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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend…”

    November 30, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I really need some advice, i have social anxiety & I recently went out with a friend, she said their would only be a few other people there I didn’t know but when we went out there was a lot of people there I didn’t know on top of my friend ignoring me most of the time, I felt alone & anxious . Afterwards she bugged me until I told her what was wrong & now she’s made at me. I feel like I’m crazy I’ve been having panic attacks ever since. I feel like a horrible person & I don’t know what to do you’re most certainly not a horrible person, anon. you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and how you feel / felt (both now and at the time) is understandable and no fault of your own. as far as i’m concerned, your friend has no reason…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    QAC 55.5 – Life Update: Post-Election Mental Health | Staying In Japan | Outted To Dad

    November 23, 2016 / No Comments

    two weeks ago any vague plans that i’d had for my immediate future were abruptly shattered when America elected Trump as the next president of the United States. two weeks later, i’m still struggling to cope with the news and the resulting blow to my already poor mental health. in this video, i give voice to my thoughts on being forced to navigate HRT in Japan and forgo (for the time being) other gender-related medical things that i’d hoped to pursue in America. i also talk about possibly moving to Tokyo in a year’s time, having been outted to my dad via Twitter and a new book by Ashley Mardell that i highly recommend. longass video is long, so here are some jump points for those of you only interested in specific things. @00:00 – post-election mental health @03:50 – shattered future; staying in Japan @08:55 – name change, HRT…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 75 – Questioning In Silence?: Identity | Self-Discovery | Stigma || Random Thoughts

    February 27, 2019

    “maverique” v1.0

    June 1, 2014

    humbled

    July 31, 2018
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    “Dyke Deck” by Catherine Opie

    November 20, 2016 / No Comments

    …so somehow this vintage deck of lesbian-themed playing cards made it all the way from Los Angeles to a christmas market in middle-of-nowhere Japan and into my hands today. [“Dyke Deck” by Catherine Opie] were sold at The Museum of Contemporary Art, Los Angeles but are SOLD OUT. Includes 52 playing cards, 2 jokers, instruction sheet, and case. Opie created this humorous deck to explore the issue of the lesbian body in photography. Many of the women in the photos are friends of Opie’s while others came to an open call in San Francisco. In the “Dyke Deck” Opie divided up the imags into four categories to correspond with the four suits: couples are hearts, jocks are clubs, femmes are diamonds and butches are spades.   as a lover and enthusiast of black & white photography and queer person myself, this feels a bit like that thing some people call “fate”?…

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    Vesper H.

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    humbled

    July 31, 2018

    ♫ 関取花「べつに」 / Hana Sekitori – “Betsu ni”

    December 18, 2016

    gender feels; racial trauma.

    December 6, 2017
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Mental [Un]health

    re: gaslighting in the aftermath of the 2016 US presidential election

    November 19, 2016 / No Comments

    ifshehadwings: queerascat: in case you missed it: Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) sparked an important conversation on Twitter about how in the aftermath of the 2016 US presidential election, even people who claim to support those of us who are most in danger from a Trump / Pence presidency have been guilty of gaslighting (and scapegoating) us, but we must (and will) persevere regardless. see also: “Donald Trump Is Gaslighting America & I Will Never Be OK With It” ※ image description / transcript below. Keep reading Guys this is a good thread with important things to say but I’ve really got to speak up for my girl Elizabeth Warren. People keep accusing her of this, I assume based on watching or hearing about her speech to the AFLCIO following the election. Here’s the thing though. I actually watched the whole speech and every word of it past the first few minutes is…

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    Vesper H.

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    本の紹介:「Xジェンダーって何?」

    October 4, 2016

    Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese!

    November 25, 2017
    photo: a green house outside of which is a sign which reads "WEED 21+"

    legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder

    March 7, 2020
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders?”

    November 16, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, Vesper! I have a very serious question to ask. It’s about gender. It might come off as offensive, but in no means is it meant to be. Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders? Hear me out: it can be argued that gender is not really determined by characteristics or genitals, instead more by chromosomes, XX or XY. For humans, biologically there is only male and female(no, i did not forget intersex), but gender identity can be a whole other deal! You see, gender identity can be how someone feels about their gender. Like, I was born female, but I did not feel like that fit. Male didn’t fit either, so I identify as agender. But, I didn’t really feel like it was an actual gender as much as an identity, a way for me to express myself. I may just be getting…

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    Vesper H.

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    本の紹介:「Xジェンダーって何?」

    October 4, 2016

    ? QAC 77 – Legal Name Change || Non-Binary Gender Markers || “”Deadnames”“ || NEVADA

    July 13, 2019

    Happy Non-binary Day!

    July 14, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m a trans male and I’m attracted to people with feminine gender identity or presentation…”

    November 15, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know you aren’t an omniscient god of queer or anything, but I really respect a lot of your opinions so I figured I might as well ask your opinion on this. I’m a trans male and I’m attracted to people with feminine gender identity or presentation. In other words, any female, plus any other gender as long as they present as feminine. I’m not sure I have the right to use anything other than straight, but I also feel as if that reduces identity to being just expression. Thoughts? in my humble opinion, if someone uses a word other than “straight” to describe themself, it isn’t because they have the right to use that word. who a person is and the word(s) one uses to refer to that isn’t a matter of rights. that said, if it were (or if i were to stop being ridiculous and take what…

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    Vesper H.

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    Burnt Out & Neurotic: The Toll of Blogging While Ace and Mentally Ill

    December 26, 2018

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2015 (4/26/15)

    May 10, 2015

    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless…”

    November 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: this sounds dumb but i really wonder about – i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless, like i will never be totally validated and accepted like cis people are even if i completely transition (sometimes i even wish i was cis so i wouldn’t have to deal with the things i feel). occasionally i wonder if maybe i really am faking it even though it’s been a couple years since i realized that being trans felt right. am i the only one who has these thoughts? am i faking it? i can tell you with 100% certainty that you’re not the only one who has such thoughts and who feels this way at times, anon. it’s not at all uncommon to feel hopeless sometimes; to wish that you were like those around you who do not have to deal with the things…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 28 – On “Blackness”, Queer Identity & Intersectionality (a rant)

    July 14, 2014

    Ace & Non-binary Pride @Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2015 (04/26/15)

    May 10, 2015

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015
  • Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…how to define yourself, was your self-esteem affected in any way?”

    November 12, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: If I may ask, considering how you had to continuously rework how to define yourself, was your self-esteem affected in any way? do you find that your social dysphoria has worsen in the last few years, now that you know yourself better? i’ve always had piss-poor self-esteem and that continues to be the case today, so i’m afraid i have no idea whether or not the journey of self-discovery that i’ve been on over the years has affected that at all. i suspect not, though. as for dysphoria, be it social or otherwise, i do experience more dysphoria now than i did in the past and i do feel like for me personally there is some kind of correlation between becoming more comfortable with and confident in who i know myself to be gender wise and experiencing more dysphoria.

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    Vesper H.

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    this quote though

    November 7, 2015

    “…what it means to become America’s boogieman”

    July 12, 2017

    『[4コマ]☆Xジェンダー☆』

    July 31, 2016
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “Non binary opened my world but even then it is hard to fit between the cis and trans world…”

    November 12, 2016 /

    unepetitecrise said: Been following you for a while but just got around to watching your vlogs on being non binary/or trans ect. I was similar…until I heard of non-binary I just felt a but lost? Non binary opened my world but even then it is hard to fit between the cis and trans world. I was one of those people, I am ashamed to say, who was very ‘don’t call me cis cause you can’t call me that’ and it came across as transphobic but I now realise it was bc no label fits. So important to see someone explain it. TY! (re: these vlogs [ 1 ] + [ 2 ]) thanks for watching and for the kind message. 🙂 it’s definitely a topic that i’d love to see more discussion about and awareness of. imho, there’s a significant number of people who are overlooked, silenced and / or…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “Cuz of Trump pres, I said I’m screwed if he passes any anti LGBT law…”

    November 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Cuz of Trump pres, I said I’m screwed if he passes any anti LGBT law and I said it out loud and had to explain I’m ace to 2 friends the first I lied to cuz I was scared the 2nd I told them but Idk I’m kinda scared I hope they understand 🙁 i sincerely hope they understand too, anon, and i’m sorry that you’re in the shitty situation that you’re in. :/ having said that, know that regardless of whether they understand or not it’s entirely valid to feel how you feel and what anyone else has to say on the matter is irrelevant. even if they understand what it means to be ace, only you know what it feels to be in your shoes right now or ever. i sincerely hope that your friend(s) respond to what you’ve told them in an appropriate manner, but…

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    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

    May 12, 2017

    photos from Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)

    May 7, 2014

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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