sexuality Archives | Page 5 of 7 | Queer As Cat

Mental [Un]health, YouTube[r]

QAC 43 – Coming to Terms w/ Depression & Anxiety | Mental Health

December 7, 2015 / 1 Comment

my journey to self-awareness and self-acceptance regarding the state of my own mental health has been a long one. 15-some-odd years i’ve been struggling with persistent depression and social anxiety and my journey is far from over. in this video i talk about how i went for over a decade without even knowing what “mental health” even was and how i’ve struggled going from that to where i am today, having finally accepted my mental health for what it is. i also briefly mention how the intersectionality of race, sexuality and gender factored into my struggle with mental wellbeing. for those who’d prefer to read most of what was said here, check out this Tumblr post: http://tmblr.co/Z04EMt1y9JmEq the video ended up being fairly long, but oh well. i’m glad i wrote most of it out and posted it to Tumblr first then sat on it for weeks. made talking about…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “What do u do if u have identified as exclusively homosexual for a long time but then u fall for one person of the opposite sex?”

October 29, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: What do u do if u have identified as exclusively homosexual for a long time but then u fall for one person of the opposite sex? Are u still homosexual or does that one exception make u something else? in my humble opinion that is entirely up to you. some people do continue to identify as homosexual but with an exception. some identify as bisexual but with an inclination towards a certain gender(s). others identify as something else entirely. it’s entirely up to the person in question. being a non-binary person myself, i feel obligated to mention that if you do eventually enter into a relationship with someone of a different gender (there is no such thing as “the opposite” sex or gender given that there are more than two), it would be worth chatting about it with your partner. especially when it comes to trans or non-binary people,…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…why are lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic?”

October 13, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Different anon but I have a q about something u said in the last anon q you answered. If it is okay for people to be repulsed by certain genitalia than why do lesbians who don’t want to have sex with women with gentalia that repulses them considered transphobic? This is something I’ve seen in a lot of places on tumblr. Can you speak more about being repulsed by certain genitalia being okay? [this is in reference to this post] *takes a deep breath, steadying themself for potential backlash from this post* …the following is my opinion, but there is a difference between: defining your orientation based solely on the genitalia you do or do not find repulsive.* (ie. saying that you’re a lesbian or gynosexual because you’re repulsed by penises.) defining your orientation based on your attraction to X (Y, Z) gender(s) and then adding a…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic…?”

October 12, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic because they reinforce genitalia=gender by only having sex with people as the same genitals as their own? …………..i’m going to respond to this in the format of a list because after sitting on this ask for nearly a day i have decided that that is the best way to keep this response from turning into a rant. when a person (regardless of their sexuality) is attracted to someone else they are attracted to that person’s character, to their self-expression, to their smile, to their identity, to their voice, to who they are as a person. people do not use x-ray vision to look through a person’s clothing to see what genitalia they have and decide whether they find that genitalia attractive or not. why are you equating same-gender attraction with same-genitalia attraction? there actually are people of every orientation who find…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 39 – Biromantic + Panromantic Pride! | Being Both Bi & Pan

September 23, 2015 / No Comments

happy Bi Visibility Day and Bi Awareness Week! 🙂 in this video i talk about what being biromantic and panromantic means to me, common questions i get about being bi and pan and why i identify as both rather than one or the other. i also talk about my journey to realizing my romantic orientation and how being black and being asexual played a part in that journey. ========= TIME POINTS ========= @00:00 – happy Bi Awareness Week & Bi Visibility Day! @00:39 – what is “biromantic” & “panromantic”? @01:20 – what being biro and panro means to me. @01:30 – FAQ: “but bi means two!!!“ @02:53 – FAQ: “but then how is bi different from pan???” @04:09 – FAQ: “but why do you identify as both bi & pan???“ @09:07 – coming out to myself at 27: race played a part in it. @10:56 – coming out to myself…

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Vesper H.

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The Intersections of a Black, Non-binary Ace

September 16, 2015 / No Comments

i keep putting off talking about this topic because of feels and because i’m lazy stuff, but it’s 1:30am on a work night, i’ve just responded to an email from someone asking me about this topic and i’m too tired to censor myself or to overthink what people may think of my opinion. what a perfect opportunity to share my thoughts on Tumblr! let’s cut and paste.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “Is it possible to be Heteroromantic, bisexual and asexual all at the same time?”

August 10, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it possible to be Heteroromantic, bisexual and asexual all at the same time? it is entirely possible to be heteroromantic and __sexual at the same time. i am confused, though. what do you mean by bisexual and asexual? do you fluctuate between the two? or perhaps you experience sexual attraction towards some genders but then experience none towards other(s)? if it’s the latter, i’d personally (and this is just what i’d personally do, i am not telling you to do this) probably identify as heteroromantic bisexual rather than heteroromantic bisexual asexual. being bisexual does not mean that you experience sexual attraction indiscriminately. it’s common for there to be gender(s) that one isn’t sexually attracted to, so i wouldn’t feel a need to identify as asexual on top of bisexual. also, being asexual means that one doesn’t experience sexual attraction regardless of gender, which contradicts being bisexual.…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: ” I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo?”

August 1, 2015 / No Comments

coffeeartheart said: So I watched your video ‘QAC 03’ and Its a lot to take in. I’m 20 and it just occurred to me that I may be (if I got it right) a Biromantic Homosexual but I was looking for conformation: What if I love ladies sexually in both a visual and physical way and I find guys attractive in a sexual way and want them to hold me, but the moment things get even remotely sexual it’s like I thought of dead puppies. I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo? Sorry for my personal inquiries.. hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. your ask itself is most certainly not something you need apologize for! a common misconception that people have is that bisexual are assumed to be equally attracted to all of the genders that they are attracted to. while…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Is it normal to go back and forth on my sexuality?”

July 10, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it normal to go back and forth on my sexuality? Like for a year claim im bi, then like turn around and the next year say im a lesbian but then question it again 2 years later?… not everyone is always (or ever) 100% certain of their sexuality. sexuality is very, very complex. hell, for some people it even changes over time. as such, some people question their sexuality for months or years, some people are perpetually in a state of uncertainty and some eventually identify as one thing or another only to question that identity again down the road. and all of this is 100% ok. there is nothing wrong with or strange about questioning one’s sexuality. there is nothing wrong with changing the word(s) you use to describe yourself, no matter how many times you do it. regardless of whether it is just the…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What is sexual attraction exactly?”

July 9, 2015 / No Comments

fajitasvanitas said: (Coming from an ace) what is sexual attraction exactly? Is it like “I want to have sex with this person?” Or?? coming from another ace who has never actually experienced sexual attraction first hand, that sounds about right. at least, in so far as i understand it. or as i put it in another post re: libido vs sexual attraction: for many people (including asexuals), it can be hard to distinguish between sexual attraction and sex drive/libido because they often do influence each other. if a sexual person feels sexually attracted to someone, that someone generally becomes the driving force behind one’s sex drive. however, it is totally possible to experience one without the other. in other words, sexual attraction is being attraction to/drawn to someone in such a way that that person becomes the target of one’s sexual feelings (libido).

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Vesper H.

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