anon Archives | Page 10 of 29 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Feedback, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Feedback: “your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting!”

October 13, 2016 /

anonymous said: your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting! Im also ace and nb and i think about it a lot about lately. I struggle to separate my looks-based/aesthetic attraction for masc ppl from dysphoria based envy and I thought it was just me! ( re: this post ) with 30+ people and counting on YouTube and many more elsewhere commenting that they’ve also had similar experiences, it looks like neither of us was as alone in our experiences as we’d thought. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but…”

October 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but not want a relationship with anyone but girls you most certainly can, anon. aesthetic love does not dictate who you may want to have a relationship with. the only thing that decides that is literally who you want to have a relationship with.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Can a person be bi and just don’t enjoy some type of genitalia?”

October 12, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! i have a bit of an akward question: Can a person be bi and just don’t enjoy some type of genitalia? I’m bi and i dislike penises. There’s no way around it, i’ve tried a few and they just don’t do i for me. My LGBTI friends of course tell me i’m actually a lesbian, but that’s not it. It doesn’t matter the gender of the person attatched to the penis, i just don’t like the thing and it freaks me out because what if i’m faking it? Can i be bi and don’t like dick? hi anon, anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, can be averse to or repulsed by genitalia. genitalia aversion / repulsion– or any other kind of aversion / repulsions for that matter– does not define your sexuality unless you feel like it does. who you’re attracted to (or not attracted to), how…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “how can I tell my friend im ace she doesn’t really believe ace is real…”

October 12, 2016 / No Comments

Kat said: Hi Kat again & thank u for responding & may I ask how can I tell my friend im ace she doesn’t really believe ace is real she’s accepting to most things but Idk if I should tell her cuz in a few days she’s taking me on blind date so I can get “laid” there are lots different ways that you can come out to your friend, from sitting her down and having a serious conversation about it with her to waiting for the right opportunity in a conversation to just offhandedly mention it to coming out in an even more creative way. what would work best when coming out to your friend is up to you since you know your relationship with her better than anyone else. as for whether or not to come out to her, if you don’t feel comfortable with coming out to…

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Vesper H.

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on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.
May 12, 2017

commentary: “Where Is The Asexual Representation in LGBTQ Pride?”
June 10, 2017
[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “It really annoys me when bi and trans allies state that acephobia is “just” recycled biphobia/transphobia/whatever…”

October 12, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: It really annoys me when bi and trans allies state that acephobia is “just” recycled biphobia/transphobia/whatever. I appreciate the attempted support, because, by all means, let’s compare notes (otherwise, what’s the point?). But it bothers me nonetheless when the hatred specifically aimed at us is described as nothing but misdirected run-off from other groups. I want acephobia to be taken seriously in its own right, not just as a form of accidental collateral damage. Your thoughts? i totally understand where you’re coming from and can relate to feeling miffed at times when seeing some people compare “ace discourse” to past “discourse” involving bi people, trans people, etc. sometimes it’s done well and other times it’s…. yeah. before i say anything else, i have to admit that i myself also compare the current rendition of “ace discourse” and general acephobia on Tumblr to past (and present) “bi discourse” and biphobia…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I have a friend who talks about how much harder they’re life is then asexuals bc they’re bisexual.”

October 12, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey vesper i need some advice, whenever I bring up that I’m ace I have a friend who talks about how much harder they’re life is then asexuals bc they’re bisexual. They say asexuals are only oppressed bc they can’t have a significant other bc they don’t want sex. I’ve told them I’m insecure in being ace & they tell me I shouldn’t be bc nobody cares about asexuals. I feel like a horrible person & that it was inconsiderate & ignorant to come out as ace idk what to do or even how to feel anymore hi anon, your “friend” is the one who’s ignorant and inconsiderate, anon, not you. it’s ridiculous that they feel justified in casting aside your feelings at all, let alone based on assumptions about your life as if they even know anything about it. not only that, they’re also ignoring the fact…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Im 17 and Idk who im romantically attracted to…”

October 11, 2016 / No Comments

Kat said: Im 17 and Idk who im romantically attracted to I see girls & guys as cute & I haven’t dated before & don’t care but in the future I would like a partner regardless of gender but wat am i? Ik im ace but like idk if I’m aro or something pls help:) -Kat hi Kat, i’m afraid i can’t actually tell you something about yourself that even you yourself do not know, but i will say this. it sounds like something that you do know about yourself is that you’re ace and that you’d like a partner regardless of gender in the future. that’s actually a lot to know about yourself! 🙂 while it’s obvious that you’d like to know more than that, i hope that at least knowing that much about yourself can be of some comfort or encouragement to you. it’s natural to be curious…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: ” What did you mean by #although this is about #an korean ace #rather than an ace POC #also relevant?”

October 11, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi there! I hope you don’t think I’m attacking you or anything, I just wanted to ask about your tags in your last post (the one with the asexual K-drama character): What did you mean by #although this is about #an korean ace #rather than an ace POC #also relevant? ( re: this post ) the #although this is about #a korean ace#rather than an ace POC #also relevant tags were there to preface the tags that followed them, which were #asian american #APOC #ace POC#asexual POC. that is to say that the character portrayed in the post is not a POC. please refer to this post where i rant about why labeling him as a POC would be inappropriate. as such, my #asian american #APOC #ace POC#asexual POC tags were not meant to be descriptive of the character being portrayed because they aren’t. i included those tags because they are, however, #also…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “Excuse, but are you truscum?”

October 5, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I asking because I’m afraid to follow you in case you are truscum. no, anon, i am not truscum. in other words:

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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Q&A: “The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship?”

October 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship? Does it mean someone you would want to be in a queerplatonic with? you’re far from the only one who’s confused by the term “platonic attraction”, anon. imho, such confusion and misunderstanding is partially to blame for why some people are quick to make light of terms like “panplatonic”, “aplatonic”, etc. such confusion and misunderstanding is also part of the reason why some people prefer to use other terms instead. the word “platonic” is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as referring to “a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.” that said, historically the word and its usage used to be far more nuanced than it often is in modern society. there are literally an infinite number of ways in which a close relationship without romance (with or without sex) could manifest…

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Vesper H.

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