identity as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. but like i said, imho, it isn’t the determining factor. even if one person does feel like it is the determining factor of their personal identity, it is a mistake to then assume that that holds true for everyone. not everyone’s identity is determined in part or entirely by their oppression. on top of that, oppression isn’t even something one can measure to determine whether someone is “oppressed enough” to have the right to identify as a part of the community. if someone was to try and measure…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
Q&A

Q&A: “I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community…”

March 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So, I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community. I was wondering, do you think there’s racism in the ace community? I’ve never noticed any, but then I’m white, so that’s not rlly my call. I think maybe it has to do with the use of the term allosexual, which has been said to have racist and transphobic roots. What’s your opinion on “allosexual”, and do you think “het aces” shld be included in the LGBTQ+ community? there are racist (and transphobic) people everywhere and the ace community is no exception to that. however, there being racist (and transphobic) people in the ace community doesn’t make the entire community racist (or transphobic). that would be an overgeneralization. people have made the claim that the term allosexual is racist and/or transphobic, but i…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
Gender[queer], Q&A

Q&A: “does maverique feel fixed and unchanging and exactly the same sensation to the same degree every day…”

March 12, 2016 / No Comments

Leo said: I wanted to ask, does maverique feel fixed and unchanging and exactly the same sensation to the same degree every day or is it multifaceted with many qualities that shift up and down in intensity to reflect your inner feelings from day to day? [1] But it never feels like a different gender from one day to the next, it is just more shiny or soft or open or big or loud because of how you’re feeling inside? Like a person can be quiet, energetic, solemn, shy, angry etc from day to day [2] but their identity as the same person is consistent over time. My understanding of maverique is that it’s very clearly unrelated to the gender binary, removed entirely from that concept, full of inner conviction and essentially my gender=me. [3] I hope that I’ve made some sense. It was a lot to try and fit into one…

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Vesper H.

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random thoughts on ‘genderqueer’ & ‘non-binary’

March 9, 2016 / No Comments

unknought wrote in: “What you describe as feeling “degendered” by being called non-binary seems similar to how some people eventually started feeling about the term/identity genderqueer.” Would you be able to say more about this and/or provide a source? I had just been asking people about how nonbinary seems to have taken the place genderqueer had five years ago, and it sounds like you have an idea what’s been going on there? (in reference to this post) all that follows is nothing more than my opinion and personal observation, but… reflecting back over the past 6 years in which i personally have gone from identifying as genderqueer to not using the term to describe myself at all anymore, i feel like i’ve seen three major things happen within online genderqueer and non-binary communities that have ultimately resulted in the decline in usage of the word “genderqueer” by some people?…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out?”

March 8, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey! So a hypothetical question about that last post. (Pardon my assumptions on this kind of attraction, I’m aroace and trying to learn) Say someone is panromantic, but are not sexually attracted to/repulsed by penises. What if they’re dating someone for a while and are romantically very interested in them. They go to the bedroom for the first time and find out the person they were dating has a penis. Would it be transphobic of them to turn down the sex and instead just cuddle it out? (in reference to this post) if at any point or for any reason a person is uncomfortable with or does not desire sex, they are never in the wrong for voicing that and saying no to sex. this would not be transphobic at all, imho.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “do you have any opposition to non-medically transitioning nonbinary people using…”

March 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: do you have any opposition to non-medically transitioning nonbinary people using transgender as an identity term? saw your ask with the project person and am wondering i’m not against anyone identifying as transgender. a person’s desire to transition (or lack of desire to transition) says nothing of their identity as a trans person. my response in the post in question was strictly speaking of my personal relationship with trans identity. i totally stand in solidarity with anyone, non-binary or not, who identifies as trans but does not want to (or cannot) transition medically or otherwise. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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