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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [Random] Thoughts

    random convo with mom #1996

    August 13, 2016 / No Comments

    me: btw, dad kinda sorta found out that i’m non-binary, queer and asexual but i still don’t know exactly how much he even knows or if he even understands what those words mean. and i dont think he knows that you know, but just thought i’d let you know that he kinda sorta knows something in case he comes to you about it. mom: Well he hasn’t said anything. Ok me: if he does mention it to you… let me know? he always talks to you more than he talks to me, so he’ll probably talk to you about it eventually. mom: Maybe. He may think that I will freak out. me: ….to be fair, you did lol… but yeah, he might not come to you because he doesn’t know that you already know. fair enough. but on the off chance that he does, i’d like to know. you dont have to tell me what he says…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “”summer vacation””

    August 20, 2016

    QAC 11.5 – Life Update: Life Gives You Shit, Make S’mores

    July 21, 2013

    #SpiritDay2015

    October 15, 2015
  • Art[sy Fartsy],  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “Do you know the queer artist Ezra Furman?”

    August 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Do you know the queer artist Ezra Furman? I’m mad about him. i hadn’t heard of him, actually, but i looked him up thanks to this ask. the music style isn’t what i tend to listen to, but i still enjoyed it and the music videos especially (because cinematography as an extension of photography is totally my thing). Ezra Furman is definitely an artist that i recommend others check out. thanks for the heads up, anon! 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    ….so i did a doodle.

    March 19, 2013

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2015 (4/26/15)

    May 10, 2015

    GENDER.

    February 16, 2014
  • Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Do you have any tips for dealing with an unsupportive family?”

    August 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Do you have any tips for dealing with an unsupportive family? See, I came out as nb/pan awhile ago and while they weren’t happy they weren’t bad about it. However, me and my father got into a massive fight in which he yelled at me that he’ll never see me as anything other than my agab, and a whole litany of other homophobic and transphobic comments. I haven’t been talking to him because it’s far too painful to do so, but now my mother says I’ve rejected him and am causing too much tension and that I’m tearing the family apart, and that I need to get over it because I’m being selfish. How do I smooth things over with my family, because I don’t want to tear my family apart, and look after myself at the same time? This situation is causing a lot of mental strain.…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    re: …outted again?

    August 10, 2016 / No Comments

      thanks everyone for the kind, supportive replies to the above post. it means a lot. <3 as a sort of update… i ended up emailing him (because calling would have been too awkward) and finally, after tap dancing around the issue by joking about him spying on me, we had one of those extremely-rare-between-us conversations about something serious. my dad, a man of relatively few words, caught me totally by surprise. me: i saw you followed me on Twitter using a newer account than the old one that had been following me. trying to get back into Twitter? dad: No I just signed back in to the account. Just never looked at it much.  That’s all. Is that why you thought I was spying on you? me: ….i was joking but yes. 😛 dad: No I’m not spying sweetheart.  And you’re old enough to feel how you want.  I’ll always be…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “You are freaking perfect how you are.”

    June 19, 2018

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016

    QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)

    July 21, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    …outted again?

    August 8, 2016 / No Comments

    ………that feel when you walk into the staff room in between teaching classes, check your phone and see notifications on Twitter from your dad. your dad, who you’re in no way out to because you barely even talk to him. on Twitter, where one look at your profile totally outs you and links to your extremely personal and queer as all fuck YouTube channel. so not panicking. SO NOT PANICKING. been outted to a parent by social media before. it’s not like i wasn’t prepared for this to happen eventually. it’s not like i haven’t secretly been wanting this to happen because i didn’t feel like actually coming out to him directly. NO PROBLEM. so like…. do i call him now or what because he literally only calls me when there’s been an earthquake or some other disaster (or near disaster) in Japan. that, or it’s my birthday. ……..ugggghh. fucking…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    October 23, 2016

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    AskAPan Week 06 – “Genderblind”ness (+DOMA comments)

    June 28, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else… he just told me he hasnt been telling…”

    August 8, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, I rly just need an outward view. My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else(pretty sure I’m full ace, pan-rom but still figuring that out)&he just told me he hasnt been telling me when he’s had sexual feelings for me because it’s “not a thing you want and I don’t want to feel like an asshole for having sexual feelings.”I explained the difference between attraction&amp;arousal&amp;now he is really not ok with me not having sexual attraction towards him(cause he just realised it maybe?) I have no idea what to do because he can get rly insecure and he has no idea about the pan thing. I’ve mentioned poly things too, not saying I want it but if he did I’d be okay to try it, but he said he’s done if I ever want anything like it. I guess I just feel weird about things…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV

    February 21, 2015

    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015

    one of many reasons why “QUEER” means so much to me.

    September 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “All the pronouns in Italian are female and masculine, “it” in Italian doesn’t exist…”

    August 4, 2016 / No Comments

    johncatwatson said: I have the same problem of the last ask. All the pronouns in Italian are female and masculine, “it” in Italian doesn’t exist. The only alternative I have is say words at masculine way. (re: this post) indeed, Italian does share linguistic problems with French when it comes to gender, although (as you’ve pointed out) unlike French, Italian doesn’t even have a commonly used pronoun for “it”, among other differences. i can only imagine how frustrating that must be. :/ i’m embarrassed to say that i studied Italian for two years in college but know / remember even less of it now than i do French…! nevertheless, i used what i remember to go digging and see what i could find about non-binary anything in Italian and was really disappointed. i don’t know if it’s just my poor language skills, but what i was able to find about non-binary people…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I really have a problem when I want to speak about neutral people in French.”

    August 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi. I really have a problem when I want to speak about neutral people in French. For the pronouns, there’s only a translation for ‘it’ or ‘that’ and that sounds weird. ‘They’ can only be masculine or feminine. A woman and a man, it becomes masculine. Misogynistic. The same for words and adjectives. You can only be a masculine or a feminine trans. You can’t be happy, you’re a happy girl or a happy boy. Articles, pronouns &amp; adjectives are not neutral. So how can I speak about you for example? yeah… as a native English speaker who speaks only a smidgen of (vraiment un petit brin de) French, i can only imagine how much of a pain in the ass it must be to speak in a gender neutral way about someone… and as you’ve pointed out, there’s also a lot of patriarchy and misogyny build into…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    June 17, 2014

    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017

    QAC 33 – (Not) “Transitioning” As Non-Binary in Japan

    December 30, 2014
  • Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “I know I do too I’m sorry if it came out the wrong way…”

    August 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know I do too I’m sorry if it came out the wrong way 🙁 I wanted to write something different because I hate the word normal but I was like 2 characters over the limit :/ I apologize. But thanks a lot for the answer! (I should’ve used common but I couldn’t think of the word because english isn’t my first language) (re: this post) it didn’t come out the wrong way at all, anon. i could tell that you yourself did not like using the word “normal” because you put it in quotes. no worries! i just commented on the “normal” thing anyway because a lot of people do use that wording and i always feel the need to push back against that, even when doing so is unnecessary… sorry if what i said made you feel like you did something wrong, anon, because you certainly didn’t. <3

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “I’m the anon reading lexicons in order to find a word…”

    August 2, 2016 /

    anonymous said: I’m the anon reading lexicons in order to find a word to describe myself. Thank you very much for taking so much time for me, for your long, very interesting and helpful answer. In fact, I was only looking for a single word because everybody here seems to have one (they say ‘hi I’m this or that’) and it was driving me crazy that there wasn’t one for me. I thought everyone but me had a word that suited completely. You put my mind at ease. You’re right I should find my own combination of words. (re: this post) no problem, anon. thanks for coming back and responding. 🙂 even though it may feel like everyone has a particular word / identity / label that describes them completely, rest assured that that totally is not the case. not everyone is able to (or even wants to) put a…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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