personal Archives | Page 10 of 12 | Queer As Cat

[Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer]

f’in birthday cards

June 23, 2015 / 1 Comment

*gets home to see a birthday card from mom in the mailbox* me: ….hm. *opens envelope to see a pink and gold card with butterflies and a big, fat “For You, Daughter” on the front* me: ……… *opens card to see a long, handwritten message* *reads long, seemingly heartfelt message half smiling until* card: ……..I may not have been all that you desired me to be, but I’ve tried my best. I love you! You will always be my daughter! Still My Child!!!” me: ………………………… *goes onto Google Hangouts* *types exasperatedly* me: you expect me to happily say thank you for a card in which you’ve repeatedly misgendered me AGAIN just because you wrote nice things?? i’m sorry but no. thank you for the birthday present, but i don’t need cards in which you ignore my gender. *hits send, closes Google Hangouts* *watches Orange is the New Black while eating dinner…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “what does it mean when people identify as bi/pan or poly/pan or any other combination like that?”

June 23, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Im sorry if this is a dumb question, but what does it mean when people identify as bi/pan or poly/pan or any other combination like that. Is it like romantically they’re pan and sexually they’re bi, vice versa. Or is it something like they fall along somewhere between the two? I don’t know if I worded this clearly, I’m really curious and confused. Thank you for your time, you have a great blog btw. there is an infinite number of reasons why someone might identify as/with more than one orientation at the same time. for example, having a sexual orientation that differs from their romantic/etc orientation feeling like those orientations equally describe who they are feeling like a combination of those orientations feeling somewhere in between those orientations having a fluid sexuality that shifts between those orientations having a desire to be visible as a member of…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

June 16, 2015 / No Comments

it’s been nearly a year and a half since i was outted to my ultra religious mom as a non-binary, panromantic / biromantic asexual. things have been, and continue to be, rough between us at times… that said, there has been progress. it took well over a year, but she’s now making an effort to come to terms with part of my sexuality….? meanwhile continuing to completely reject my gender. thus far, the road to acceptance and understanding has been long and hard; sadly, as of now, that road still has no end in sight. ——— LINKS ——— QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet → https://youtu.be/NDyEAyNxoEg QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet → https://youtu.be/HStZgJ4Ewm8 snippets of conversations with my mom: → http://queerascat.tumblr.com/tagged/conversations-with-mom —————————–

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Vesper H.

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tattoo update

May 24, 2015 / No Comments

one more session to go next month and it’s finished! 😀 just had to show it off online since my employer is making me keep it covered up irl. ;( the design is by me in collaboration with Oshima-san of Apocaript. an update for those who were interested in my last posts. for those who dislike this kind of thing, sorry. this will probably the last time i post about my sleeve between now and when i make my body mod video in August?

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “How long have you been living in Japan? And whats the hardest…?”

May 16, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: How long have you been living in Japan? And whats the hardest cultural difference to get used to? 4 ½ years. there was a lot of culture shock and lessons learned in the earlier years, but at this point… i’d say the biggest thing that i continue to struggle with is work etiquette and social norms. regardless of where you live, there are a lot of things in life and in the work place that tend to go unsaid because people just know about these things. they’re social norms in your culture. well, when you work/live in a foreign country the locals sometimes forget that hey, your culture is different! they shouldn’t necessarily assume that you know or are comfortable with certain things! and that certain things that you do because it’s acceptable and “normal” in your culture is less acceptable or polite in their eyes, but hey! you might…

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Vesper H.

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Ace Day: What You Should Know

May 11, 2015 / 1 Comment

many people on Tumblr recently celebrated “Ace Day” on May 8th, 2015. many of those people are completely unaware of the controversy and ill feelings that surround the creation of this day. at the same time, some people are aware of it and have responded to it by not participating. that said, i’ve seen people (who obviously mean well) commenting both in posts and in tags shit that basically boils down to “TDOV copied/piggybacked off of the blackout day! how racist! we shouldn’t be like them!” please educate yourselves. TDOV predates the blackout, having been celebrated since 2010. TDOV isn’t a f’kin selfie day. it was founded by Rachel Candall to create a more cheerful and positive day to celebrate and recognize trans people, as opposed to the much more somber Transgender Day of Rememberance, the only other international event specifically about trans people who have passed away. but you…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “For the longest time, I identified as demiro, for a pretty similar reason.”

April 4, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: For the longest time, I identified as demiro, for a pretty similar reason. I never understood romance for what it apparently is– I don’t now, either– but I have always had pretty intense squishes. Romance seemed like the “answer”– a grown-up, committed relationship, more than friendship. But, similar to what you’ve said, I was never the one to initiate it. My confusion really culminated when my romantic partner way back when told me that he loved me, and I…just couldn’t say it back. I got even more confused later as I kept seeing these squishes as romance, questioning my “sexuality” as I developed one on a same-gendered friend, who later shot me down horribly. Another relationship revealed that I thought of my partner as a sibling, not as anything romantic. I’m in a QPR now, after figuring things out “enough,” but there’s still a lot of confusion; I still…

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Vesper H.

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grayro? demiro? whenthestarsalignhyperro?

April 3, 2015 / 2 Comments

i’ve been off-handedly questioning whether i may be somewhere along the aromantic spectrum or not for a while now, but since i felt no rush to tack on yet another identity label onto my already crazy-long list of identity labels, such thoughts have mostly gotten swept under the rug before really getting anywhere. well, since i have a bit of free time on my hands now thanks to spring break, i promised myself that i’d explore this topic more. what follows is just me putting thoughts into words… many, many words… for my own sake. may Cat God be with you if you attempt to get through this.

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Vesper H.

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one of those days.

April 2, 2015 / No Comments

today was another one of those days. after showering i looked in the mirror. why did i do that?? i knew what i’d see and how it’d make me feel. then i spent 2.5 hours doing my hair, only to have to fight the urge to cut it once i was done. again. i love my hair and yet i don’t. no one would dare try to talk me out of cutting it once i told them how it’s so heavy that it gives me headaches when i wear it in a pony tail to keep it out of the way for a prolonged period of time, or how it hurts my neck while washing it because it becomes so heavy with water; how i go through so much product that is expensive to import and how it takes 10hrs to fully dry, which sucks all kinds of hell in…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

March 16, 2015 / No Comments

trigger warning: body negativity, gender dysphoria, hints of self-harm, cursing a rant about my own negative body image and how that body image intersects with my identity as a black non-binary asexual. i touch upon a lot in this long video, so for your ease of viewing: ====== Time Points ======== @00:00 – introduction @00:57 – dismissal of my body issues @02:18 – height and dysphoria @05:08 – having lordosis and being misgendered @09:53 – hypersexualization of my butt as a black non-binary ace @12:44 – hypersexualization of my lips as a black non-binary ace @13:27 – self-destructive habits: lip picking @15:33 – hating my natural hair @19:00 – body modification and body positivity @21:16 – i’d love to hear from you ======================== “awkward but necessary” pretty much sums up this video.

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Vesper H.

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