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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Can I be agender and maverique?”

    December 29, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Can I be agender and maverique? Like “I’m an agender maverique” is that a thing? I’m so confused halp. ;^; you are whatever you are, anon, and if that happens to be an agender maverique then you’re an agender maverique. it’s not a matter of something being a thing or not, it’s simply a matter of who you feel yourself to be. you know who you are and how you feel better than anyone else, so i encourage you to trust yourself no matter what others may say. your feelings of being agender and maverique are proof enough that yes, being an agender maverique is a thing because you are ‘a thing’. you exist and your feelings / experiences are valid, as are the words that you feel describes them best. having said that, you may find it encouraging to know that you would not be alone in being…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    March 17, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “how do I know if I’m ace?”

    December 26, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, I have a question : how do I know if I’m ace? For example if I have never kissed someone how do I know I don’t like to kiss someone? Maybe is a stupid question but I’m new on this blog hi anon, “how do i know if i’m ____?” is a very common question that many people ask themself and / or others at one point or another and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. despite being a common question, the answer to that question isn’t a simple one and will differ from person to person because there is no one “true” answer, imho. the following is just my longwinded personal opinion. before i attempt to answer your question i’d like to point out that whether you like or don’t like kissing is not an indication of whether you’re ace or not. if you don’t like kissing…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

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  • Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…does anything else about how gender is discussed estrange you?”

    December 6, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Branching off of your Cis-Trans binary video, does anything else about how gender is discussed estrange you? For me, settling on quoigender hasn’t been a comfortable experience, as it doesn’t provide the luxury or comfort of certainty. Coupled with ableism, aro- and acephobia, being quoigender and thus “see, not a real girl(TM) after all” makes gender itself alienating. I can’t “celebrate my gender identity” when I not convinced that I even have one, and suggesting that I should is insulting. ( re: this video / blog post ) there’s quite a lot surrounding gender and how it’s often discussed that bothers and / or alienates me, including the assumption that everyone knows their gender or even has one at all. that said, as someone who does have a gender, knows what it is and is comfortable in it, i admit that i am privileged in that regard and thus am…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend…”

    November 30, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend, she said their would only be a few other people there I didn’t know but when we went out there was a lot of people there I didn’t know on top of my friend ignoring me most of the time, I felt alone & anxious . Afterwards she bugged me until I told her what was wrong & now she’s made at me. I feel like I’m crazy I’ve been having panic attacks ever since. I feel like a horrible person & I don’t know what to do you’re most certainly not a horrible person, anon. you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and how you feel / felt (both now and at the time) is understandable and no fault of your own. as far as i’m concerned, your friend has no reason…

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    Vesper H.

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    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders?”

    November 16, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, Vesper! I have a very serious question to ask. It’s about gender. It might come off as offensive, but in no means is it meant to be. Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders? Hear me out: it can be argued that gender is not really determined by characteristics or genitals, instead more by chromosomes, XX or XY. For humans, biologically there is only male and female(no, i did not forget intersex), but gender identity can be a whole other deal! You see, gender identity can be how someone feels about their gender. Like, I was born female, but I did not feel like that fit. Male didn’t fit either, so I identify as agender. But, I didn’t really feel like it was an actual gender as much as an identity, a way for me to express myself. I may just be getting…

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    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m a trans male and I’m attracted to people with feminine gender identity or presentation…”

    November 15, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know you aren’t an omniscient god of queer or anything, but I really respect a lot of your opinions so I figured I might as well ask your opinion on this. I’m a trans male and I’m attracted to people with feminine gender identity or presentation. In other words, any female, plus any other gender as long as they present as feminine. I’m not sure I have the right to use anything other than straight, but I also feel as if that reduces identity to being just expression. Thoughts? in my humble opinion, if someone uses a word other than “straight” to describe themself, it isn’t because they have the right to use that word. who a person is and the word(s) one uses to refer to that isn’t a matter of rights. that said, if it were (or if i were to stop being ridiculous and take what…

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    Vesper H.

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless…”

    November 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: this sounds dumb but i really wonder about – i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless, like i will never be totally validated and accepted like cis people are even if i completely transition (sometimes i even wish i was cis so i wouldn’t have to deal with the things i feel). occasionally i wonder if maybe i really am faking it even though it’s been a couple years since i realized that being trans felt right. am i the only one who has these thoughts? am i faking it? i can tell you with 100% certainty that you’re not the only one who has such thoughts and who feels this way at times, anon. it’s not at all uncommon to feel hopeless sometimes; to wish that you were like those around you who do not have to deal with the things…

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    Vesper H.

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  • Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…how to define yourself, was your self-esteem affected in any way?”

    November 12, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: If I may ask, considering how you had to continuously rework how to define yourself, was your self-esteem affected in any way? do you find that your social dysphoria has worsen in the last few years, now that you know yourself better? i’ve always had piss-poor self-esteem and that continues to be the case today, so i’m afraid i have no idea whether or not the journey of self-discovery that i’ve been on over the years has affected that at all. i suspect not, though. as for dysphoria, be it social or otherwise, i do experience more dysphoria now than i did in the past and i do feel like for me personally there is some kind of correlation between becoming more comfortable with and confident in who i know myself to be gender wise and experiencing more dysphoria.

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 21 – Gender Identity & Feminism

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    QAC 74 – 1 Year on HRT: Non-Binary Dysphoria | Euphoria | “Passing” || The T Files #010

    January 3, 2019
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “Cuz of Trump pres, I said I’m screwed if he passes any anti LGBT law…”

    November 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Cuz of Trump pres, I said I’m screwed if he passes any anti LGBT law and I said it out loud and had to explain I’m ace to 2 friends the first I lied to cuz I was scared the 2nd I told them but Idk I’m kinda scared I hope they understand 🙁 i sincerely hope they understand too, anon, and i’m sorry that you’re in the shitty situation that you’re in. :/ having said that, know that regardless of whether they understand or not it’s entirely valid to feel how you feel and what anyone else has to say on the matter is irrelevant. even if they understand what it means to be ace, only you know what it feels to be in your shoes right now or ever. i sincerely hope that your friend(s) respond to what you’ve told them in an appropriate manner, but…

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    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “From Anon coming out to friend who might know…”

    November 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: From Anon coming out to friend who might know: So I came out to her and it went really well. She made it causal for me, lol. She didn’t say if she knew or not. I feel so much better now. Now to work on coming out as nonbinary lol. Thank u, Vesper. 🙂 ( re: anon from these posts, perhaps?) thank you for coming back (again) and sharing the good news, anon. so glad to hear that things went well for you. 🙂 her response to you coming out this time is really encouraging, i think. hopefully she will respond in an equally awesome way if / when you come out to her again. either way, best wishes!

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    Vesper H.

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    June 16, 2015
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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