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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Q&A

    Q&A: “How exactly would I ever come out [as asexual] to my parents?”

    October 15, 2017 /

    anonymous said: This is random but haiii , i just wanted to stop by and say you are amazing.. You helped me a lot with my sexuality(Asexual) and I would like to thank you ^~^ but I do have one question.. How exactly would I ever come out to my parents? ohai, anon. thanks for the kind words. 🙂 also, sorry about my slow response, especially if you were hoping for a reply ahead of National Coming Out Day. i can’t tell you how exactly to come out to your parents. the question of if you should even come out at all and if yes, when? how? where? etc is entirely up to you. not everyone comes out to their parents for various reasons and it’s important that you give due consideration as to whether you should come out to yours or not, not just how to do it. remember that…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    May 17, 2016

    humbled

    July 31, 2018

    spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV

    February 21, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year…”

    October 2, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: (part 1/2) Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year but I can’t get anywhere. I’ve always noticed I wasn’t attracted to my partners even before I knew asexuality existed but oddly, it didn’t bothered me or made me question things on the moment. However, I can have fantasies about people I know or celebrities but it never becomes reality. When I have sex with my partners, it’s because I have a libido and I feel emotionally good with them. (part 2/2) I can’t relate with most ace stories since I have fantaisies, a libido and sex. But at the same time, I can’t totally relate either with allosexual way of things. And being bi means I exist in that weird paradox where I can’t draw the line between being attracted to all genders or none. I…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 18 – Queer: More Than Sexuality & Gender Identity?

    October 12, 2013

    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019

    City of Philadelphia unveils Pride flag with brown and black stripes

    August 4, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I think I may be asexual. I romanticize the idea of being with a male partner later, but then I’m a maladaptive dreamer…”

    August 30, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I have a question. I think I may be asexual. I romanticize the idea of being with a male partner later, but then I’m a maladaptive dreamer. I have issues with trusting people, men specifically. I don’t have any sexual attraction to men, I occasionally get crushes, which are romantic in nature, but never sexual. I do masturbate, but more like a release than actual arousal, Infact I don’t even get aroused that much. Couple moths back I kissed a guy on impulse and it disgusted me. Please help. [ cw: masturbation, arousal mentions ] hello, anon. sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. i don’t know how much help i’ll be as i can’t tell you whether you’re asexual or not (that’s something you’ll ultimately have to decide for yourself), but… someone asked me how to know whether they’re ace or not awhile…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 75 – Questioning In Silence?: Identity | Self-Discovery | Stigma || Random Thoughts

    February 27, 2019

    #asexual pride shirt

    October 27, 2013

     “Things Asexual People Want You To Know” – BuzzFeed LGBT

    October 29, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Feedback,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I’ve know I was asexual since I was 12, and I felt broken. Till this day I still know, but I reject it…”

    August 15, 2017 /

    anonymous said: Hello! I’m Pangrayromantic and asexual. I feel so weird just admiting this, I’ve know I was asexual since I was 12, and I felt broken. Till this day I still know, but I reject it, mostly because the world has what I don’t have and I feel like I have to catch up. I feel like my asexuality dosnt fit in and it isn’t important, but this is mostly because I lack a sexuality lol. But it’s amazing to see another African American , who’s in the asexual and pan community! hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your message. i hope you’re doing well, in spite of recent events… i’m sorry to hear that you’ve struggled with (and continue to struggle with) your (a)sexuality for so long. while i personally do not view my asexuality as being a lack of sexuality, i can still imagine…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 50 – Biphobia x Non-Binary Erasure x Binarism || Bi Non-Binary People Exist

    June 12, 2016

    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016

    Japanese gender / queer theory, anyone?

    May 22, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    ….mmm, you know.

    August 4, 2017 / No Comments

    i’d make a quasi-linkspam of a post about the many times and ways that i’ve had aro aces tell me that i can’t do / say / talk about / feel / understand something because i’m “romantic”, but more than likely i’d get accused of being arophobic instead of, you know, pointing out a legitimate problem within the aro ace community that ought to be addressed.

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 73 – 【Asexuality In JAPAN】An Interview ♠【アセクシャルって?】日本x英語圏  || #AAW2018

    October 26, 2018

    …so this happened at TRP today.

    May 7, 2016

    Documentary Explores The Reality Of Being Black And Gay In The Church

    November 14, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts

    back from Tokyo

    July 11, 2017 / No Comments

    where i finally got to meet Japanese ace activist @harris-hijiri! actually, we both went to Tokyo to meet with Emie, an ace artist from Sweden who’s debuting her video art piece “Sexual Disorientation” (cw: genitals, masturbation) in Tokyo this Thursday. Emie is also working on an asexual documentary called “Aces of Baes”, for which both Harris-Hijiri and i were interviewed. how ironic is it that it took a globe-trotting Swed to finally bring the two of us together, even though we both live in the same country? lol anyway, it was a pleasure to meet them both. we should do it again sometime. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016

    DIY ace flag, anyone?

    May 6, 2016

    photos from Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)

    May 7, 2014
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “So I got a very flirty personality. My flirting however is I’d say 90% non sexual…”

    July 3, 2017 / No Comments

    songsandtimetravel said: Ok. So I got a very flirty personality. My flirting however is I’d say 90% non sexual, and the other 10% is with the people I feel a mutual sexual “connection” with. I know that my friendliness have been confused with sexual attraction before with non-ace people. I love my personality but as I get more involved with the queer and non binary community I get get to know more Ace-people too, and I don’t want to come off as overly sexual or make them uncomfortable.Got any thoughts on what I can do?   sorry for taking so long getting back to you. not sure if you even still want to hear my thoughts, but… i think that the situation that you’ve found yourself in is reflective of an overarching problem within society as a whole rather than being reflective of a problem with flirting or your personality.…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Japan[ese]

    ?Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup

    April 29, 2017 / No Comments

    …it’s that time of year again. time for Tokyo Rainbow Pride! since 2014 myself and other aces in Japan (now known as Ace Spec Japan) have come together during Golden Week to raise awareness of asexuality by walking in the annual Tokyo Rainbow Pride Parade, followed by a casual meetup elsewhere in Tokyo. this year will be as awesome as ever and anyone interested in joining us– or even just stopping by to say ‘hi’– is welcome! walking in the parade is optional, of course. date: Sunday, May 7th, 2017 time: [parade] 10:30 ~ 14:00? (parade itself sets off at 12:00) ——- [meetup] 16:00 ~ ??? location: contact me for details even if you can’t make the above times, contact me and i’ll help you find us. i’ll also be around for the Festa on May 6th (Saturday) if anyone wants to meetup then. either way, ハッピープライド! (photos from Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016) […

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    comments on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video.

    November 26, 2015

    Antiblackness and Binarism: Grindr in Japan

    January 6, 2018

    AskAPan Week 08 – How I Discovered Pansexuality / Panromanticism

    July 12, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Queer[ness]

    Cosmopolitan: “Everything You Need To Know About Demisexuality”

    March 20, 2017 / No Comments

    Cosmopolitan revisited an article on demisexuality that was originally published in 2015, featuring it on their Snapchat today. the article was also featured on Snapchat’s “Discover” alongside a CNN feature on a trans man’s experience with dating. the article can be found on Cosmopolitan.com.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

    May 12, 2017

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    January 4, 2020

    VICELAND – GAYCATION Episode 1: Japan

    March 3, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community…”

    February 26, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: hey i just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community. i think that has to do with the history the ace community has on tumblr. two, three years ago, the argument wasn’t whether aces belonged to the community; the argument was ‘you aren’t asexual if you aren’t sex-repulsed’, which was debated and disputed for a very long time until terms like grey-, demi-, that sort of stuff started to come out and become more popular and accepted. the discourse used to be ‘a is for asexual, not allies’ and about being sex repulsed. and i think that the struggle to find validity in /their own community/ has caused a lot of splintering that has affected how people treat the ace community today. NOT to say they are to blame for how they’re treated, by any means, i don’t want it to come…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    July 9, 2018

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    September 23, 2015

    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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