FAQ Archives | Page 2 of 3 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I think I’m bi? But I’ve never been attracted to women before so why now?”

March 6, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper. So Idk how to put it but I identified as a straight girl my whole life until recently. I’ve been getting attracted to women. I think I’m bi? But I’ve never been attracted to women before so why now? Idk how to feel about this bc I know ppl have discourse about whether you’re born LGBT+ or you can change into it and I’m confused. I’ve never thought about being romantic with women before but right now I’d be totally ok. idk Why all of a sudden. I feel fake idk is this a normal feeling? hi, anon. i’m no expert, but i think it’s safe to say that what you’re experiencing is not uncommon at all. like many things in life, sexuality can change. that is to say that who one is attracted to, the ways in which you experience (or even don’t experience) that…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi…”

March 1, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi, i can see myself holding her hand and kissing her and i’m okay with that, i wouldn’t mind that. i’ve never felt this way about a girl before and honestly i’m so confused. i’ve never seen myself in the way w a girl before. most of my friends are bi, or gay, i am one out of the three straights in our group. but i’m not sure anymore any advice ? it can be really confusing, disorientating and even scary to be faced with feelings / experiences that you’ve never had before. perhaps try thinking of it as an opportunity to explore something new rather than it being something that you have to figure out about yourself. life in general is an adventure that we’re all living rather than…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “how do I know if I’m ace?”

December 26, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, I have a question : how do I know if I’m ace? For example if I have never kissed someone how do I know I don’t like to kiss someone? Maybe is a stupid question but I’m new on this blog hi anon, “how do i know if i’m ____?” is a very common question that many people ask themself and / or others at one point or another and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. despite being a common question, the answer to that question isn’t a simple one and will differ from person to person because there is no one “true” answer, imho. the following is just my longwinded personal opinion. before i attempt to answer your question i’d like to point out that whether you like or don’t like kissing is not an indication of whether you’re ace or not. if you don’t like kissing…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “There’s a guide that answers a lot of questions about [asexuality]… Do know where I can find it?”

November 8, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I’m but to a friend but I don’t think I explained asexuality really well. There’s a guide that answers a lot of questions about it, but I’m having trouble finding it. It’s like an ace 101 thing. Do know where I can find it? i’m afraid that i don’t know which guide you’re referring to, but maybe these links could also be of some help to you? ”Q & Ace: An Introduction to Asexuality” – AsexualityArchive “Asexuality 101″ – Asexual Awareness Week Downloadable Resources – Asexual Awareness Week “Asexuality 101″ – A Trivial Knot “What Is Asexuality?” – WhatIsAsexuality.com if anyone has anything to add to this, please feel free to.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “How do I tell someone I’m non-binary in Japanese?”

September 4, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: How do I tell someone I’m non-binary in Japanese?

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing?”

June 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: okay. so. why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing? (i have googled this, trust me) …gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that this is in response to this post where no one ever said that they mean the same thing. well fear not, confused anon! unlike Google, i have an entire tag (or four) dedicated to your very question! may i direct you, dear anon, to my #bi vs pan tag in particular, as well as to these two posts in that tag: “what’s the difference between bi and pan?” (hint: there is a difference) “why does it matter if the definitions of bisexuality overlap with the definitions of…?” (hint: it doesn’t matter) and no, lovely anon, my sarcasm is not meant as condescension! i just found the tone of your ask mildly annoying, so i thought i might as well jump onto…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m trying to understand the differences between maverique, agender, gender neutral, and neutrois.”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m trying to understand the differences between maverique, agender, gender neutral, and neutrois. What does being a maverique feel like to you and how does it differ from the other terms? I know what these terms MEAN, but not how these genders are EXPERIENCED. everyone has their own unique experience with gender, so there is no one “maverique experience”, “agender experience”, etc. what being maverique feels like to me isn’t necessarily going to match how other maveriques feel. that disclaimer aside, some links that may help you: “maverique: why i coined the word” – where i talk about why i stopped identifying as neutrois, how being maverique feels to me and how that differs from being gender neutral or genderless. “goodbye neutrois, hello maverique” – video version of the above “how is maverique distinct from agender?” – where i respond to an ask about the difference between being…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What is the difference between maverique and aporagender?”

May 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! What is the difference between maverique and aporagender? Thanks! i’m going to copy and paste the answer to this because i’m especially low on time and energy today. sorry, anon! What’s the difference between aporagender and maverique? They seem similar. Aporagender and maverique are similar. In fact, they were coined around the exact same time by two different people. What a coincidence! However, according to the coiner of aporagender, aporagender can be used as an umbrella term. It can potentially encompass many genders, whereas maverique is a single, specific gender. That, in my opinion, is the biggest difference between aporagender and maverique. check out the FAQ page of @maveriques where you might find answers to other questions you have. my (and @maveriques‘) askbox is always open, though, if you still have questions. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual?”

February 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: This may be a stupid question to ask, but what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual? I think I may be one, but then again I do have my doubts and other people say I’m not, but I’m just not sure. Thanks if you can answer this, sorry if I’m a bother hi, anon. this isn’t a stupid question, nor are you a bother. 🙂 there are no “qualifications” as such, all that really matters (in so far as i’m concerned) is that identifying as asexual feels right for you. the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing sexual attraction towards no one, at least in part because many asexual people feel like that describes them. however, that isn’t the only way to come to identify as asexual and it certainly doesn’t describe everyone who is asexual. the determining factor to whether you’re asexual or not…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What are some good ways to feel your gender?”

January 19, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: What are some good ways to feel your gender? I don’t know how to feel what my gender really is because I have no one to talk to about this irl. hi! sorry for taking so long to reply to your ask. you might find this post helpful, where i talk about what gender is (to me) and how i have a strong sense of my own gender. also, check out this post where i talk about what makes me so sure of my own gender. the only real advice i have, if any, is to keep in mind that it’s absolutely okay to not be sure of your gender; to try to be more mindful of your own feelings and experiences (past & present); to allow yourself the time and space to question yourself. it’s all too easy to feel like you have to put a specific…

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Vesper H.

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