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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Q&A

    Q&A: “How exactly would I ever come out [as asexual] to my parents?”

    October 15, 2017 /

    anonymous said: This is random but haiii , i just wanted to stop by and say you are amazing.. You helped me a lot with my sexuality(Asexual) and I would like to thank you ^~^ but I do have one question.. How exactly would I ever come out to my parents? ohai, anon. thanks for the kind words. 🙂 also, sorry about my slow response, especially if you were hoping for a reply ahead of National Coming Out Day. i can’t tell you how exactly to come out to your parents. the question of if you should even come out at all and if yes, when? how? where? etc is entirely up to you. not everyone comes out to their parents for various reasons and it’s important that you give due consideration as to whether you should come out to yours or not, not just how to do it. remember that…

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    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016

    Studio Ghibli’s 『思い出のマーニー』 // “When Marnie Was There”

    August 11, 2014
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I stumbled across the term Maverique a few days ago…”

    October 15, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I stumbled across the term Maverique a few days ago. Before I went w/ the gender I was assigned at birth (cuz ¯_(ツ)_/¯), but the definition just “clicked”. After reading more about it I’m not sure if I can ID that way tho, cuz while I don’t feel genderless, or like a man/woman, I do feel kinda “feminine”, but it’s not like “”””feminine””””, you know? It’s really “me”/innate & unrelated to things outside myself, but feminine as a word still fits, just the concept of feminine is my own. Thoughts? sorry for the slow reply, anon. i’m sorry that my definition of maverique being what it is has caused you to question whether you can identify as maverique or not. my personal stance is that if you feel like ‘maverique’ describes you then it does, even if ‘feminine’ also happens to describe you as well. i’m the last person to…

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    Vesper H.

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    thank you

    November 28, 2017

    QAC 34 – Distancing Yourself From Family

    February 16, 2015

    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year…”

    October 2, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: (part 1/2) Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year but I can’t get anywhere. I’ve always noticed I wasn’t attracted to my partners even before I knew asexuality existed but oddly, it didn’t bothered me or made me question things on the moment. However, I can have fantasies about people I know or celebrities but it never becomes reality. When I have sex with my partners, it’s because I have a libido and I feel emotionally good with them. (part 2/2) I can’t relate with most ace stories since I have fantaisies, a libido and sex. But at the same time, I can’t totally relate either with allosexual way of things. And being bi means I exist in that weird paradox where I can’t draw the line between being attracted to all genders or none. I…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual

    March 12, 2018

    humbled

    July 31, 2018

    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015
  • Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “I hate discourse!”

    October 2, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I hate discourse! Honesty it makes me feel like crap whenever I see it. I want it to stop. I hate that asexuality/ aromanticim has become a punching bag for a portion of the tumblr community and acceptable to mock. *gah* *nods* ‘discourse’ really is frustrating, among a million other things. not gonna lie, i’ve very much enjoying my time offline with Cal or online with Netflix– anywhere that isn’t Tumblr tbh. i’m a huge advocate of dropping Tumblr like it’s a bad habit when it gets to be too much (or when life happenings just otherwise makes Tumblr “eh”)– or alternatively, blocking (temporarily or not) people who bring (inadvertently or not) posts from the ‘discourse’ side of Tumblr onto your dashboard. alternatively alternatively, use browser extensions to block keywords or tags to help keep yourself from seeing such posts without out completely blocking out a person or their blog entirely. there…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Japan[ese],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Is the concept of a qpp common in the Japanese ace community?”

    September 22, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is the concept of a qpp common in the Japanese ace community? in so far as i’m aware, no. i’ve never heard of anything that could be considered to correspond to the concept of (a) queerplatonic partner(s) (QPPs) or queerplatonic relationships (QPRs) in Japan. which isn’t necessarily to say that the concept itself does not exist at all, just that if it does i don’t think it’s common and i have not seen a single word or phrase used to describe such a concept… yet.

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    Vesper H.

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    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 (5/8/2016)

    May 14, 2016

    identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

    July 21, 2017

    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019
  • Black[ness],  Feedback,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I have been enjoying your thoughts on visibility!”

    September 22, 2017 / No Comments

    adventures-in-asexuality I have been enjoying your thoughts on visibility! I’ve often thought of it as kind of the ability to access narratives about yourself (or about other people, I guess, but my priorities here are inherently centered on people being able to find narratives about themselves, or about who they want to be) – a bit broader than just fiction narratives, including things like healthcare narratives or relative narratives or what you have. I have said the word ‘narrative’ too much. ( re: this post ) thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂 i’ve actually never re+ally thought of narratives or the ability to access them as visibility, but as representation…. but now that you mention it, i guess it totally is a form of visibility, just not in the way that i usually think of visibility… …which i guess is part of the frustration that i have with usage of…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015

    ? QAC 76.5 – 11 Years In The Making: #TheBigChop || Non-binary | QPOC | Haircut

    June 1, 2019

    it began with locs…

    February 25, 2018
  • Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “I’m sure there are plenty of other trans people who want to be visibly trans…”

    September 22, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: On the visibility thing- I am a trans person who wants to be proudly and visibly trans, mostly because I’m genderqueer and there isn’t really a way to “pass” as gq, so being seen as cis is automatically misgendering me. So I try to be as “nonpassing” and obviously trans/queer as possible. And I’m sure there are plenty of other trans people who want to be visibly trans, otherwise stuff like trans pride shirts and such wouldn’t exist, no? Or am I misunderstanding what you mean by visibility? ( re: this post ) i agree with you, anon, that there are a lot of people who want to visibly subvert and / or defy the assumption that they are cis a man / woman or otherwise a binary gender that they are not– especially among those for whom (as you pointed out) “passing” as their gender (or lack thereof) is…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating…”

    September 22, 2017 / No Comments

    my-minds-matters: queerascat: anonymous said: I just had a eureka moment when looking at your recent reblog of a post on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating… As an aro ace, the whole “love” angle is definitely implicitly exclusionary. The core of my being aro ace is that I DON’T love anyone That Way, and community rhetoric consistently fails to reflect that. Not to mention that I find the “twoo wuv” thing eye-roll-inducing at times. Your thoughts? ( re: this post ) i agree that in addition to ignoring, excluding and / or alienating trans and non-binary people, as pointed out in the OP, such rhetoric also  ignores, excludes and alienates those for whom “love” (be it in the traditional, romantic sense or at all) is not a thing– or at least, is not The Thing that defines their connection to the LGBTQIA community. such rhetoric posits love…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018

    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019

    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…”love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating…”

    September 19, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I just had a eureka moment when looking at your recent reblog of a post on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating… As an aro ace, the whole “love” angle is definitely implicitly exclusionary. The core of my being aro ace is that I DON’T love anyone That Way, and community rhetoric consistently fails to reflect that. Not to mention that I find the “twoo wuv” thing eye-roll-inducing at times. Your thoughts? ( re: this post ) i agree that in addition to ignoring, excluding and / or alienating trans and non-binary people, as pointed out in the OP, such rhetoric also  ignores, excludes and alienates those for whom “love” (be it in the traditional, romantic sense or at all) is not a thing– or at least, is not The Thing that defines their connection to the LGBTQIA community. such rhetoric posits love as some…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    VICELAND – GAYCATION Episode 1: Japan

    March 3, 2016

    Burnt Out & Neurotic: The Toll of Blogging While Ace and Mentally Ill

    December 26, 2018

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 selfies

    May 14, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Re: Re: “”Visibility””

    September 19, 2017 / 1 Comment

    oodlenoodleroodle: queerascat: for the longest time it struck me as odd, the way that the LGBT community at large upholds “visibility” as some kind of goal or ideal to be fought for. it wasn’t until recent years that i actually stopped and thought about it enough to realize why reference to and usage of “visibility” in this way bothers me so much. as someone who has always been and will always be hypervisible because of their race, it baffles me when people advocate for visibility as if visibility is what we all want; as if visibility is even a means to getting what we all want. this upholding of visibility as something important for all of us to fight for seems grossly negligent of the fact that some of us are already more visible than others and that that very visibility is part of what has gotten some of us bullied,…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    QAC 06 – Coming Out as a Panromantic Asexual

    June 1, 2013

    QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 22, 2016

    Cosmopolitan: “Everything You Need To Know About Demisexuality”

    March 20, 2017
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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