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IF {subcommunity building} THEN {…?}
...wouldn't it be great if there was more of a sense of intersectional community, comradery, and identity among aces who are also bi? among aces who are also gay? among aces who are also sans romantic orientation? among aces who are simultaneously a part of any other minority community (sexuality-based or not) in addition to also being ace...?
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Q&A: “Is it possible for someone to be aromantic and bi/pansexual?”
anonymous asked: Is it possible for someone to be aromantic and bi/pansexual? I’m not trying to be rude or anything. I’m genuinely curious because you’re one of the few people I’ve come across whose biro/panro and ace, so I’m just wondering if one could be the former. I hope I didn’t word this incorrectly. If this ask comes off as harmful in any way, then I’m sorry. it’s more than possible, anon. i think you’ll find that there are plenty of aromantic bisexuals and aromantic pansexuals out there who would be more than happy to speak to the fact that their existence is more than just a possibility, it’s fact. 🙂 in other words, someone can most certainly be aromantic and bisexual / pansexual, anon, and no worries! your ask is worded just fine.
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Q&A: “Are there any good reasons why the split attraction model should be something only a-spec people use?”
anonymous said: Are there any good reasons why the split attraction model should be something only a-spec people use? A-spec aren’t the only people with crossed orientations. as far as i’m concerned, there is no reason why someone couldn’t or shouldn’t make use of the split attraction model if they feel it meaningful to do so. anyone who insists on telling someone that something that they find meaningful or helpful for themself is “actually more harmful than helpful” needs to stop and think about why it is that they feel it alright to attempt to undermine someone else’s agency over their own identity like that. the reason that i always see being upheld as for why the split attraction model is “more harmful than helpful” for people who aren’t asexual and / or aromantic always boils down to “because it was harmful for me.” in fact, after commenting on the post that…
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Feedback: “Thanks for the heteroromantic homosexual flag and thank you for your responses…”
anonymous said: Thanks for the heteroromantic homosexual flag and thank you for your responses and other people for their nice comments when this other tumblr user was more or less telling I’m not normal. It took more than 30 years before I could name my orientation and I was so happy when I was finally could do it. So it’s not nice to be insulted by someone who wasn’t asked a thing. Sorry if you were annoyed because of me and sorry for my bad English, it’s not my mother tongue. And again THANKS. (re: this post) no problem, anon, and no worries. i’m more than happy to help when i can and your English is great. i was annoyed at the other person, not you. 🙂
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Q&A: “Do you know a pride flag for heteroromantic homosexual?”
anonymous said: Hi. Do you know a pride flag for heteroromantic homosexual? Thanks hello. 🙂 there are no ‘official’ flags for mixed orientations (romantic & sexual orientations which differ from each other), but many people use the flag that is common for sexual orientations with a heart in the center in the colors of their romantic orientation. since i couldn’t find a decent example to link you to, i made one. here you go.
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Q&A: “I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic…”
anonymous said: Hello! I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic, yet I can’t seem to make sense of it. I also noticed you used all three terms, minus the ‘-romantic’ suffix. Would you be willing to talk about how those three connect for you, even just briefly? Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night. hi. 🙂 how being bi, pan and ace connect for me, eh…? mmm… well, the short and simplified way that i usually go about explaining my sexuality to people is that i am (have the potential to be) attracted to people of any gender, but that attraction is never sexual. …and unless the person in question responds to that with further questions or i feel like going into more detail than that, i usually just leave it at that because i think that’s as…
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Q&A: “What do you call my sexuality in this scenario?”
anonymous said: Hey hello hi, so I just recently came to the fact that im attracted physically to men and not sexually, but im attracted to woman physically and sexually. Ive always identified myself as a Lesbian and im confused now cus i found out i feel attracted to men. I DONT wanna do any sexually things with them, NEVER, but i find them attractive? like hardcore. What do you call my sexuality in this scenario? YO and thanks it’s up to you what you call yourself, anon. you could choose to continue to identify as a lesbian if you want to. being a lesbian doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t attracted to men in any way whatsoever, imho. then again, you could also identify as something else if you want to. some people are attracted to different genders in different ways. a woman who is sexually and romantically attracted to women…
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Q&A: “That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels!”
anonymous said: That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels! I identify under both the ace and aro umbrellas, but it’s weird and hard to explain and trying to say I’m bi/pan/poly/etc (even without -romantic) carries that weird connotation that doesn’t fit me. I actually think you just managed to put my feelings into words??? I’m having an epiphany and I need to go think about this more. (re: this post) i know right? i’m also very fond of ‘queer’ as a word and identity and identify strongly with it. sometimes i refer to myself as a ‘queer asexual’ rather than as a ‘bi / pan asexual’ for the sake of brevity and/or to avoid assumptions, depending on the situation and who i’m talking to. whenever i do that, ‘queer’ isn’t acting as a replacement for ‘bi’ or ‘pan’, but rather as yet another…
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Q&A: “Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity?”
anonymous said: I have a question. I saw your post about how you find it a but annoying that people either assume you’re bisexual or bi romantic, when you always just say bi. And I’ll admit that since you are also asexual my first reaction was to assume you were biromantic, I’m sorry. But it confuses me a little. Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity? It’s okay if you don’t want to! I’m just trying to understand (in response to this post) first off, even though i felt a need to vent about it because it is annoying, i want to point out that i’m not offended or angry when someone misreads my bi identity, especially if they’re understanding when/if i correct them. there are so many reasons why a person would automatically read “bi” as either bisexual or biromantic that it almost…
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that feel when
everyone outside of the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘bisexual’ and everyone within the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘biromantic’ because everyone assumes forgets that a person can just simply be bi or that there’s more to a person’s sexuality than just -sexual / -romantic.
