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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi…”

    March 1, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi, i can see myself holding her hand and kissing her and i’m okay with that, i wouldn’t mind that. i’ve never felt this way about a girl before and honestly i’m so confused. i’ve never seen myself in the way w a girl before. most of my friends are bi, or gay, i am one out of the three straights in our group. but i’m not sure anymore any advice ? it can be really confusing, disorientating and even scary to be faced with feelings / experiences that you’ve never had before. perhaps try thinking of it as an opportunity to explore something new rather than it being something that you have to figure out about yourself. life in general is an adventure that we’re all living rather than…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’ve always had these feelings of just my own personal identity BEING my gender??”

    February 12, 2017 / No Comments

    lovely-sawshark said: Ive been looking at the maverique stuff, and I think that might be my gender identity but I’m not sure?? Since I was about 12, I always thought “I don’t really have a gender. I’m just Liz. Liz is my gender.” At the time I thought this wasn’t normal and kept it to myself, and a couple of years ago I discovered the nonbinary community and jumped headfirst into the idea that I was agender. I don’t have a gender, I’m just Liz! Liz is my gender! But reading your posts makes me feel like maybe I’m a maverique?? Cuz I’ve always had these feelings of just my own personal identity BEING my gender?? Idk man, sorry for the spam   not spam at all. 🙂 if the number of asks i’ve received over at @maveriques​ expressing similar feelings are any indication, a lot of people will be…

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    Vesper H.

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    June 23, 2016

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “To me I’m just a person. Is that what [maverique] is like?”

    January 16, 2017 / No Comments

    curvycutieteenybopper said: I just found your gender identity and I think it fits me? I’m not a boy or girl. There’s something but it’s not based off of boy or girl. To me I’m just a person. Is that what it’s like? How does it differ from non binary as an identity? Thank you normally i’d respond to this with some long-winded blabbering, but i just wrote another long-winded blabber of a post and am out of wind now, so… forgive me for keeping this (relatively) brief. i think that you’ll find that many people, regardless of their gender, view themselves as “just a person” or “just themself”, so i personally don’t consider that to be something specific to maveriques. not everyone feels like their gender defines them in a way that stops them from being “just” themself, a person, and simultaneously a man, woman, agender person etc at the same time……

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I was wondering when/how did you figure out you weren’t a woman?”

    January 5, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: HI! I like your blog. I’m pretty new around here though. Still trying to understand gender stuff. I was wondering when/how did you figure out you weren’t a woman? hi, anon, and thanks. 🙂 i’m not sure that my own personal experience will be of any help to you, but… the short answer: i never felt like i was a girl / woman to begin with, but at the same time i knew that i wasn’t a boy / man. i defaulted to society’s gender assignment because of not knowing that i could do or be anything else. i told myself, “well, i’m not a boy / man, so i guess that makes me the tomboy that people say i am.” however, the second i became aware of the fact that a person could be neither a boy / man nor a girl / woman, that being genderqueer (at the…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Can I be agender and maverique?”

    December 29, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Can I be agender and maverique? Like “I’m an agender maverique” is that a thing? I’m so confused halp. ;^; you are whatever you are, anon, and if that happens to be an agender maverique then you’re an agender maverique. it’s not a matter of something being a thing or not, it’s simply a matter of who you feel yourself to be. you know who you are and how you feel better than anyone else, so i encourage you to trust yourself no matter what others may say. your feelings of being agender and maverique are proof enough that yes, being an agender maverique is a thing because you are ‘a thing’. you exist and your feelings / experiences are valid, as are the words that you feel describes them best. having said that, you may find it encouraging to know that you would not be alone in being…

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    Vesper H.

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    June 12, 2016

    identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

    July 21, 2017

    QAC 18 – Queer: More Than Sexuality & Gender Identity?

    October 12, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “how do I know if I’m ace?”

    December 26, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, I have a question : how do I know if I’m ace? For example if I have never kissed someone how do I know I don’t like to kiss someone? Maybe is a stupid question but I’m new on this blog hi anon, “how do i know if i’m ____?” is a very common question that many people ask themself and / or others at one point or another and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. despite being a common question, the answer to that question isn’t a simple one and will differ from person to person because there is no one “true” answer, imho. the following is just my longwinded personal opinion. before i attempt to answer your question i’d like to point out that whether you like or don’t like kissing is not an indication of whether you’re ace or not. if you don’t like kissing…

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    Vesper H.

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  • Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…does anything else about how gender is discussed estrange you?”

    December 6, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Branching off of your Cis-Trans binary video, does anything else about how gender is discussed estrange you? For me, settling on quoigender hasn’t been a comfortable experience, as it doesn’t provide the luxury or comfort of certainty. Coupled with ableism, aro- and acephobia, being quoigender and thus “see, not a real girl(TM) after all” makes gender itself alienating. I can’t “celebrate my gender identity” when I not convinced that I even have one, and suggesting that I should is insulting. ( re: this video / blog post ) there’s quite a lot surrounding gender and how it’s often discussed that bothers and / or alienates me, including the assumption that everyone knows their gender or even has one at all. that said, as someone who does have a gender, knows what it is and is comfortable in it, i admit that i am privileged in that regard and thus am…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders?”

    November 16, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, Vesper! I have a very serious question to ask. It’s about gender. It might come off as offensive, but in no means is it meant to be. Could it be possible that there really only are 2 genders? Hear me out: it can be argued that gender is not really determined by characteristics or genitals, instead more by chromosomes, XX or XY. For humans, biologically there is only male and female(no, i did not forget intersex), but gender identity can be a whole other deal! You see, gender identity can be how someone feels about their gender. Like, I was born female, but I did not feel like that fit. Male didn’t fit either, so I identify as agender. But, I didn’t really feel like it was an actual gender as much as an identity, a way for me to express myself. I may just be getting…

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    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m a trans male and I’m attracted to people with feminine gender identity or presentation…”

    November 15, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know you aren’t an omniscient god of queer or anything, but I really respect a lot of your opinions so I figured I might as well ask your opinion on this. I’m a trans male and I’m attracted to people with feminine gender identity or presentation. In other words, any female, plus any other gender as long as they present as feminine. I’m not sure I have the right to use anything other than straight, but I also feel as if that reduces identity to being just expression. Thoughts? in my humble opinion, if someone uses a word other than “straight” to describe themself, it isn’t because they have the right to use that word. who a person is and the word(s) one uses to refer to that isn’t a matter of rights. that said, if it were (or if i were to stop being ridiculous and take what…

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    Vesper H.

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless…”

    November 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: this sounds dumb but i really wonder about – i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless, like i will never be totally validated and accepted like cis people are even if i completely transition (sometimes i even wish i was cis so i wouldn’t have to deal with the things i feel). occasionally i wonder if maybe i really am faking it even though it’s been a couple years since i realized that being trans felt right. am i the only one who has these thoughts? am i faking it? i can tell you with 100% certainty that you’re not the only one who has such thoughts and who feels this way at times, anon. it’s not at all uncommon to feel hopeless sometimes; to wish that you were like those around you who do not have to deal with the things…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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