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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    reflecting back on years of consent without information about asexuality

    July 11, 2016 / 1 Comment

    content warning: mentions of sex and abuse; talk of consent issues. this is the second of what has now become three posts that i’m writing about my personal experiences with sexual abuse / violence and consent issues, the first of which can be found here. this post focuses on how my ability to consent may or may not have been affected by not knowing about the existence of asexuality prior to consenting to sex in past relationships. even though there are those who insist that consent is as simple as “yes” or “no,” that there is no gray area involved– you either consented or you didn’t– for lots of people consent can be more complicated than that. in my time on Tumblr, various posts have come across my dashboard on the topic of consent and/or agency, specifically in the context of being asexual. sometimes when i read one of those posts, some…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    the trauma i never knew i had: navigating childhood trauma 29 years after the fact

    July 1, 2016 / No Comments

    content warning: explicit talk of childhood sexual abuse & religous trauma without going into detail; explicit mentions of acephobia, biphobia, homophobia this is one of two posts that i’m going to (hopefully) post on the topic of sexual abuse / violence and consent issues. this specific post is a submission to @resourcesforacesurvivors​‘ series on Intersectional Ace Survivor Stories and pertains to navigating childhood trauma and religious family as a not-so-young-anymore black, non-binary, bi / pan asexual. while i have talked briefly about the topic of this post in a video, for the most part the experiences discussed in both posts are ones that i’m only just now sitting down and thinking about. please bear with me as i try to put things into words. i’ll be honest with you. i’m extremely hesitant about posting this or drawing any kind of connection between myself and sexual abuse. why? well, for one, my online…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    February 16, 2015

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    April 29, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels!”

    June 29, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels! I identify under both the ace and aro umbrellas, but it’s weird and hard to explain and trying to say I’m bi/pan/poly/etc (even without -romantic) carries that weird connotation that doesn’t fit me. I actually think you just managed to put my feelings into words??? I’m having an epiphany and I need to go think about this more. (re: this post) i know right? i’m also very fond of ‘queer’ as a word and identity and identify strongly with it. sometimes i refer to myself as a ‘queer asexual’ rather than as a ‘bi / pan asexual’ for the sake of brevity and/or to avoid assumptions, depending on the situation and who i’m talking to. whenever i do that, ‘queer’ isn’t acting as a replacement for ‘bi’ or ‘pan’, but rather as yet another…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity?”

    June 28, 2016 / 1 Comment

    anonymous said: I have a question. I saw your post about how you find it a but annoying that people either assume you’re bisexual or bi romantic, when you always just say bi. And I’ll admit that since you are also asexual my first reaction was to assume you were biromantic, I’m sorry. But it confuses me a little. Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity? It’s okay if you don’t want to! I’m just trying to understand (in response to this post) first off, even though i felt a need to vent about it because it is annoying, i want to point out that i’m not offended or angry when someone misreads my bi identity, especially if they’re understanding when/if i correct them. there are so many reasons why a person would automatically read “bi” as either bisexual or biromantic that it almost…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    that feel when

    June 23, 2016 / 1 Comment

    everyone outside of the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘bisexual’ and everyone within the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘biromantic’ because everyone assumes forgets that a person can just simply be bi or that there’s more to a person’s sexuality than just -sexual / -romantic.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    June 22, 2016

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    October 23, 2016
  • Feedback,  Mental [Un]health,  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “you’re personality REALLY reminds me of me. I’m also what you call “apathetic as hell.””

    June 19, 2016 /

    anonymous said: you’re personality REALLY reminds me of me. I’m also what you call “apathetic as hell.” I just think you can catch more flies with honey. People shut down if you automatically start tearing them down. You don’t build yourself (& others) up by tearing someone (& others) down. PLUS you’ll NEVER get them to understand what you’re talking about if you attack them back because they’ll be in their defensive mindset. It’s effective in helping people evolve. It’s also important to pick your fights. If you’re constantly fighting not only are you going to drain yourself but people will start to take your fighting level as a basic level of how you react to things and they’ll take you less seriously. Also some people do screw up and don’t realize it; informing them on the issue and helping them improve themselves is better than just throwing them under…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Japan[ese],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    Pulse.

    June 13, 2016 / No Comments

    …as if dealing with the news itself and the media’s handling of it isn’t enough, i’m going to have to go through the week (and for however long after) listening to lots of opinions and commentary on the event that i would really rather do without, all while keeping my own feelings and opinion in check because, you know. that’s the nature of my job. somehow i’m going to have to muster up the energy to up my game with my Everything’s Okay face this week. …i’m exhausted already just thinking about it. ugh.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    March 12, 2018
  • [Random] Thoughts

    lmfao

    June 2, 2016 / No Comments

    …this is too funny, considering i’ve known this person since 2003 and this is literally the first time we’re having this conversation. D;

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    …mmm, decided there hasn’t been enough Calcifer on this blog, so here you go.

    November 20, 2017

    introducing: ユキハリ / Yukihari

    April 4, 2014

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    April 2, 2019
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    …limitations of intersectionality

    May 29, 2016 / 1 Comment

    …so earlier today i was interviewed for an upcoming podcast for queer people of color. it was great! i spilled my guts all over the place in a rather embarrassing way and it’ll be available for your amusement in the near future! but now i feel a need to unload some disjointed, messy feels about intersectionality. tl;dr: it’d be nice if intersectionality could happen on more than just two (occasionally three) axes at a time, but that’s unlikely to ever happen.

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    Vesper H.

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    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017

    “i am asexual”

    February 12, 2013
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “you mention neutrois having ‘some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition’. What did you mean by this?”

    May 27, 2016 / No Comments

    jenovaii said: Hi, I’m at the crux of being upset, but I want to make sure I’m not just misunderstanding. In your discussion of why you coined the word maverique (which is a really nice-sounding term btw), you mention neutrois’ having “some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition”. What did you mean by this? I’m sorry if you’ve already answered some similar clarification; i did try to look through your blog for answers before asking. You can reply privately or not, nbd.   hi and thanks for asking for clarification. 🙂 to quote the post in question more fully: i repeatedly saw people (wrongfully, imho) associating and/or confusing neutrois with agender and genderlessness, as well as throwing around some bullshit requirement of dysphoria and a desire to transition. in the above, i never actually said who was throwing around the requirements. i may be wrong, but i’m…

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    Vesper H.

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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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