i'm longwinded when i'm tired Archives | Page 3 of 4 | Queer As Cat

Japan[ese], Q&A

Q&A: “Could a fairly feminine looking person get away with boku?”

March 2, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: actually I’ve been wondering for awhile what “I” word you use in Japanese, I’ve been learning Japanese and just wondering as far as queer communities in Japan if they ever step out of the (w)atashi is for girls/neutral and boku/ore is for boys thing. Could a fairly feminine looking person get away with boku? just wondering about what the situation actually is surrounding those words usage. i don’t use any particular set of first person pronouns ( i / me / my / mine) because i’m not comfortable using any of them. rather, i use various different pronouns or no pronoun at all depending on the register i’m speaking in, the situation i’m in, who i’m speaking to, how i’m feeling that particular day at that particular time, etc etc. thankfully Japanese is a very flexible language when it comes to pronouns in general and doesn’t even require usage of…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…being nonbinary, does it ever get difficult to navigate different aspects of your life because of you being nonbinary?”

February 22, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I wanted to ask being nonbinary, does it ever get difficult to navigate different aspects of your life because of you being nonbinary, specifically things like dealing with career, or a hobby or a passion that you have, where it feels like you have to hide or compromise who you are in order to retain that aspect of your life. I ask because right now i’m thinking of transitioning and even though i’m financially independant it feels like my different interests are tying me down 1/2 and that in order not to loose those interests I have to compromise various aspects of me being nonbinary, like for instance I do singing and karate and it feels like if I ever wanted to start transitioning I’d have to give those things up or say that i’m binary trans in order to justify transitioning, It feels like i’m at…

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Vesper H.

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…phone calls.

February 8, 2017 / No Comments

…i’d seen a post or two come across my dashboard related to what i’m about to go off about, but i never imagined that something like this would target me or my family. oh, how naive of me. anyway, i’m simultaneously pissed off, frustrated and worried and Twitter isn’t enough to contain these feels right now. on my way to work today i random get a message from mom saying “Have you been saying things that you shouldn’t say online? The government is monitoring you.” of course i’m like “whaaaat the fuck you talking about, mom?” my mom is no “conspiracy theorist”, but she did live through shit that you read about in textbooks and given the shit going on in America these days, there is immediate cause for alarm when those words come from her. apparently people claiming to be a ““research group”” (who won’t / haven’t told her an actual…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “how do I know if I’m ace?”

December 26, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, I have a question : how do I know if I’m ace? For example if I have never kissed someone how do I know I don’t like to kiss someone? Maybe is a stupid question but I’m new on this blog hi anon, “how do i know if i’m ____?” is a very common question that many people ask themself and / or others at one point or another and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. despite being a common question, the answer to that question isn’t a simple one and will differ from person to person because there is no one “true” answer, imho. the following is just my longwinded personal opinion. before i attempt to answer your question i’d like to point out that whether you like or don’t like kissing is not an indication of whether you’re ace or not. if you don’t like kissing…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend…”

November 30, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend, she said their would only be a few other people there I didn’t know but when we went out there was a lot of people there I didn’t know on top of my friend ignoring me most of the time, I felt alone & anxious . Afterwards she bugged me until I told her what was wrong & now she’s made at me. I feel like I’m crazy I’ve been having panic attacks ever since. I feel like a horrible person & I don’t know what to do you’re most certainly not a horrible person, anon. you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and how you feel / felt (both now and at the time) is understandable and no fault of your own. as far as i’m concerned, your friend has no reason…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I have a question about the definition of bisexuality.”

October 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I have a question about the definition of bisexuality. I’ve been using a “same + different” -definition and that’s what I’ve seen being used the most. “Two or more” is alright, but if “same gender” is not required, why is it not under heterosexuality? I’m assuming the reason is political, but I want to be sure. hello anon, i’m guessing that this ask is related to this post where i say that i personally find defining bi as attraction to “same and different / other gender(s)” to be problematic. there’s actually nothing “political” about why a person doesn’t have to experience attraction towards people of the “same” or “similar” gender to be bi. that is, unless you consider the feelings and experiences of bi non-binary people to be “political,” which i sincerely hope not. the reason why i personally, as well as many others, find the “same and different / other” definition of bi to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to?”

October 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: i’ve been wondering lately – is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to? why CAN’T an orientation define who you’re attracted to based on other factors? i get that would allow for things like sapiosexual and whatnot which is…yikes. but i almost feel like that’s PART of why ppl have like…a kneejerk reaction to “”mogai”” orientations maybe? idk i’m probably missing something abt it not all orientations are based solely on which gender(s) someone is attracted to. off the top of my head, some examples of orientations that aren’t solely based on that (if even based on that at all) are lith*, demi*, gray*, and a* but there are many more, of course. that said, i’m guessing you had “The Big 3″ orientations that society most commonly recognizes in mind when writing this ask. don’t quote me on this, but i feel…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it.”

October 17, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: my friend’s best friend recently came out as trans and my friend only refers to them as their preferred name. there’s nothing wrong with that, except i told the same friend my preferred name a year ago and she rarely uses it, even when it’s just us. we’ve talked about it, but she still continues to use my birth name around me. i’m not really sure what to do, since we’ve already talked about it, but it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it wow, what an incredibly shitty thing to do. :/ this isn’t actual advice so much as it just being what i personally might do in such a situation, but…. i imagine that i’d handle this in much the same way i would someone who insists on misgendering me. that is, i’d stop responding to the…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship?”

October 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship? Does it mean someone you would want to be in a queerplatonic with? you’re far from the only one who’s confused by the term “platonic attraction”, anon. imho, such confusion and misunderstanding is partially to blame for why some people are quick to make light of terms like “panplatonic”, “aplatonic”, etc. such confusion and misunderstanding is also part of the reason why some people prefer to use other terms instead. the word “platonic” is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as referring to “a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.” that said, historically the word and its usage used to be far more nuanced than it often is in modern society. there are literally an infinite number of ways in which a close relationship without romance (with or without sex) could manifest…

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Vesper H.

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done and done.

September 27, 2016 / No Comments

just submitted my absentee ballot for the upcoming US general election….! this is my third time voting in a general election from abroad, but it’s the first time that i’ve been able to do so online. thank you, Nevada, for sucking less this year! took you long enough, goddamn. if Trump wins this election, i fucking swear to Cat God….

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Vesper H.

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