Q&A: “Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year…”
anonymous said: (part 1/2) Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year but I can’t get anywhere. I’ve always noticed I wasn’t attracted to my partners even before I knew asexuality existed but oddly, it didn’t bothered me or made me question things on the moment. However, I can have fantasies about people I know or celebrities but it never becomes reality. When I have sex with my partners, it’s because I have a libido and I feel emotionally good with them. (part 2/2) I can’t relate with most ace stories since I have fantaisies, a libido and sex. But at the same time, I can’t totally relate either with allosexual way of things. And being bi means I exist in that weird paradox where I can’t draw the line between being attracted to all genders or none. I…
Q&A: “I think I may be asexual. I romanticize the idea of being with a male partner later, but then I’m a maladaptive dreamer…”
anonymous said: So I have a question. I think I may be asexual. I romanticize the idea of being with a male partner later, but then I’m a maladaptive dreamer. I have issues with trusting people, men specifically. I don’t have any sexual attraction to men, I occasionally get crushes, which are romantic in nature, but never sexual. I do masturbate, but more like a release than actual arousal, Infact I don’t even get aroused that much. Couple moths back I kissed a guy on impulse and it disgusted me. Please help. [ cw: masturbation, arousal mentions ] hello, anon. sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. i don’t know how much help i’ll be as i can’t tell you whether you’re asexual or not (that’s something you’ll ultimately have to decide for yourself), but… someone asked me how to know whether they’re ace or not awhile…
Feedback: “I’ve know I was asexual since I was 12, and I felt broken. Till this day I still know, but I reject it…”
anonymous said: Hello! I’m Pangrayromantic and asexual. I feel so weird just admiting this, I’ve know I was asexual since I was 12, and I felt broken. Till this day I still know, but I reject it, mostly because the world has what I don’t have and I feel like I have to catch up. I feel like my asexuality dosnt fit in and it isn’t important, but this is mostly because I lack a sexuality lol. But it’s amazing to see another African American , who’s in the asexual and pan community! hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your message. i hope you’re doing well, in spite of recent events… i’m sorry to hear that you’ve struggled with (and continue to struggle with) your (a)sexuality for so long. while i personally do not view my asexuality as being a lack of sexuality, i can still imagine…
….mmm, you know.
i’d make a quasi-linkspam of a post about the many times and ways that i’ve had aro aces tell me that i can’t do / say / talk about / feel / understand something because i’m “romantic”, but more than likely i’d get accused of being arophobic instead of, you know, pointing out a legitimate problem within the aro ace community that ought to be addressed.
back from Tokyo
where i finally got to meet Japanese ace activist @harris-hijiri! actually, we both went to Tokyo to meet with Emie, an ace artist from Sweden who’s debuting her video art piece “Sexual Disorientation” (cw: genitals, masturbation) in Tokyo this Thursday. Emie is also working on an asexual documentary called “Aces of Baes”, for which both Harris-Hijiri and i were interviewed. how ironic is it that it took a globe-trotting Swed to finally bring the two of us together, even though we both live in the same country? lol anyway, it was a pleasure to meet them both. we should do it again sometime. 🙂
Q&A: “So I got a very flirty personality. My flirting however is I’d say 90% non sexual…”
songsandtimetravel said: Ok. So I got a very flirty personality. My flirting however is I’d say 90% non sexual, and the other 10% is with the people I feel a mutual sexual “connection” with. I know that my friendliness have been confused with sexual attraction before with non-ace people. I love my personality but as I get more involved with the queer and non binary community I get get to know more Ace-people too, and I don’t want to come off as overly sexual or make them uncomfortable.Got any thoughts on what I can do? sorry for taking so long getting back to you. not sure if you even still want to hear my thoughts, but… i think that the situation that you’ve found yourself in is reflective of an overarching problem within society as a whole rather than being reflective of a problem with flirting or your personality.…
🌈Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup
…it’s that time of year again. time for Tokyo Rainbow Pride! since 2014 myself and other aces in Japan (now known as Ace Spec Japan) have come together during Golden Week to raise awareness of asexuality by walking in the annual Tokyo Rainbow Pride Parade, followed by a casual meetup elsewhere in Tokyo. this year will be as awesome as ever and anyone interested in joining us– or even just stopping by to say ‘hi’– is welcome! walking in the parade is optional, of course. date: Sunday, May 7th, 2017 time: [parade] 10:30 ~ 14:00? (parade itself sets off at 12:00) ——- [meetup] 16:00 ~ ??? location: contact me for details even if you can’t make the above times, contact me and i’ll help you find us. i’ll also be around for the Festa on May 6th (Saturday) if anyone wants to meetup then. either way, ハッピープライド！ (photos from Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016) […
Cosmopolitan: “Everything You Need To Know About Demisexuality”
Cosmopolitan revisited an article on demisexuality that was originally published in 2015, featuring it on their Snapchat today. the article was also featured on Snapchat’s “Discover” alongside a CNN feature on a trans man’s experience with dating. the article can be found on Cosmopolitan.com.
Q&A not Q&A: “just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community…”
anonymous said: hey i just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community. i think that has to do with the history the ace community has on tumblr. two, three years ago, the argument wasn’t whether aces belonged to the community; the argument was ‘you aren’t asexual if you aren’t sex-repulsed’, which was debated and disputed for a very long time until terms like grey-, demi-, that sort of stuff started to come out and become more popular and accepted. the discourse used to be ‘a is for asexual, not allies’ and about being sex repulsed. and i think that the struggle to find validity in /their own community/ has caused a lot of splintering that has affected how people treat the ace community today. NOT to say they are to blame for how they’re treated, by any means, i don’t want it to come…
allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces
….you know, considering how much talk there is in the ace community about how asexuality and aromanticism exist on a spectrum– of “grayness” and differing types of attractions with occasional attention paid to diversity of one kind or another– it both amazes and frustrates me how so many of the same people who speak of these things still seem to operate based on the very same assumption that exists within society at large: that everyone is (allo)romantic and / or (allo)sexual by default unless explicitly stated otherwise. while i understand that aces (and aros) internalize and subsequently have to unlearn amatonormativity and sexnormativity (and heteronormativity) just the same as everyone else and that there’s also likely an element of self-defense / self-preservation involved, it is beyond frustrating every time i see or am subjected to microaggressions from aces who adhere to the very same “______ by default unless otherwise stated” mindset that…
