2015 | Page 13 of 14 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “what is romantic attraction vs sensual?”

April 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: i haven’t heard of sensual attraction until recently but i’m having a hard time separating it from romantic attraction? like what //is// romantic attraction vs sensual? sorry if this is a really basic question! not a “really basic question” at all! honestly, the world at large doesn’t even distinguish between different types of attraction, they’re all considered to be part of the same thing. it’s the asexual and aromantic communities that started dissecting attraction into different categories and it can be very confusing at times. within ace and aro communities, attraction is commonly broken up into 5 categories: platonic, aesthetic, sensual, romantic and sexual attraction. see these posts to find out the basics on all of them: [ 1 ] + [ 2 ]

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “to be sexually attracted to someone, do you necessarily have to fantasize about…?”

April 13, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m sorry if this is dumb, but I’ve always been confused about the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. To be sexually attracted to someone, do you necessarily have to fantasize about partaking in sexual acts with that person? I’m wondering because I have never been attracted to sex or anything related to sex. I don’t think I’ll ever have sexual fantasies about anyone, and my disinterest in sex has nothing to do with my religious or moral beliefs. Is this normal? anon, i feel like you’re asking the wrong person this question since i’ve never even experienced sexual attraction myself lol….. based on my understanding of sexual attraction, what you’ve described (fantasizing about partaking in sexual acts with someone) may be a part of sexual attraction for some people, yes. however, someone can fantasize about partaking in sexual acts without actually wanting to partake in such…

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Vesper H.

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Re: Tokyo Ace Meetup

April 5, 2015 / No Comments

thanks to everyone who came to the Tokyo Ace Meetup! it was our 3rd(?) and most successful meetup yet, i think, and it was really great to meet you all (including those not photo’d above). 🙂 we’re now discussing walking in the Tokyo Pride parade (Sun, April 26th) again this year, so stay tuned for that! if you have an account on AVEN, join in on the discussion! i look forward to meeting you all (and more) again in the future. 🙂 *attempting to post this from a speeding train because i’m going to pass out as soon as i get home*

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “For the longest time, I identified as demiro, for a pretty similar reason.”

April 4, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: For the longest time, I identified as demiro, for a pretty similar reason. I never understood romance for what it apparently is– I don’t now, either– but I have always had pretty intense squishes. Romance seemed like the “answer”– a grown-up, committed relationship, more than friendship. But, similar to what you’ve said, I was never the one to initiate it. My confusion really culminated when my romantic partner way back when told me that he loved me, and I…just couldn’t say it back. I got even more confused later as I kept seeing these squishes as romance, questioning my “sexuality” as I developed one on a same-gendered friend, who later shot me down horribly. Another relationship revealed that I thought of my partner as a sibling, not as anything romantic. I’m in a QPR now, after figuring things out “enough,” but there’s still a lot of confusion; I still…

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Vesper H.

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grayro? demiro? whenthestarsalignhyperro?

April 3, 2015 / 2 Comments

i’ve been off-handedly questioning whether i may be somewhere along the aromantic spectrum or not for a while now, but since i felt no rush to tack on yet another identity label onto my already crazy-long list of identity labels, such thoughts have mostly gotten swept under the rug before really getting anywhere. well, since i have a bit of free time on my hands now thanks to spring break, i promised myself that i’d explore this topic more. what follows is just me putting thoughts into words… many, many words… for my own sake. may Cat God be with you if you attempt to get through this.

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Vesper H.

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one of those days.

April 2, 2015 / No Comments

today was another one of those days. after showering i looked in the mirror. why did i do that?? i knew what i’d see and how it’d make me feel. then i spent 2.5 hours doing my hair, only to have to fight the urge to cut it once i was done. again. i love my hair and yet i don’t. no one would dare try to talk me out of cutting it once i told them how it’s so heavy that it gives me headaches when i wear it in a pony tail to keep it out of the way for a prolonged period of time, or how it hurts my neck while washing it because it becomes so heavy with water; how i go through so much product that is expensive to import and how it takes 10hrs to fully dry, which sucks all kinds of hell in…

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Vesper H.

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Tokyo Ace Meetup

April 1, 2015 / No Comments

attn: ace, ace spectrum and otherwise awesome people in central Japan! event: hanami (cherry blossom viewing), tea/coffee and dinner date: Sunday, April 5th 2015 time: 11:45am ~ whenever (8pm maybe?) location: Tokyo; contact me for details note: for hanami, please BYO everything! i’d been putting off announcing this for forever while people got organized, but now it’s gotten late and people still aren’t organized so whatever. a meetup started being organized months ago on AVEN for April 5th, but upon finding out about Stonewall Japan (LGBT for foreigners) and a local Tokyo LGBT group’s hanami party on the same day, we’ve decided to join in on their fun for part of the day. because different people are available at different times, my proposed (rough) itinerary is: 11:45 – meetup @undisclosed station then join up with the Stonewall Japan/Tokyo LGBT group for hanami 14:30 – meetup @undisclosed cafe for chichat over drinks and more…

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Vesper H.

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“boy? girl? NO! neither.”

April 1, 2015 / No Comments

made this to put on a t-shirt to wear to Tokyo Pride. debating whether or not to bother making similar shirts available to others as i’ve never sold merch online before, but for now you can buy a similar shirt [ here ]?

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve always had a fascination for both sexes and just came to terms about dating a transgender… I’m thinking that I’m pansexual?”

April 1, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’ve been conflicted about my sexuality (again) lately. It started a couple weeks ago when I was talking to a friend and she made a comment about something I said. Normally I would’ve brushed it off (because people’ve always thought I was gay), but I guess it was good timing? I’ve always had a fascination for both sexes, and I just came to terms about dating a transgender, and now I’m thinking that I’m pansexual? I’ve been trying to stay away from dating women (I’m female) because of my parents. I’m a 17 year old female, don’t know if I added that The anon talking about the pansexuality dilemma I’ve also never dated anyone before (no one’s legitimately asked me out before). I’m so sorry for spamming you I’ll stop now- have a nice day (Anon from the age and pansexuality thing) hello anon, before i delve into…

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Vesper H.

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custom t-shirt wooo

March 31, 2015 / No Comments

…just spent well over an hour designing this shirt for Tokyo Pride only to get to the checkout stage and be told that CustomInk.com doesn’t ship outside of the US… foaming at the mouth right now. I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME NOR MONEY FOR THIS SHIT. ugh. *goes to bed annoyed with the world*

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Vesper H.

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