personal Archives | Page 3 of 12 | Queer As Cat

Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “…being nonbinary, does it ever get difficult to navigate different aspects of your life because of you being nonbinary?”

February 22, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I wanted to ask being nonbinary, does it ever get difficult to navigate different aspects of your life because of you being nonbinary, specifically things like dealing with career, or a hobby or a passion that you have, where it feels like you have to hide or compromise who you are in order to retain that aspect of your life. I ask because right now i’m thinking of transitioning and even though i’m financially independant it feels like my different interests are tying me down 1/2 and that in order not to loose those interests I have to compromise various aspects of me being nonbinary, like for instance I do singing and karate and it feels like if I ever wanted to start transitioning I’d have to give those things up or say that i’m binary trans in order to justify transitioning, It feels like i’m at…

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Vesper H.

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identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.
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April 25, 2015
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anemia & medical misgendering

February 21, 2017 / No Comments

…really frustrated with how i can’t say that i’m anemic without people in general– but especially doctors– automatically relating my anemia to the assumed fact that i have a uterus that makes my life hell once a month. like seriously, could you not? the socially established association of a medical condition with a specific gender, with a specific sex, with a specific bodily function is so inescapable that as an AFAB person who’s assumed to be a woman, the second i mention being anemic to a doctor their thoughts automatically go to assumptions about my gender / sex / bodily functions and my anemia immediately gets chalked up to anemia due to blood loss. so inescapable that here in Japan at least iron supplements are often marketed specifically towards women. so inescapable that if i mention being anemic to a woman and she’ll immediately offer up earnest words of empathy…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 47 – Re: “Transitioning” in Japan / Body Mods & Dysphoria || Tea & Word Vomit
February 28, 2016

…ok, so i lied about not posting sappy cat updates till i bring him home.
September 12, 2017

『[4ｺﾏ]☆ＡセクシュアルとAce(エース)☆』
July 27, 2016
[Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

word vomit: escaping womanhood

February 10, 2017 / No Comments

time to word vomit a continuous stream of thoughts that have been going around in my head for a while now. will probably run with this more later. cw: slurs the binarist society(/ies) we live in fucks over everyone– be they trans or not– with its enforcement of binary gender roles, among other things. sometimes i’ll come across an article, blog post, whatever talking about this. to a point. sometimes it will be pointed out that how and to what extent society polices and enforces gender roles differs based on the assumed gender at birth of the person in question, among other things. that in American society, for example, people deemed to be females at birth are afforded a certain amount of leeway that people who are deemed to be male at birth are not.

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Vesper H.

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…ok, so i lied about not posting sappy cat updates till i bring him home.
September 12, 2017

QAC 31 – Relationships… Meh.
November 17, 2014

…and here we are. again. (cw: homophobia, nsfw)
July 17, 2018
[Random] Thoughts

…phone calls.

February 8, 2017 / No Comments

…i’d seen a post or two come across my dashboard related to what i’m about to go off about, but i never imagined that something like this would target me or my family. oh, how naive of me. anyway, i’m simultaneously pissed off, frustrated and worried and Twitter isn’t enough to contain these feels right now. on my way to work today i random get a message from mom saying “Have you been saying things that you shouldn’t say online? The government is monitoring you.” of course i’m like “whaaaat the fuck you talking about, mom?” my mom is no “conspiracy theorist”, but she did live through shit that you read about in textbooks and given the shit going on in America these days, there is immediate cause for alarm when those words come from her. apparently people claiming to be a ““research group”” (who won’t / haven’t told her an actual…

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Vesper H.

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ARTICLE: “Why Transgender People In Japan Prefer To Be Told They Have A “Disorder””
August 17, 2016

…ok, so i lied about not posting sappy cat updates till i bring him home.
September 12, 2017

#asexual pride shirt
October 27, 2013
[Random] Thoughts, Black[ness]

story time: when “American” is more important than “African”

January 7, 2017 / 3 Comments

a while ago i wrote a random post titled “story time: when “African” is more important than “American””. well, it’s time to follow that up with another even more random post. back when i lived in Brisbane, Australia i used to use public transportation (photoed) a lot to get around before eventually getting up the courage to drive on the “wrong” side of the road. i met people from all over while living in Australia, but in so far as i can remember, i only ever met one African-American person during the 3 years that i lived there. bad luck on my part, perhaps. maybe. not exactly. but i tell myself that it is to ignore the other factors at play because the truth is that no matter what country i’m in, it’s a novelty to meet another African-American abroad and i’m well aware of the various reasons for that.…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 11.5 – Life Update: Life Gives You Shit, Make S’mores
July 21, 2013

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tfw TERFs.
March 1, 2017
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I was wondering when/how did you figure out you weren’t a woman?”

January 5, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: HI! I like your blog. I’m pretty new around here though. Still trying to understand gender stuff. I was wondering when/how did you figure out you weren’t a woman? hi, anon, and thanks. 🙂 i’m not sure that my own personal experience will be of any help to you, but… the short answer: i never felt like i was a girl / woman to begin with, but at the same time i knew that i wasn’t a boy / man. i defaulted to society’s gender assignment because of not knowing that i could do or be anything else. i told myself, “well, i’m not a boy / man, so i guess that makes me the tomboy that people say i am.” however, the second i became aware of the fact that a person could be neither a boy / man nor a girl / woman, that being genderqueer (at the…

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Vesper H.

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spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV
February 21, 2015

QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual
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QAC 65 – 1 Month on Low Dose HRT | Non-Binary | Mental Health || The T Files #005
February 12, 2018
[A]sexuality, [Random] Thoughts, Black[ness], Gender[queer], Mental [Un]health, Queer[ness]

BLAQUEER: a self-care attempt

January 1, 2017 / No Comments

January 1st, 2017: an attempt at being more “active” about my own well-being à la microblogging finally gets off the ground. i’ve been thinking about making something like this for myself for a while, but have always dragged my feet about it. BLAQUEER will be devoted to any and everything that i find helpful for myself personally re: navigating queerness, mental health and self-care as a black person. at the moment, i envision that as including, but not being limited to: photos, artwork, etc of queer black people existing: because goddamnit, be it on Tumblr or out in the world at large, i never see that without actively search for it. i want a place where i can see people like me existing without having to hunt for it each time. i also want to curate what i see because i’m tired of wading through hypersexualization / hypermasculinzation when i do hunt…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 31 – Relationships… Meh.
November 17, 2014

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March 20, 2017
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#2016BestNine: Last Minute Selfie Positivity

December 30, 2016 / No Comments

with only one day left in 2016, it’s time for the annual end-of-the-year stuff zzz… having had memory issues for forever, i’ve been journaling / archiving / etc stuff online since, well… 2002 when i created my livejournal account, i guess. New Year’s specific stuff started in 2007 with a questionnaire-type meme that i have done every year since to recap the outgoing year, followed years later by a year-end “photo dump” to summarize a year’s worth of photos in one place. this post is a more recent tradition courtesy of Instagram, but i don’t want to post this on IG, so here we are! again. while i feel like 2016 hasn’t been a overly bad year for me personally, i also feel like the past two months have been such that they overshadow whatever else i am able to recall of 2016… sigh. it’s nice to have photographic proof that…

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Vesper H.

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Sixty-six // Thirty-three
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lmfao
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[Random] Thoughts, Queer[ness]

hats. hats. hats.

December 26, 2016 / No Comments

queerascat: …you know you have a problem when 3 out of the 4 hats that you own are exactly the same hat in exactly the same colors (black / gray / white) just in different patterns / materials. to be fair, though, the latest (solid black) one was half the price of the others despite being the same brand and everything, so of course i’m going to buy it. i mean, solid black is my thing– if anything, you’d have thought it’d have been the first hat i’d have bought, right? hmph. ;( more random thoughts about hats because i’m exceptionally longwinded tonight, apparently. …is it odd that i only got into hats once my hair started falling into “wow, your hair’s long feminine!” category in people’s eyes? like, before that i never even really gave hats any thought. now it’s almost like i feel a need to wear a hat…

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Vesper H.

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November 14, 2015

…so this happened at TRP today.
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on perpetual exhaustion

December 4, 2016 / 2 Comments

that feel when someone asks you how you are and you respond saying that you’re “tired”, knowing full well that they’ll take what you said differently from how you meant it. but that’s okay. because you’re fucking tired. you don’t have the energy to do anything about their understanding of the word anyway. hell, you yourself may not even know what kind of tired you are that day. are you depressed tired? are you anemic tired? are you queer tired? are you gaslighted tired? are you black tired? are you expat tired? are you anxious tired? are you one of the Many Other Kinds of tired? are you All Of The Above And More tired? ah yes, that’s right. you are a unique concoction of All The Above And More tired, further compounded upon by having to persevere through life as if you aren’t actually tired at all. when life…

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Vesper H.

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