asexual spectrum Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Japan[ese], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual…”

July 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous post: I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual. Is asexual generally used by all aces on the aromantic spectrum or do arospec aces who sometimes feel romantic attraction (such as grey aromantics) typically prefer to use nonsexual? I’d like to get more involved with the ace community when I (hopefully) move to Japan, but I feel like the Japanese terminology doesn’t even let me describe myself… (re: this post) bearing in mind that everything i’m about to say is based entirely on my own limited experience and observation… i can count the number of times i’ve met or heard of a Japanese person actively identifying in some way as gray or demi on one hand. generally speaking, awareness of nuanced ace & aro spectrum identities / orientations is hardly a thing among Japanese aces. the only time i hear any explicit mention of…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…the way mainstream media sexualizes wlw relationships so dramatically is making it really hard for me to figure out…”

July 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I’m pretty sure I’m bi, but I’m on the ace spectrum and the way mainstream media sexualizes wlw relationships so dramatically is making it really hard for me to figure everything out. Does anyone else struggle with this? How do I get past it? i can’t speak for anyone else but myself, but at the same time i am fairly certain that many people (ace spectrum or not, woman themself or not) struggle with the hypersexualization of women in general in the media and trying to figure out one’s own feelings in spite of that hypersexualization. however, you’re not just anyone. trying to figure out your feelings in the midst of all this hypersexualization as a woman loving woman (wlw) yourself (or so i assume; apologies if i’m wrong) makes the stuff in the media feel all the more potent and difficult to navigate, i think. wlw…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 31 – Relationships… Meh.
November 17, 2014

*scribble scribble*
September 15, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels!”

June 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels! I identify under both the ace and aro umbrellas, but it’s weird and hard to explain and trying to say I’m bi/pan/poly/etc (even without -romantic) carries that weird connotation that doesn’t fit me. I actually think you just managed to put my feelings into words??? I’m having an epiphany and I need to go think about this more. (re: this post) i know right? i’m also very fond of ‘queer’ as a word and identity and identify strongly with it. sometimes i refer to myself as a ‘queer asexual’ rather than as a ‘bi / pan asexual’ for the sake of brevity and/or to avoid assumptions, depending on the situation and who i’m talking to. whenever i do that, ‘queer’ isn’t acting as a replacement for ‘bi’ or ‘pan’, but rather as yet another…

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Vesper H.

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May 7, 2017

Re: “”Visibility””
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QAC 04 – Why I Identify as Panromantic & Biromantic
May 24, 2013
[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I identify as gray-ace, but it feels too vague to me and causes unnecessary worries to my partner…”

June 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper! I identify as gray-ace, but it feels too vague to me and causes unnecessary worries to my partner about pushing me to do things I don’t really want (that never happens). I haven’t been able to find a more specific term. I do feel sexual attraction, so much that it’s obvious to me, but only when I decide I want to feel it in an interaction with someone. Cupio and recipro don’t fit. I call it conveniosexual as a joke because it is convenient, but is there an existing word? …i really hate to say this, but if your partner is concerned about pushing you to do things that you don’t really want to do, it seems unlikely to me that changing your identity would at all be a solution for that. forgive me if i’m out of line for saying this, but i’m doubtful that…

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Vesper H.

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July 5, 2013

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Q&A: “what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual?”

February 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: This may be a stupid question to ask, but what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual? I think I may be one, but then again I do have my doubts and other people say I’m not, but I’m just not sure. Thanks if you can answer this, sorry if I’m a bother hi, anon. this isn’t a stupid question, nor are you a bother. 🙂 there are no “qualifications” as such, all that really matters (in so far as i’m concerned) is that identifying as asexual feels right for you. the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing sexual attraction towards no one, at least in part because many asexual people feel like that describes them. however, that isn’t the only way to come to identify as asexual and it certainly doesn’t describe everyone who is asexual. the determining factor to whether you’re asexual or not…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
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EVERYTHING ASEXUAL AND AROMANTIC (Part 1) | The ABC’s of LGBT

January 15, 2016 / No Comments

youtuber @ashleymardell just released part 1 of her long awaited trilogy on asexuality and aromanticism! this video series is about both asexuality and aromanticism and is part of a larger series of videos called “The ABC’s of LGBT”. you might be thinking that this is probably just another one of those asexuality or aromanticism 101 videos made by someone who isn’t ace or aro themselves, but that’s the thing. it’s actually not!

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Vesper H.

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…one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.
October 7, 2016

botched allyship & language barriers #TRP2017
May 11, 2017

QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like
April 27, 2015
Q&A

Q&A: “can i use asexual as an umbrella term?”

January 4, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: can i use asexual as an umbrella term? i identify with more than one (a)sexualites (cupio/demi/grey) so i think it’s a lot easier to just say im asexual sure, go with whatever feels comfortable and right for you, be it asexual, ace, ace spectrum, etc. some will disagree with me on this, but people use asexual as an umbrella word to mean various things all the time. i’m not an authority on the word asexual and i am not about to police others’ usage of the word.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
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Q&A

Q&A: “what is graysexual”

January 2, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: what is graysexual graysexual / gray-asexual is an umbrella term for people who experience sexual attraction infrequently, rarely, weakly, only under certain circumstances, etc and for people who feel a connection to asexuality but who do not identify specifically as asexual. see http://www.demigray.org/faq for more information.

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
[A]sexuality, Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know

October 18, 2015 / No Comments

too often young aces and young people who are questioning whether or not they’re on the ace spectrum get told that they’re “too young to know.” young aces have it hard, constantly having their feelings and identity invalidated not only by society but by their own friends and family members purely on the basis of their age. well, i’m here to tell you that society is wrong. young aces, you can never be too young to know who you are. this video is dedicated to you. it’s already Asexual Awareness Week here in Japan and i’m kicking it off with a video dedicated to young aces and young people who are questioning. i hope that you’ll find this video encouraging. i’ll be adding captions to this video within the next couple of days. edit: les sous-titres sont maintenant disponible en l’anglais et en français ! mille mercis à ZKL pour le…

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Vesper H.

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November 14, 2015

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botched allyship & language barriers #TRP2017
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QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

April 27, 2015 / No Comments

today some ace friends and i went to Tokyo Rainbow Pride where we were approached by a smug as fuck acephobic asshat. this video is dedicated to those who do not believe that acephobia and/or asexual erasure are a thing and to those who struggle dealing with people belittling the shit you deal with. let there be video of acephobia & asexual erasure in action for the world to see. content warning: misogyny, asexual erasure, acephobia, offensive-level ignorance, etc etc ※ what is acephobia? fear, prejudice or discrimination against people within the asexual (ace) spectrum; the belief that asexuality is “unnatural”, “wrong” and/or a health issue that needs “correcting”. ※ what is asexual erasure? denying the existence of asexuality, asexuals and/or other sexualities and people within the asexual spectrum; the lack of representation and misrepresentation of asexual spectrum people in the media. edit: later we came across Mr. Asshat again interviewing people…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual
October 10, 2016