panromantic Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Black[ness], Feedback, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Feedback: “I’ve know I was asexual since I was 12, and I felt broken. Till this day I still know, but I reject it…”

August 15, 2017 /

anonymous said: Hello! I’m Pangrayromantic and asexual. I feel so weird just admiting this, I’ve know I was asexual since I was 12, and I felt broken. Till this day I still know, but I reject it, mostly because the world has what I don’t have and I feel like I have to catch up. I feel like my asexuality dosnt fit in and it isn’t important, but this is mostly because I lack a sexuality lol. But it’s amazing to see another African American , who’s in the asexual and pan community! hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your message. i hope you’re doing well, in spite of recent events… i’m sorry to hear that you’ve struggled with (and continue to struggle with) your (a)sexuality for so long. while i personally do not view my asexuality as being a lack of sexuality, i can still imagine…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation…”

October 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation. Mainly because I don’t really care what someone’s gender is… Like as long as you’re not a jerk I’m okay with you. For some reason I just don’t know if I’m actually Asexual Heteroromantic, like it’s typically the male gender that I want to have a romantic relationship with but I’ve felt that way about girls? What am I?! (Also I recently discovered your blog and I thinks it’s awesome.) hello and thanks for following. 🙂 i’m afraid that i can’t tell you what you are. after all, there’s no way that i could know more about you than you know about yourself. that said, if you feel like you might be attracted to people of more than one gender (or any gender) then perhaps you are…? trust in your own feelings, but also keep in mind that it’s perfectly fine…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic…”

July 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello! I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic, yet I can’t seem to make sense of it. I also noticed you used all three terms, minus the ‘-romantic’ suffix. Would you be willing to talk about how those three connect for you, even just briefly? Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night. hi. 🙂 how being bi, pan and ace connect for me, eh…? mmm… well, the short and simplified way that i usually go about explaining my sexuality to people is that i am (have the potential to be) attracted to people of any gender, but that attraction is never sexual. …and unless the person in question responds to that with further questions or i feel like going into more detail than that, i usually just leave it at that because i think that’s as…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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Q&A: “i’m a non-binary person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan?”

July 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: so, i’m a non-binary (more specifically trans-masculine) person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan? like, i have a hard time figuring out what to call my sexuality, since i feel that many of the labels for sexuality aren’t really designed with nb people in mind. i just… don’t know if you’ve ever had similar feelings? oh definitely, i have felt that way before. in fact, i was at a non-binary meeting yesterday and this was a subject that came up. some people took no issue with bi, while others did. there was talk of how pan was coined in response to (the assumption of) bi being binarist and erasing or exclusionary of non-binary people and how people felt about that. some felt it was a good thing that pan was coined, others had no opinion as they don’t identify as either and were sorely missing the…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing?”

June 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: okay. so. why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing? (i have googled this, trust me) …gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that this is in response to this post where no one ever said that they mean the same thing. well fear not, confused anon! unlike Google, i have an entire tag (or four) dedicated to your very question! may i direct you, dear anon, to my #bi vs pan tag in particular, as well as to these two posts in that tag: “what’s the difference between bi and pan?” (hint: there is a difference) “why does it matter if the definitions of bisexuality overlap with the definitions of…?” (hint: it doesn’t matter) and no, lovely anon, my sarcasm is not meant as condescension! i just found the tone of your ask mildly annoying, so i thought i might as well jump onto…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual?”

May 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I was wondering if you would be able to tell me what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual? for some people, they can mean the same thing. it really depends on what the terms mean to the person/people identifying as them. a possible difference: a panromantic demisexual may have the potential to experience romantic attraction towards people of any gender, but they experience sexual attraction towards no one until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. a demi-pansexual may have the potential to experience sexual attraction towards people of any gender, but they don’t experience sexual attraction until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. these are but one of many possible ways that…

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Vesper H.

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#LeaveElsaAlone

May 11, 2016 / 1 Comment

quoted from a Tumblr post: Okay so I’m not against #GiveElsaAGirlfriend or anything, but I identify myself as an asexual person and honestly I would be really happy if there could be a princess who doesn’t need a prince or a princess or anyone. It would be really cool if there can be just one Disney character that does not need that kind of love, because being asexual is not easy to explain and much less to understand for others and yeah I think that #LeaveElsaAlone is much more accurate. please note: the following isn’t directed specifically at the OP so much as it’s directed at anyone & everyone who thinks that #LeaveElsaAlone is a good idea. could aces please, please, please not do that really shitty thing where you piggyback off of another community’s hashtag advocacy?? actually, this isn’t even piggybacking, really. i consider #AllLivesMatters to be piggybacking off…

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Vesper H.

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…so this happened at TRP today.

May 7, 2016 / 1 Comment

Nijiiro Komachi kicking ass again, handmaking flags on the spot to meet demand in their booth– GAH! why are you so amazing, Nijiiro Komachi?!?! i might as well be throwing money at you. ugh, 明日はホンマに大変になってしまったね。 tomorrow’s parade is going to be crazy. hopefully in a good way.

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Vesper H.

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#SpiritDay2015

October 15, 2015 / No Comments

as a teacher i’ve seen and heard of a lot of bullying, especially here in Japan where, sadly, #SpiritDay isn’t even really a thing. even though none of my students will take notice of it, i’ll be wearing purple today in honor of #SpiritDay. ※ took it upon myself to edit some of GLAAD’s #SpiritDay images to make them more accurate about myself and included an illustration of some homophobic and transphobic things i’ve heard my students saying to each other.

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Vesper H.

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cautious optimism: yet another conversation with mom

September 27, 2015 / No Comments

for those who don’t know, i stopped talking to my mom back in July. the situation with my mom evolved over a long period of time and i’ve talked about it twice on YouTube. [ 1 + 2 ] well, today i want to say extremely tentatively that it seems like some progress has been made in terms of restarting our relationship. i’m trying really, really hard not to be overly optimistic because if i’m wrong and things fall apart again, it will hurt all the more if i let my guard down and allow myself to be happy now. (tl;dr below) in recent weeks prior to today mom has made attempts at contacting me with such conversation starters as “help me understand.”, “what is it you want me to say?” and “i’m taking your sister to the ER so i thought i’d message you (ie: please talk to me).” aside…

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Vesper H.

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